Thursday, May 31, 2007


Every year it seems, there's a commercial that comes out that irritates me so much, that I come close to pulling an Elvis and shooting my television set. Walker, Texas Ranger reruns have a similar effect on me, but they're easily avoidable (you would think.) God, I just hate Chuck Norris, the stupid idiot. Fer Chrissakes, what made this moron go into acting? It's just painful to witness, and don't get me started on how much I hate him as a human being...

Oops, I digress.

The clear winner for 2007's (you say the year's not even half over? Shut the fuck up!) most annoyingestest commercial has to go to Starburst, and their weird little fey man. It's 30 seconds of pure hell, and it's ALWAYS ON. Every single commercial break, there it is, and it's starting to give me a rash. If you've managed to avoid it, good for you. I haven't been so lucky, and I'm a petty, angry person, so I'm posting it here, and demanding that everyone watch it.


Saturday, May 26, 2007

Happy Birthday Jenner!

A little over a year ago, I found out my parents were huge liars. Up til that time, I was under the impression that I only had a brother and sister, and that was pretty much that for me as far as siblings are concerned. Imagine my surprise when I come across Jenner, and I realize that I've got a twin sister living up in Canadia Land (and she's an older twin sister, like a whole year older-don't disrupt my momentum here.)

She's as nutty and goofy as I am, she likes MST3k as much as I do (even though she thinks Mike is better than Joel-I never said she wasn't my DERANGED twin sister), oh and we sometimes have a frightening habit of thinking and saying the same shit (due to socially accepted Jinx laws, we now owe each other upwards of 4,271 beers, give or take a few.) She's good people, and I love her to pieces.

I had planned to make something for her, but due to time constraints, I was unable to. So instead, I'm just going to post some songs for her (she's a total music whore.)

Happy Birthday Jenner!

And you know the post wouldn't be complete without 'our song':

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Happy Birthday Melissa!

One of the coolest people in the whole wide world is having a birthday today, and I'd be a complete asshole if I didn't acknowledge it (I'm only half-asshole, you see.) Melissa is smart, compassionate, funny (she thinks she's not, but she is-shhh), and has excellent taste in men (although the cosmos has decreed that she should be with a lesser man, see photo #3.) I could go on and on about her, but it would end up being all sappy, and I don't roll that way (at least not on this blog), so instead, I will now present to her (and the rest of you jokers) an episode of one of her favorite cartoons, The Venture Brothers. Happy birthday sweetie!

Part 2

Part 3

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

100 Movies, 100 Quotes, 100 Numbers

Harper's home sick, and I'm a tad bored, so I thought I'd post a little sumpin-sumpin. I saw this the other day, and me being the film nerd that I am, I got a little kick out of it. It also appeals to the massive trivia nerd in me as well (yes, I am a film and trivia nerd-shocking, eh?). Some of the films are easily identifiable (guess what they put for #11?), some not. How many can YOU name?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Rory: Do something to make me hate you!
Lorelai: Um, go Hitler?

Yesterday I was perusing the digital cable guide like I do on occasion, checking to see if there was anything on worth watching in the next few days. I get to Tuesday night, and I come across the listing for Gilmore Girls. They only had a cursory description of the episode up at that time, and the words "New. Series Finale". Well, I had already heard that this was the final episode, so I wasn't surprised, but seeing those words up on the tv screen like that made the whole thing seem so...Final. And, so, I cried. Just a little.

See, it's not something I talk about much, but I am a hardcore GG fan. I feel kind of weird about that, too. I mean, it's such a CHICK show, you know? I know that I am indeed a chick, but I generally don't cotton to the feminine programming. But unlike the massive glut of serialized, Lifetime-esque crapola choking the life out of the television, Gilmore Girls had a brain, and one hell of a heart. The dialogue was crackling and funny, fast and brilliant, and there was an obvious and deep appreciation of culture, of both the pop and intellectual variety.

At it's core, though, it was about the relationship between a mother and a daughter, and the unbreakable bond they shared. Sappy? Not really. Lorelei was a strong, smart, independent mother, a SINGLE mother (not to mention a YOUNG mother-she had Rory when she was 16), who managed to raise an equally smart, strong daughter, who also happened to be her best friend. The reason it worked, is because they didn't beat you over the head with it. You didn't know they were best friends because they SAID they were, there were no forced, sitcom-y interactions between them: they had their own lives, their own relationships, but there was a natural, obvious bond there that said "This is the most important person in my world-everyone else is secondary", but at the same time, it never veered into dysfunctional territory. It was what it was, and it was great.

Surrounding the girls, was a cast of characters comprised of the quirkiest, most benign group of oddballs in television history, which made me love the show all the more. I'm gonna miss Kirk, Taylor, Lane, Babette (Sally Struthers!), Miss Patty, Mrs. Kim, Sookie, Emily, Paris, and most of all, Luke, as though they were people I actually knew and was lucky enough to hang out with once a week. Which says something kind of sad about me if you think about it (don't think about it.)

I did manage to watch the finale earlier tonight, and I was filled with mixed emotions. I was sad because it was ending, but happy, because the episode was a shining example of everything the show was: smart, funny, bubbly and made of pure love. I'm gonna miss it.


"Michel: Well, you know what happens when you assume. Lorelai: What? Michel: I don't know. Something about a donkey. It is a stupid American phrase."

" Lorelai: How does Charlie Rose screw up your REM sleep? Luke: Because he's always got some guy on pushing a book about how everything's all going to hell, or they're going to pass a law, how everyone with a nose ring is going to get shipped off to China. Suddenly you're depressed, thinking we're all going to die and don't drink the water, there's anthrax in my bagel - and bam, there goes your REM sleep. Lorelai: Or Mel Brooks is on, and he is so funny, and you think, "What a wonderful world we live in, that there's a Mel Brooks to go to sleep to." Luke: Mel Brooks is never on Charlie Rose, and when he is on he's talking about Nazis, and then you go to sleep and you dream about Nazis and they all look like Nathan Lane, and you're creeped out for days. "

"Rory:Remind me to tell you about the time my mom wore her rhinestone penis T-shirt to dinner and Grandma had her car towed."

"Rory: Mom? Lorelai: Oh. Rory: You're happy. Lorelai: Yeah. Rory: Did you do something slutty? Lorelai: I'm not that happy."

"Rory: My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn't do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don't know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her...Thank you Mom, you are my guidepost for everything."