The Cure

I doubt I'll be posting anything else today, and maybe not tomorrow. You see, last night, the weather took a freakish turn (which is a common occurance down here), and the temp dropped like 40 degrees, and now it's all windy, and snowy, and sleety, and shit, and I really don't feel like doing anything besides lie in bed and watch cartoons (I CAN'T, but that's what I WANT to do). As it is, I have other things I need to attend to, so not only can I not get my sloth on, I'm going to be-GASP!-busy. So, before anyone starts bitching about the lack of new posts (oh, you know who you are), know that it will all be for naught.

Also, I don't know why, but whenever there's inclement weather, I regress to my younger years. I was a massive Cure fan back in HS, but I drew the line at thinking Robert Smith was hot, unlike some of the other chicks I went to school with. I mean, I know I like odd guys, but there's a difference between "odd guy" and "grim spectre of death, coming to claim me whilst I sleep". Yeah, I never got that. But the music? That was some good stuff. Yes, it was.


(EDIT-It is now Sunday afternoon, and something is wrong with my blog. When I go to post, all the thingys you can use to change the font, add pics, edit html, etc., just aren't there. Until they decide to reappear, I can't post anything. I am super pissed.)

PJ Harvey-"Down By the Water"

List Learnin'

There are three reasons why I'm posting this:

1. It's been awhile since I've posted a list, and I'm getting antsy.

2. After I talked about all the many and varied things I learned in 8th grade history, I came across this list of the ten best teachers in the movies on This Site, and I thought after I posted about teachers and movies the other day that was rather strange, so I took it as some sort of sign.

3. I will do anything I have to do to get that last post further down on the page.

I guess it's an okay list, but of course, I found fault in it, mainly because it doesn't have this Guy on it (and I say that without a trace of irony: I. Loved. That. Movie.) It's weird how specific some of these lists are. I'm sure if I looked hard enough, I could find a list of the 10 best movies that feature left-handed guys with blonde hair, that also wear glasses and chew bubble gum. I'm afraid to check....

1. Georges Lopez (To Be and To Have)

2. Jaime Escalante (Stand and Deliver) Edward James Olmos

3. John Keating (Dead Poets Society) Robin Williams

4. Mark Thackeray (To Sir, With Love) Sidney Poitier

5. Mr. Hand (Fast Times at Ridgemont High) Ray Walston

6. Glenn Holland (Mr. Holland's Opus) Richard Dreyfuss

7. Dave Jennings (Animal House) Donald Sutherland

8. Miss Shields (A Christmas Story)

9. Mr. Chips (Goodbye, Mr. Chips) Robert Donat

10. Terry Corrigan (Class of 1984) Roddy McDowall

Film Critic

Pavement

America's Most Uncomfortable Home Videos

I seem to have gotten more mature in the past few months. The reason I say that, is that used to, when I would be wracked with insomnia, I would watch either a crappy movie, or a horror movie (no,they're not always interchangable). In the past month or so, though, I seem to be gravitating towards documentaries. I cannot fathom what has brought about this change in my viewing habits, although I think the one I watched last night-Capturing the Friedmans-was chosen as a defense against the 1,000 hours of children's programming that I've had to endure during the past week (If I EVER have to see another episode of Hannah Montana, things are gonna get ugly up in here).

Ah, yes-Capturing the Friedmans. Let me break it down for you.

In the mid-80s, Arnold Friedman, a husband and father of three from Great Neck, New York, was arrested for possessing child pornography. The police also discovered that Friedman also taught computer classes to young children, and decided that they should investigate further. When they did, they uncovered an extremely sordid and bizarre tale of abuse and molestation that also implicated Arnold's youngest son, Jesse. Both ended up pleading guilty to numerous charges, and both went to prison. Arnold ended up killing himself while in prison, and Jesse was released in 2001 after serving thirteen years on his sentence.

Sounds like a simple tale of straight-up perversion, yes? No, it's really not. Through interviews with family members, law enforcement, accusers and others, the viewer is forced to draw their own conclusion about what actually happened. Interspersed throughout the entire film, are numerous home video clips of the Friedmans, who seemingly documented every conversation that took place in their home, and which help to either clarify or muddy your opinion, depending on how you look at it.

One of the reasons a documentary succeeds or fails, in my opinion, is the amount of bias a filmaker has towards his/her subject. Personally, I'm a fan of the "fly-on-the-wall" school of filmaking, because when a documentarian goes out of their way to show one side of the story more than the other, even if I agree with that side, it feels like I'm being told what to think, and strangely enough, I don't care for that. Capturing the Friedmans worked because it was evenhanded almost to a fault, and after it was over, I felt compelled to read up on the case even further and it allowed me to be more accepting of new information than if the film had chosen to go in only one direction.

Of course, what I call "Evenhanded", some would call "A glaring lack of information", and the filmakers have addressed that on a short included in the DVD (I watched it on cable, so no short for me), that elucidates the events of the case even further (and from what I've read about it, it jibes with my opinion of what most likely happened). I'm loathe to say anything more about the film or the events, because if you decide to watch it-and you should-I don't want to give anyone any preconceived notions before they go into it. Just, go get it, open your mind, and absorb the information you're given. Then, let the pieces fall into place.

Edumacashun Time

I was going to post a full length motiooooon pictuuuuuure like I do every saturday, but I just wasn't feeling it today. I hunted Google Video for quite awhile, looking for something interesting, and nothing really grabbed my attention, so I gave up.

I know what you all are thinking:"If you're not posting a movie, what in hell are you going on about, you jackass?" Well, in the first place-don't be calling me a jackass, mkay? In the second place, I AM posting a movie....Kind of.

After I gave up the quest for a movie, I ended up watching a bunch of those educational shorts from the 50s, 60s, and 70s. I stumbled upon a couple of those super-fabulous VD films that were so prevalent back in the day. Well, I don't know about you, but when I think "VD" I automatically think of my 8th grade history teacher....


Um, perhaps I should elaborate on that a tad further.


My 8th grade history teacher, (who, for the purposes of this discussion will henceforth be reffered to as 'Coach Stevens') was a pretty cool cat, if not the most effective of educators. I honestly wasn't taught anything in his class that I still remember. What I DO remember about his class, is that he always let us watch films, movies and tv shows. I realize that most teachers resort to an educational film every now and again, but that's just it: the majority of things that we watched in Coach Stevens class HAD no value, and it wasn't "every now and again" it was ALL THE TIME. You think I'm kidding, or I'm embelishing the truth a little bit, don't you? OK, let me put my hand on a metaphorical bible, and swear to you, that the very first episode of Married:With Children that I ever watched, I saw in Coach Stevens class-I shit you not-and it also wasn't the last episode I watched in there, either.

As for the actual full-length movies, I can't remember all of them, but off the top of my head, I remember at least 2 of the Indiana Jones movies (that could be considered somewhat historical, if you're really, really reaching), Stand By Me, and that piece of Kevin Costner crapola, Field of Dreams. Much as I hate FoD, it does have a scintilla of academic value (the whole Black Sox scandal), but if you can attach any sort of scholastic merit to SBM, which I loved, you have something seriously wrong with you.

There was one film, out of the many that we watched in Coach Stevens class, that holds a special place in my memory. You see, Coach Stevens also taught a high school health class, and naturally, they had occasion to watch some of those VD films. Out of all the films that he undoubtedly showed the health class, this was the only one we got to watch in 8th grade history.

What makes this VD film so special? So unique? Well, it's an ANIMATED educational film about venereal disease from DISNEY. I remember our class of 14 year olds, howling like chimpanzees at the absurdity that was displayed before us. The only thing I can think of that even comes close to how surreal this whole thing is, are the VD puppets from Chapelle's Show. It is an absolute good.

Watch it, and send out a vibe of thanks to Coach Stevens, who, incidentally, is still teaching-you can sleep better at night knowing that.

Sleek Turkey Body

I snuck away from my family just so I could make a post. That's the only reason, of course. It's not like my family is driving me insane and if I didn't get away from them, I would end up on the water tower across the street with a high-powered rifle by the end of the day-crazy talk. Yah, so, enjoy this here thing-a-ma-bob, and I'm gonna go hide under the covers.

Happy Thanksgiving

I decided to go ahead and post a bit earlier than I intended. For one thing, I probably won't be up very late tonight, and tomorrow morning, I'm going to be a little busy. I'll be alternately helping prep the meal, wrangling my child, watching the parade on the talking picture box, and bracing myself for the arrival of my sister and her sons (and most likely, her 2 teeny, tiny dogs)-no time for makey posty.

I'm not too keen on what Thanksgiving stands for, but I'm always willing to put my beliefs aside for some of my mom's turkey and dressing (I like to smoosh it together with cranberry sauce). Plus, I DO think it's a good idea to ponder (once a year, at least) the things that I'm grateful for, because on any other day, I'm too busy bitching about the things that I hate and consider a burden. The thing is, though, I don't know if I could come up with even 3 things I'm thankful for. Let's see.

1. My family, however insane and extremely annoying they can be, they're good people and I love them, and they love me (Yes, Harper is included in that statement-she can be more insane and more annoying than ANYONE, God bless her)

2. My friends. Actually, the same thing that I said about my family also applies to my friends (Yes, this also applies to you internet people, although the annoyance factor is diminished)

3. Lucidity. An odd thing to be thankful for, you say? Perhaps, but I am odd, and I am very happy being wide awake and fully aware of my suuroundings. S'nice.

Wow, I did manage to think of three things. Of course, on the flipside, there's something for me to bitch about this year: Midnight Express is not on tomorrow. I know, that seems to be a rather random thing to complain about, but I have watched that movie every year on Thanksgiving for the last 4 years, each year, it has been on television (why? hell, I don't know). I don't know why I care, frankly-I didn't like it that much. I guess the main reason I watched it, was because I was baffled that there was some program director out there that thought this was the perfect Thanksgiving tale (maybe it's allegorical: Family=Turkish prison, triptophans=hashish?). At any rate, now I gotta find a new tradition. I did some searching on the digital cable guide, and 3 movies popped out at me:

Babe.

Jaws.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Of those three films, I have two of them on DVD and video (probably not the two you think, either), so that might end up being a factor in what I choose, plus, one of them makes me cry (that one probably is the one you think it is), and I really don't feel like crying because of a movie. I also don't feel like being any more nauseus than I have to, so that disqualifies one of them. Then there's the fact that I watch one of them on a regular basis as it is...

Ugh. I can't wait for Christmas.


(PS-I gotta add a song to this post. One of-nay, THE-bestest show in the history of ever premiered on Thanksgiving 1988 (if you don't know what in hell I'm talking about, there's a GIGANTIC hint at the very begining of this post). Radio Blog doesn't have any songs associated with the show, not even the Man or Astroman cover of the theme song. But since I can't help but think about that show when I hear this song, I'm postin' the mo fo.)

Sneaker Pimps-"Tesko Suicide"

In case you haven't guessed, I won't be posting much this week. Harper is home from school ALL this week (we only got thursday and friday off when I was a kid. Pfffft), so I'm a little busy. It's kinda nice though: last night, we watched A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (you know the one where Snoopy whips up the traditional dinner of toast, jelly beans, pretzels, and of course, popcorn), and we've been all bond-y and shit.

What I'm trying to say is, is that until monday, my posts are probably going to be few and far between. It's funny, too, because right off the top of my head I can think of three things I could ramble on about: The death of Robert Altman (go rent MASH and Vincent & Theo in his memory), Michael Richards (who needs to "Look to the cookie") and that dude that murdered his wife and her friend, got away with it, wanted to publish a book outlining how he WOULD HAVE killed them, and was told to "suck it" by Rupert Murdoch who normally has no qualms about unleashing pure garbage on the public. But I don't have time, so I won't be talking about any of those things.

I will probably post something late weds night/ early thurs morning for Thanksgiving, but if I don't, have a Happy Turkey Day, and remember: Drink apple juice, because OJ can kill you. (Yeah, it's old, but it still works.)

Who, Damien? Nothing, Just a Mischievous, Rambunctious Kid

Who's a good doggy? Whooooo's a good doggy?

Ahem. Excuse me.

So, uh, I watched The Omen remake on friday night, and I'm just now getting a chance to post about it. I don't know why I'm posting about it, just like I don't know why I watched it: I didn't like the first one, to be perfectly honest, and I loathe remakes in general, but yet, I not only watched this, I ordered it on Pay-Per-View, which means at some point, I'm going to have to pay for it. "Pay for it", in the monetary sense, not in the cosmic sense-I started paying for it cosmically as soon as the movie started.

This movie is not good.

I think everyone knows the plot, but just in case: Ambassador's wife is expecting a child. Child dies shortly after birth. Super-nice hospital replaces baby with Folger's Crystals product of Jackal/Satan union:Let's see if anyone notices!

The movie starts out with a lot of hoo-haa about 9/11, the Columbia disaster, and the Indian Ocean Tsunami, and after witnessing that display, I KNEW this movie was going to suck, the only question was, was it going to iredeemably suck, or would it suck so bad, that it ends up being good?

The cast was so-so, and at various points throughout the movie, almost everyone did some less than stellar acting (the only one who didn't suck any, was David Thewlis, as the photographer who ends up helping Mr. Ambassador find out how best to instigate a late, late, late, late, LATE term abortion). The deaths were pretty much the same as in the first movie (including my favorite: guy-impaled-by-a-spire), so nothing new and interesting there.

The main problem, is that, what was supposed to be scary, wasn't. See that hell hound in the pic above? Does he look particularly frightening to you? I wanna play ball with him, and rub his tummy-not exactly a normal response to fear. Mia Farrow, as the nanny brought in to replace the LAST nanny (you know the one I mean-she's in this one, too), and who is really, really, REALLY protective of Damien, just seemed very Mia Farrow-ish: I kept thinking that she should just adopt Damien, and she and he, and the hell hound, and all of her other 289 kids could live together in harmony, and they could quit pestering Mr. and Mrs. Ambassador. Not scary.

I'd say that the least scary thing in the entire movie, was Damien. The kid who played him, he did well enough, but as the role was written, he seemed more like a kid with some form of autism than the son of satan. He really didn't talk, or DO anything, other than just behave in an annoying manner, ie: throwing a fit on the way to church, zoning out while playing video games, ignoring his mother (If your kid ever ignores you-EVIL!), and just generally acting like a little shit. Of course, in this one, like the original, he DOES knock his mom over the second-story railing-that's a little evil, but honestly, at that point I was so thankful for ANYTHING that would shut Julia Stiles up, for even a little while, that I looked at it as an act of heroism.

To the question of "How bad does it suck?". Oh, it's pretty stanky, but if you're ever heard me wax poetic about Reefer Madness, you'd know that I enjoy films that are crappy on a grand scale: they're like high comedy to me, and I laughed quite a few times during The Omen. Plus, it's not a boring movie, which to me, at least, is the true litmus of a film's suckitude: it's what separates the "Manos: the Hands of Fate"s from the "Plan 9 From Outer Space"s-one is bad and horrendously boring, and the other is bad and FABULOUS. It's a fine line, I suppose.

So, to sum up: if you want a movie that will make you laugh your ass off, give the Omen remake a chance. If you want something scary, look elsewhere.

4 Songs

In Nomine Patris, et Filii, et Spiritus Sancti

I'm posting the saturday movie a tad early this week, because I'm gonna be too busy being lazy tomorrow. Plus, I'm a little excited that I can post this. "This" being the Boondock Saints.

I was looking for a particular clip of it on YouTube, and I saw that someone had uploaded the entire thing. Now, I have it on DVD, so I can watch it anytime I want, but it's one of my favorite movies, and I want it on my blog, so I'm a-gonna post it.

I love it: Willem Dafoe is an acting God, Sean Patrick Flannery is hot, and Norman Reedus.....Well, he seems to have a basic grasp of the english language, and overall it's just a damn fine movie.

I really don't feel like saying anything more. For one thing, I'm tired, and also, I always feel weird when I post about something I really like-I don't know why, I guess I'm afraid I'm going to blather on and expose myself as the obsessive nerd I really am. But right now, the tired is trumping the obsessive, so here endeth the post.

Harper's Bizarre

My youngin' has made two rather diverse musical discoveries this week, and it's kind of a "Good news/Bad news" situation.


The good news:




I am very, VERY pleased with this as you can imagine.

The not-so-good news:




Errrrrrr............

I like Prince. I really do, in fact if I didn't, I wouldn't have this CD. But I must say, when Harper put this on, and I realized what it was, my butt cheeks clenched together, and I had an insta-flashback to when I was the very same age as Harper.

I remember pitching a fit for my mom to buy me the Purple Rain soundtrack. She finally relented, and I listened to it almost every day. Imagine my 8 year old shock and surprise, when one day, for no reason that I knew of, she snatched it away from me and wouldn't tell me why. How was I supposed to know? I was EIGHT, for Christ's sake-I didn't know what in hell that woman was doing in that lobby with the magazine, or what kind of devices she had at her castle. I guess that was the real reason she took the tape away from me: she didn't want to have to explain it to me.

Now that I'm in the same position, I feel her pain to a degree, and thankfully, Harper seems content to only play the same song over and over again, and isn't in any hurry to explore the rest of the CD.

Whew.

Time Enough at Last

I was reading, and saw that today WOULD HAVE BEEN Burgess Meredith's 89th birthday. I'm not some huge Burgess Meredith fan, but I thought today would be the perfect time to post something that IS one of my most very favorite things in the whole entire world, and that is the Twilight Zone episode that he starred in: Time Enough at Last. The Twilight Zone was a great show, and Time Enough at Last was THE best episode they ever did. You can try to argue that point with me, but you will fail, and horribly. It's a classic episode, and an iconic one, and if you haven't seen it, I suggest you take 25 minutes or so, and watch it. You'll thank me later.

A Ray of Sunlight is Made Up of MANY Atoms!

I had a complaint about me not posting anything for ages and ages and ages (read: 2 days), so I figured I'd toss up a quickie music post. This post is also kind of celebratory, because I finished with something going on in my personal life a bit earlier than I had planned, something that I thought would NEVER be over with, and I am pretty happy about that. So, you get music, I got a huge weight lifted off of my back, and......That's pretty much it, I guess.

(If you're wondering, the post title means absolutely nothing. I just pulled a quote out of the air. Yes, it's a quote, and sadly, that is the first thing that came to my mind. I'm tired.)

Meme 2:Electric Boogaloo

After doing that little questionaire thing the other day, and bitching about it, I was poking around the interweb, and I found a movie meme. Well, since no one was telling me to do it, I found myself WANTING to do it. Besides, it's easier for me to answer movie related questions than it is to answer questions about myself-you don't need to know what I'm afraid of, but you do need to know the name of the last movie I watched: that logic makes sense in my warped mind, anyway. My only problem with doing this, is that I change my mind a lot, so I'm going to have to control myself, so that I don't go back and change things on #8-don't let me do it.

I don't know where I got this meme from, so if you recognize it, tell me who made it, and I will credit them.

Ahem.

1. Total number of movies you've seen: Are you fucking KIDDING me?

2. Total number of films you own on DVD and video: 200-300

3. Last movie you saw in the theater: Hmmm, I think Saw 2, before that, the last movie I went to see was Titanic-I laughed my ass off, too. I don't like going to the movies-too many stupid people around that feel they have to provide commentary.

4. Last film you bought: Bought 2 at the same time- Little Fish (which I have yet to watch) and the Evil Dead II Special Edition.

5. Last film you watched: You really wanna know? I watched A Christmas Story with Harper: she'd never seen it.

6.The last movie you saw that made you cry: The Chronicles of Narnia. Yes, I'm a big, giant baby-are you happy now?

7. Movie that everyone else loved that you couldn't stand: The only one that comes to mind is V for Vendetta, but "couldn't stand" is too harsh-"didn't care for" is more apt. I blame Natalie Portman.

8. Five films that you watch a lot or that mean a lot to you (in no particular order) : See, this is a tricky question. If I really love a movie, I won't watch it over and over again, because when I do that I get tired of it and don't want to watch it any more. Since it's "OR that mean a lot to you", I guess I'll list those, even though "mean a lot to you" makes it sound like it has to have some great signifigance, like I relate to it, or I had a big epiphany due to the message. Most of the movies I like don't HAVE meaning, they just exist and they entertain me. Hell, here's five movies that I liked a whole LOT-that's not too tricky:

Withnail and I. I first saw this movie when I was around 14 years old. I remember liking it ok, but at 14, I couldn't fully appreciate it and it wasn't one of my favorites. I watched it again last week. Oh. My. God. This movie is made of %110 pure awesomeness. Richard E. Grant + drunken pretentious foppishness=Perfection.

The Interview. I first saw this over 5 years ago, watched it many times since then, and I'm STILL trying to figure out whether or not the lead dude (played by my husband, Hugo) actually killed anyone or he was just faking. If you haven't seen it, watch it, and tell me if YOU think he did it, because I have no idea.

Jaws. Jaws is my comfort movie. Whenever I'm depressed, or pissed, or sick, I whip out the ol' DVD and have myself a viewing. It's not so much the plot, and it doesn't scare me (except when that head comes bobbing out from under the boat-that's a little awkward), it's mainly Robert Shaw as Quint, who is my most favorite character EVAH. He's all grizzled and weird and funny and I love the hell out of him.

Serenity. I'm not a big science fiction fan. There's a few movies that I like that would be classified as such, but I don't actively seek out movies that are defined as sf. As a matter of fact, I avoid that section of the video store like the plague. However, it's a known fact that I AM a big Joss Whedon fan, and I was a big Firefly fan before it was so unceremoniously cancelled, so therefore, it's a given that I would like this movie, even if it did make me cry like a hungry, angry baby (a couple of folks die that I was rather fond of-that's my biggest beef with Joss Whedon:he kills off almost all of his most likeable characters. Bastard.)

Ed Wood. I've said before why I liked Ed Wood, but the most important thing of all, and something I neglected to mention when I made a post about it, is that it just makes me happy. Just, HAPPY. Really. Happy.

9. If you could be any character portrayed in a movie, who would it be? Either Tura Satana in Faster Pussycat! Kill, Kill! or Rosalind Russell in Auntie Mame. Yes, I'm a bit of an odd duck-was that ever up for debate?

10. People I'm tagging: You know what? I think this time I will tag someone. Oh Jenner.........

Massive Attack-"Dissolved Girl"

Do Not Want

The holidays are closing in on us, and I don't know about you all, but when I think "holidays" I think "Jones Soda and their unholy concoctions that they foist on an unsuspecting public". Admittedly, I make some weird associations when it comes to the holiday season (Thanksgiving in particular makes me think of Midnight Express-for some strange reason, I've watched it every Thanksgiving for the past 4 years. I don't know why, but it's usually on. I also don't know why I feel compelled to watch it, but there ya go).

But back to Jones Soda. I did some research and I found out that they've released their 2006 Holiday Pack. Now, for the most part, Jones has pretty run-of-the-mill flavors, but in November (and to a lesser degree, October, when they come out with odd, but not-AS-revolting-sounding beverages like Candy Corn and Caramel Apple), they let their freak flag fly and they unleash some of the most disgusting flavors imaginable, including, this time around:

* Turkey & Gravy
* Sweet Potato
* Pea
* Dinner Roll
* Antacid

I don't know about you, but my mouth is a-waterin'. Of course, right before I vomit, my salivary glands tend to go into overdrive.

If you managed to choke down one of those tasty treats, and you need to cleanse your palette, you can try their 2006 Dessert Pack, smack full of PIE flavored sodas:

* Apple Pie
* Banana Cream Pie
* Key Lime Pie
* Cherry Pie
* Blueberry Pie

Egads. Generally, I am an avid pie supporter, but I draw the line at liquified crust-that's just wrong.

If, unlike me (and the rest of the sane people of the world), you would actually like to purchase these bottles of watered down evil, you can go Here, to the Jones Soda website. May God have mercy on your soul.

The Who

The Good Stuff

This post has 2 parts, because the first part didn't warrant it's own post. I figured I could subtly drop it in here, and no one would be too upset with me. If you are, then, tough.

1st: This Here. If anyone is wondering what I want for Christmas 2007 (and you know you are), or perhaps my birthday, 2008, this is right at the tippy-top of the list. I know I've always been a bit of a dork, but this gave me the most severe nerdgasm in recorded history, so I think I've now lost any semblance of cool that I may have ever had. But I don't care-it's love: real, nerdy, CGI enhanced love. Get it for me.

2nd: The saturday movie.

I happened to walk through the living room the other night, which is not all that rare an occurance, and there was a B-grade western from the 1930s/1940s playing on the tv. I didn't catch the name, or really notice anything about the plot, but it doesn't matter. What matters is, the man who played the stoic, sedate cowboy hero: I knew this man from somewhere. I sat down, and wracked my brain for about 10 minutes, and then it hit me. I recognized this dude, and after some checking, I found that my keen powers of observation were spot-on.



This man, this calm, collected, seemingly SOBER cowboy was.......





Ralph.

Ralph from Reefer Madness. Ralph, the manic-depressive, murderous, legally insane, fan of up-tempo piano music and perpetual toker of (apparently laced) devil weed. As you can imagine, I couldn't suspend my belief enough to buy him as a cowboy, but it gave me a good, hearty chuckle.

I took this as a sign that I HAVE to post Reefer Madness today. As I've stated before, I love Reefer Madness almost as much as I love air, water, and shelter. It is a thing of beauty, and a joy forever, and if there were a church devoted to the worship of this fine motion picture, I would be their most loyal, psychotically Tom Cruise-esque member. It's insanely overdramatic, the acting is atrocious, and it ain't too believable(HA!)-it's perfect. My only beef with Reefer Madness, is that it's not long enough. I hope and pray that one day they find some extra footage of it, and they can use it to whip up something longer than all of the Lord of the Rings movies combined-I'd sell my own mother for a copy.

If you've never seen it, shame on you. Watch it now, and save yourself from my scorn.

Happy Birthday Prico!

First of all, I want to apologize for the lack of content in this post, but A) I didn't have much time to think about it, and I wanted it up before morning, and B) I think I really DID break my toe, and I'm tired. SO, I fetched a couple of pictures of menfolk that I know you like. As for this song, I don't know if you like this PARTICULAR song, but I have a feeling that someone else will be posting Like a Prayer, so that one's out. However, this one here is by Miss Shirley Bassey, who is, in fact, very fierce.

I don't normally post to a specific person directly, but Prico, you are a very special person, extremely funny and intelligent, and the definition of a gentleman. I truly do hope you have a wonderful birthday, followed by many more.

Bowie Friday

When I went to Radio Blog Club before making this post, my intentions were to make this a 'Harper's Bizarre' post. I fetched the code for her song du jour, and I was just about to come back here. BUT, I noticed some of the other Bowie songs they had on there, and I was all "OOH, I LOVE that one!". I said that a total of four times. Yes, you're getting a grand total of FIVE David Bowie songs-the first one, which is playing ad nauseum around my house, and the other four, which I just plain want to hear. I know that I could listen to them on RBC (or on CD), and not subject anyone else to it, but where's the fun in that? I'm ALL about the fun. And the subjecting-can't forget about that part-I'm all about the fun and the subjecting.

Dammit.

I've been hit by the meme fairy, specifically, that hussy, Jessucka. I don't like answering questions about myself, not because I'm a private person, I just feel weird talking about myself (That post I made a few weeks ago, where I listed almost all of my likes, dislikes and bizarre character traits? Almost sucked the life right out of me). But, since I can't turn down a challenge, and because I consider Jess to be an okay chickie, I'm going to do this thing. I'll be bitching about it for WEEKS to come, but I'm going to do it anyway. Le sigh.

1. Things that scare me: Fundamentalist Christian conservatives.

2. People who make me laugh: April, and Harper (she's a funny kid)

3.Things I hate the most: See #1, also Diabetes. And memes, I hate memes.

4. Things I don't understand: Too many to list.

5.Things I'm doing right now: Eating a sammich, filling out this damn meme.

6.Things I want to do before I die: Finish my sammich. Oh, and I'd like to see Harper grow up and become a fabulous woman.

7.Things I can do: Hmm, I can do plenty of things, but damned if I can think of any off hand.

8. Ways to describe my personality: If you don't know me that well-Shy and/or snobby and polite, If you DO know me-sarcastic, loud, and weird.

9. Things I can't do: Many things. First thing that comes to mind-I can't draw worth a damn.

10.Things I think you should listen to: The Clash, baby! (And Zero 7, I forgot about Zero 7)

11. Things you should never listen to: Bon Jovi. Heh Heh. Oh, and stupid people-ignore them at all costs.

12.Things I'd like to learn: Everything.

13.Favorite Foods: Well, this sammich is pretty good, other than that, I really don't know. Not much of a foodie.

14.Beverages I drink regularly: Diet Sprite, sweet iced tea, water.

14a. Beverages I'm trying not to drink regularly: Nothing really. I don't drink alcohol, or coffee, so I don't have any beverage addictions.

15. Shows I watched as a kid: Oh hell. Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes, Sesame Street, Scooby Doo, Flintstones, Pink Panther, Golden Girls (I'm not kidding), M*A*S*H (I was a weird kid), Dukes of Hazzard (I didn't have a choice). I didn't really watch shows like the Smurfs, and that kind of thing, because most of the cartoons that were on when I was little were crap.

16. Persons I am tagging: I tag NO ONE. I'm anti-tagging. I'm a taggist.

Le Tigre-"TKO"

Elastica-"2:1"

The Walkmen-"We've Been Had"

I probably won't post anything else until this afternoon, so I want to use this post to make a completely hypothetical observation, that is in no way like anything that may have happened to me this morning.

If you share your home with another person, or people, and if you have any pets, and if one of your pets happens to, say, disgrace themself on your carpet, do not leave it there, and then INFORM one of the other people, that around 6 HOURS AGO, you noticed some feces on the floor. If you see any animal waste on your rug, pick it up and dispose of it properly. Do you know why such a high percentage of deaths occur in the home? Because when you don't pick up shit, YOU GET MURDERED! Ahem. Think about it, won't you? Thank you.

Goddammit.

I had a really cool saturday movie post planned. I tried working on it for an hour, tried many different tactics, and YouTube wasn't havin' none of that. I finally gave up, and I was going to post an MST3k episode, Attack of the Eye Creatures. Well, Google video doesn't HAVE AotEC anymore. When you take all this into consideration, is it any wonder that I'm just not feeling too gung ho about this post? I ended up just closing my eyes and clicking on a GV link I had saved in my favorites. I clicked it, and quickly hit the 'post to blog' and 'embed html' buttons, copied the code and then came here.

I have no fricking idea what I'm posting. I'm not being coy or mysterious-I honestly do not know. It could be something I haven't posted, it could be something I HAVE posted, or it could be something else besides a movie. I'll be as surprised as you are.

So enjoy this......Uh...Thingie.

RIP Adrienne Shelly

It's not often that the death of someone famous upsets me, but I was a huge fan of the films that Adrienne Shelly did with Hal Hartley-Trust and The Unbelievable Truth- and this makes me pretty sad, believe it or not.

NEW YORK — Adrienne Shelly, an actress best known for her roles in the Hal Hartley films Trust and The Unbelievable Truth, was found dead in her office by her husband, her agent said Thursday.
Shelly was found about 6 p.m. Wednesday. Police said Thursday night that they are awaiting autopsy results before deciding whether to investigate the case as foul play.

An autopsy was performed Thursday, but the medical examiner's office did not have a cause of death.

Shelly, who was 40, appeared as Jerry in the 2005 film Factotum with Matt Dillon. She starred as Audry Hugo in the 1989 film The Unbelievable Truth and as Maria Coughlin in the 1990 film Trust. She worked steadily during her career in film, theatre and television but later turned to writing and directing, making her directorial debut with Sudden Manhattan in 1996.

Shelly was married to Andy Ostroy and had a 3-year-old named Sophie, according to her agent of about a decade, Rachel Sheedy. Ostroy is not in the movie business. Born Adrienne Levine in Queens and raised on Long Island, Shelly lived in lower Manhattan with her family and had been focusing more lately on writing, directing and caring for her daughter, Sheedy said.

Shelly recently wrote and directed a film called Waitress, which starred Keri Russell and Nathan Fillion.

“She was so psyched about the film,” Sheedy said. “She gathered an amazing cast, and she was really happy and excited to hear back from Sundance about it.”

Globe and Mail

Harper's Bizarre

Ah hell.

I've been trying to keep this band's existence a secret from Harper, but I have failed. I knew what would happen if she heard them, and I was %100 correct.

The other night, in a fit of 90s nostalgia, I threw on If I Were a Carpenter, which is a collection of covers of Carpenters songs, done by a variety of talented, and not-so-talented artists. You see, I forgot about the presence of Shonen Knife on that CD. Harper heard their cover of On Top of the World, and she, quite frankly, lost her mind-there was bouncing off of walls, and endless hitting of the repeat button. I also made the mistake of informing her that I had MORE Shonen Knife CDs. I am a foolish, foolish woman.

Radio Blog apparently has more sense than I do, because they have no SK songs. I went to YouTube, and they had a little more to choose from, though not much. Oddly enough, what with the MASSIVE number of options I was given, I still couldn't decide between these 2, so I'm posting both-I'm a giver, I live to give.

Come See the World's 2nd Largest Crater!

Holyyyyyyyyyyyyyy.......

Hmmmm. Erm, so, well, last night, in the midst of the strongest sugar high in history, I decided to watch one last horror movie before taking a break from things scary and unseemly.

I watched Wolf Creek.

Wolf Creek follows Liz and Kristy, 2 British friends on holiday in the Australian Outback. They hook up with Ben, who is kind of a goofus ass, and they go on their merry way, road-tripping, and camping in some of the most gorgeous locales I've ever seen, on their way to Wolf Creek, home of the crater mentioned in the post title. Upon their return from seeing said crater, their car won't start, and eventually, an amiable, Crocodile Dundee-esque man named Mick comes to their aid. He says he'll tow the car to his place, fix it, and they can resume their travels.

He lies.

This is a viscious movie. For the first hour or so, nothing really happens, other than your usual twentysomething road trip shenanigans, and it lulls you into a false sense of security. However, once Liz wakes up bound and gagged, locked in a shed, things don't let up for one minute-it's just wall-to-wall torture. I'm sort of iffy on the subject of torture in horror movies. I'm more of a torment-chase-kill gal myself (in reference to FICTION, of course), and while I do not consider myself a wuss, I noticed that at one point, I was sitting wadded up in the chair, my knuckles white from clutching my knees. It's pretty gruesome stuff.

I've read several reviews for Wolf Creek-some positive, some negative-and the negative reviews always seem to have the word "Misogyny" somewhere in them. I don't know that I agree with that. Sure, the brunt of violence is reserved for the female characters, and without giving anything away, the film violates a long held rule of horror movies in terms of women. At the same time, though, you end up liking Liz and Kristy, and end up caring far more about their welfare than you do Ben, who is pretty much a useless individual, so I'm gonna vote 'no' on absolute sexism here (There is some, but no more that what you'd find in your average slasher flick).

I don't know that I liked Wolf Creek, or if I would recommend it, but it was pretty effective, scare-wise. Plus, again, the Australian landscape was really, really purty. Hell, I'd like to go one day, however I would probably avoid the crazed Outback murderers, and spend my time in Sydney, stalking Hugo Weaving, and flushing the toilet over and over again to watch the water swirl clockwise down the drain-I like to live life on the edge, don't you know?