Friday, February 29, 2008

It's Official: I'm a Mutant

Fear me.

About 6 or 7 years ago, I managed to break one of my upper right premolars. I held off doing anything about it for a couple months, until it eroded enough that the nerve became exposed and I was praying for death. So I went to the dentist and had him yank it out. No fuss, no muss-that was the end of that, right?

Nuh uh.

This morning I felt this weird not-quite-pain where the premolar once was. I ran my tongue across it and I felt something hard. I thought maybe I had a piece of food stuck in there so I poked at it with my finger (and looked damn classy while doing so, I must say) and it didn't budge. So I go get a mirror and take a look and sure enough, there's a new got-dang tooth springing up in my 31 year-old mouth.

Before anyone says it: it wasn't a baby tooth. I did all my tooth losing and growing when I was still in elementary school. So the only other possible explanation is that I'm just a freak of nature. It's weird enough that I don't have any underarm hair (nada, nothing, not even fuzz. Not that I mind), now I've got unexpected replacement choppers forming.

Hell, maybe it's some kind of strange karmic reward. I've always gone out of my way to practice proper oral hygiene, and aside from breaking the tooth to begin with, I've never had any problems with my teeth-not one cavity (we'll just gloss over the wisdom teeth chapter of "My Adventures With Dentistry"). That's more comforting than the other explanation, which is that I've become something akin to a sideshow attraction and will soon have to start hanging out with the bearded lady (mom?) and the beloved Bat Boy.

Actually, that would be a pretty sweet deal, so I guess I win either way.

Saturday, February 23, 2008

Filmed in Glorious Sphinctervision

I thought about posting a movie today like I used to, but I couldn't find one that suited my mood. Instead, I'm just posting an old music video.

I'd say something about it, but I'm too flabbergasted to come up with a description. All I can say is it would take some cheese of epic proportions to replace The Shatner's spectacular(ly bad) cover of Rocket Man in my heart. This doesn't quite cut it, but I'd say Telly has come closer than anyone ever will.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

This Man is Wearing a Push-up Bra. Now he is Pleasing

Today is the 48th birthday of Joel Hodgson, creator and original host of MST3k. In the interest of full disclosure, when I was in my late teens, I would have gladly offered him my hand in marriage had the opportunity arisen.

In honor of this day, I've made a top 5 list of my favorite Joel episodes of MST3k (difficulty: no Manos) and I'm including one of my favorite shorts.

1. Eegah!
2. The Amazing Colossal Man (The episode that broke my MST3k cherry, as it were.)
3. Mitchell (Joel's last episode as host, and the only episode that ever made me cry.)
4. Attack of the Eye Creatures
5. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster

Sunday, February 10, 2008

Sunday Music Dump

I feel blechy and I don't feel like deciding what songs to post. Plus, the site I usually use is all wiggy lately and I don't wanna do battle with it. But if you want some music, feel free to use This. To paraphrase a televison ad from my youth: You do all the work so I don't have to.

Friday, February 08, 2008

Stress, Strife and Stupidity

I haven't posted in awhile and since my absence has been noted by at least one person, I figured an explanation was in order (that, and I want to purge my brain a little.)

I don't feel like going into the exact details of everything that's gone on in the last few weeks, so here's the basic info about the big offenders:

My nephew. He's been living with us (me, Harper and my parents) full-time since the day before Thanksgiving. He and his mom had a falling-out due to his behavior so my mom told him he could stay here. Well, his behavior has gotten worse since then and he and I had a scuffle last friday. We're getting along ok now, but his attitude and the things that have happened due to that have caused a great deal of unease in the house. Which leads me to...

My parents. My mom has pretty much had enough of my nephew, but she doesn't quite know what to do about it. She knows that there's only a couple of things she can do to get him to straighten up, but they're the hard choices. She's been put in that position before by other people (including me) and when it came down to it, she was capable of doing the whole 'tough love' bit and it worked each time. But the thing about tough love, is it's just as tough on the person doing the loving as it is on the victim, er, recipient. So for now, she's not doing anything, and her nerves are shot because of it which is making her moody as hell, WHICH in turn, is making everyone around her (except my nephew, of course) miserable.

Add to that, my dad retired right before Christmas and he's kinda got ants in the pants about it. He's not used to not working and being home and being forced to endure all the drama has him pretty fed up. So he and my mom are tense with each other, and I get to listen to her wondering why he's so distant and cranky lately. The mind boggles, mom.

My precious pets. Pepper went in heat 2 weeks ago and last week, she was in full-on whore mode. Patches, my boy, my little sweet baby, couldn't handle it. He whined and sniffed and humped and finally he managed to seal the deal. Repeatedly. So in a few months, I may be the proud owner (briefly-I can't keep them) of even more dogs. On a related note, he has an appointment with the vet on Monday morning...

Then there's Harper. Things are rough for her lately. Her best friend decided her didn't want to be friends with her at all anymore, and he made it known in the snottiest, meanest way possible. Then she had an appointment with her psychiatrist last week and he switched her medication. It hasn't started to fully work yet, and she's gotten marks against her in her school folder every day this week. On top of that, I had to call the school nurse to tell her about the change in meds and I swear to god, a more priggish, condescending woman you will never meet. I think my biggest pet peeve is people telling me shit that I already know and acting like they just laid some capital-K Knowledge on me and in that conversation she did it ten times over.

That's not even half of everything, that's just all I'm willing to talk about here. All I can say about the rest of it, is that the words "Bipolar disorder", "Community Service" and "Homeschooling" are involved. They aren't assigned to just one person, I just say it to give you a general idea of what I refuse to come out and say directly.

So I have to deal with all of this. Everyone else has their own drama going on, so I don't get to talk about it (minus those of you that know the whole story-my friends who live in the internets have been great). Plus, I'm one of those people who other people like to tell their problems to and the thing about people like us, is that we're not supposed to have issues. We're not supposed to have our own drama to deal with. We're not supposed to vent or bitch, we're there to listen to THEM and if we're stressed we're just supposed to suck it up and deal. Fuck that noise, goddammit. I'm tense as hell and I'm ready to climb the water tower across the street and start picking people off. 'Course, I don't have a gun, so I'd probably just end up chucking peanuts at passing cars or something.

So....For those of you wondering why I haven't been posting, now you know.