Miscellaneous Crapola

Oh HAI! Um...

Forgive me Blogger, it's been eleven days since my last confession post. It's been one of those weeks, you know?

Last Saturday the school had their Fall Festival (AKA "The Artist Formerly Known As the Halloween Carnival Before Some Bitty Apparently Pitched a Fit and They Had to Change it" or TAFKatHCBSBAPaFaTHtCi for short. Or not.) My original intentions were for Harper to go as zombie Marie Antoinette, but there was a change of plans when she decided she didn't want to be the corpsified Dauphine of France, she just wanted to be the regular non-undead Dauphine. Behold:




I still say my way would have been way cooler.

So there was that, some other stuff, I got pneumonia and Harper had her 10th(!) birthday on Weds. We got her that Biscuit dog, the animatronic thingamadoodad. Harper loves it and while I was looking forward to some HI-Larious reactions from the dogs, they failed me. Honestly, this was the best I got:



Thanks Maggie, at least you tried.

That's about it I guess. Well, bye!

Oy.

Alright, yeah, I have TEH pneumonia. It's not too bad. I'm not even sure that's what it is, but I have had it before and both times it felt exactly like this. I've felt pretty crappy for a week now, and then today I woke up and it felt like Fat Bastard was sitting on my chest. I'm still debating over what I should do about it and my options are kinda limited. I'd go to the doctor, but my lack of insurance is kind of a hindrance. So it goes.

On the upside, if I don't croak before nightfall, I will be enjoying a quiet Halloween at home. I got candy for the little trick or treaters AND-this is the best part-there's a Herschell Gordon Lewis Double Feature on TCM late fri/early sat. My intentions are to get whacked out on Nyquil and have a grand, gory time. If I gotta croak, I'm gonna do it my way. And if I don't happen to expire, I'll try post about the movies some time this weekend. WHOOP!

Cough...

Kidding. I can barely tell I'm sick at all, it's more like a little tickle than anything.

Happy Halloween, children!

Cough, Cough...

Rutting Netflix

I'm in a weird area of my life right now. On the plus side, Harper is doing well, my mom is recovering nicely from surgery and my neighbors-THOSE neighbors-are moving as I type this. On the downside, due to my mom's surgery, the fact that my nephew still hasn't moved out and my dad becoming the laziest man alive since he retired, I have oodles of household responsibilities now. Which is to say I have to do EVERYTHING in the house.

They leave their trash everywhere, and I have to pick it up and take it out. Their laundry, I do it, in addition to mine and Harper's. I have to tend to the pets, all ELEVEN of them. Clean the kitchen, do the floors, scrub the funk out of the toilet, dust, listen to everyone bitch and moan and stand by and watch as my spoiled nephew reduces our front yard to something out of Tobacco Road. It's not so much the chore-type stuff, it's the little things. If you finish off an entire can of Pringles, throw the fucking can in the fucking trash. Is it THAT hard? Really? Jesus Christ. It's legally my house now, but when that happened, I didn't realize that meant everyone else here would suddenly not give a shit anymore. Mercy.

As a reward for my endless work, I've managed to acquire a new bedspread (This here) and a badly needed new pair of sneakers (Them there). They're nice and all, but somehow they don't quite alleviate all of my stress.

Used to, when I reached my breaking point, I'd watch a movie and it would make me feel better. But lately I've come to realize that I'm in a film rut. I get all these movies from Netflix and half the time I send them back unwatched. The other half, I do watch them and can't even pay attention. The last movie I watched and thoroughly enjoyed, believe it or not, was Enchanted. And that was only because Harper was watching it in my room, otherwise I wouldn't have made it through it. Honestly, aside from that I don't think I've watched an entire movie in months. I still watch TV, mainly Scrubs reruns and my recent obsession, Corner Gas (Goddamn you.)

As much as I enjoy those shows, not to mention an endless supply of cartoons, I miss watching movies. This is where YOU people come in.

I need recommendations. I don't care the genre (except love stories-that's a big DO NOT WANT there), just any movies you guys like a lot. One thing though, I don't want any shitty movies. I like schlock as much as the next nerd, but what I'm looking for is a movie that will rock my face off.

Translation: I don't want 'good-bad' I want 'good-GOOD'.

I don't think I've ever asked for this kind of advice on here before, so just be sports and indulge me. I'll even sweeten the deal for you: if I pick your recommendation and I like it, I'll give you something. I don't know what, but I'll do my best to make it something tangible. That's only if I like it, though; if it sucks, I'll hunt you down like a dog and make you watch David Hassellhoff's "Hooked on a Feeling" video until your eyes bleed.

Get cracking and don't let me down, people.

Gogol Bordello-'Start Wearing Purple'

This is stuck in my head hence, I'm posting it.

I'll try to get back to posting semi-regularly soon. Things are rather hectic for me right now, to put it mildly. Puppies, Harper's sick and my mom is having surgery tomorrow.

The good times are killing me.

It's Official: I'm a Mutant

Fear me.

About 6 or 7 years ago, I managed to break one of my upper right premolars. I held off doing anything about it for a couple months, until it eroded enough that the nerve became exposed and I was praying for death. So I went to the dentist and had him yank it out. No fuss, no muss-that was the end of that, right?

Nuh uh.

This morning I felt this weird not-quite-pain where the premolar once was. I ran my tongue across it and I felt something hard. I thought maybe I had a piece of food stuck in there so I poked at it with my finger (and looked damn classy while doing so, I must say) and it didn't budge. So I go get a mirror and take a look and sure enough, there's a new got-dang tooth springing up in my 31 year-old mouth.

Before anyone says it: it wasn't a baby tooth. I did all my tooth losing and growing when I was still in elementary school. So the only other possible explanation is that I'm just a freak of nature. It's weird enough that I don't have any underarm hair (nada, nothing, not even fuzz. Not that I mind), now I've got unexpected replacement choppers forming.

Hell, maybe it's some kind of strange karmic reward. I've always gone out of my way to practice proper oral hygiene, and aside from breaking the tooth to begin with, I've never had any problems with my teeth-not one cavity (we'll just gloss over the wisdom teeth chapter of "My Adventures With Dentistry"). That's more comforting than the other explanation, which is that I've become something akin to a sideshow attraction and will soon have to start hanging out with the bearded lady (mom?) and the beloved Bat Boy.

Actually, that would be a pretty sweet deal, so I guess I win either way.

Stress, Strife and Stupidity

I haven't posted in awhile and since my absence has been noted by at least one person, I figured an explanation was in order (that, and I want to purge my brain a little.)

I don't feel like going into the exact details of everything that's gone on in the last few weeks, so here's the basic info about the big offenders:

My nephew. He's been living with us (me, Harper and my parents) full-time since the day before Thanksgiving. He and his mom had a falling-out due to his behavior so my mom told him he could stay here. Well, his behavior has gotten worse since then and he and I had a scuffle last friday. We're getting along ok now, but his attitude and the things that have happened due to that have caused a great deal of unease in the house. Which leads me to...

My parents. My mom has pretty much had enough of my nephew, but she doesn't quite know what to do about it. She knows that there's only a couple of things she can do to get him to straighten up, but they're the hard choices. She's been put in that position before by other people (including me) and when it came down to it, she was capable of doing the whole 'tough love' bit and it worked each time. But the thing about tough love, is it's just as tough on the person doing the loving as it is on the victim, er, recipient. So for now, she's not doing anything, and her nerves are shot because of it which is making her moody as hell, WHICH in turn, is making everyone around her (except my nephew, of course) miserable.

Add to that, my dad retired right before Christmas and he's kinda got ants in the pants about it. He's not used to not working and being home and being forced to endure all the drama has him pretty fed up. So he and my mom are tense with each other, and I get to listen to her wondering why he's so distant and cranky lately. The mind boggles, mom.

My precious pets. Pepper went in heat 2 weeks ago and last week, she was in full-on whore mode. Patches, my boy, my little sweet baby, couldn't handle it. He whined and sniffed and humped and finally he managed to seal the deal. Repeatedly. So in a few months, I may be the proud owner (briefly-I can't keep them) of even more dogs. On a related note, he has an appointment with the vet on Monday morning...

Then there's Harper. Things are rough for her lately. Her best friend decided her didn't want to be friends with her at all anymore, and he made it known in the snottiest, meanest way possible. Then she had an appointment with her psychiatrist last week and he switched her medication. It hasn't started to fully work yet, and she's gotten marks against her in her school folder every day this week. On top of that, I had to call the school nurse to tell her about the change in meds and I swear to god, a more priggish, condescending woman you will never meet. I think my biggest pet peeve is people telling me shit that I already know and acting like they just laid some capital-K Knowledge on me and in that conversation she did it ten times over.

That's not even half of everything, that's just all I'm willing to talk about here. All I can say about the rest of it, is that the words "Bipolar disorder", "Community Service" and "Homeschooling" are involved. They aren't assigned to just one person, I just say it to give you a general idea of what I refuse to come out and say directly.

So I have to deal with all of this. Everyone else has their own drama going on, so I don't get to talk about it (minus those of you that know the whole story-my friends who live in the internets have been great). Plus, I'm one of those people who other people like to tell their problems to and the thing about people like us, is that we're not supposed to have issues. We're not supposed to have our own drama to deal with. We're not supposed to vent or bitch, we're there to listen to THEM and if we're stressed we're just supposed to suck it up and deal. Fuck that noise, goddammit. I'm tense as hell and I'm ready to climb the water tower across the street and start picking people off. 'Course, I don't have a gun, so I'd probably just end up chucking peanuts at passing cars or something.

So....For those of you wondering why I haven't been posting, now you know.

Happy Fun Time Music Post

I'm in a pretty good mood today. I haven't had to go anywhere or do anything all day, Harper's been at a friend's house for the past hour, and the house is so quiet. Plus, I noticed that Reefer Madness is going to be on tv later today, and I FINALLY got my filthy mitts on some of This (it's pretty good, but I keep having to suppress an urge to lick the outside of the container. I do love that man.)

Oh yeah, and we're going to get another dog. Don't know what kind yet-only that we want a smallish/mediumish sized pup-so if you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments (or you could send them telepathically. Just not between 5 and 6-that's Jamie's time.)

I'd make a more substantial post, but I'm going to enjoy my sure-to-be fleeting good mood, watch the greatest bad movie in history, and make out with my ice cream, so you're only getting music today. Hey, I didn't have to post anything, so don't be a-bitchin' about it.

The Burly Post

I was sitting here this afternoon, and I got the urge to post something. The only problem is, I can't think of anything to post about. Why is this? Well, one reason is because I've had a killer case of insomnia this week, and it's making me miserable. I'll be up until like 2am, watching tv, playing a video game, reading, what have you, and I'll FINALLY start to get really sleepy. I take that as my cue to go to bed, and I just end up laying there with my eyes wide open, unable to get comfortable. Wonderful.

Another reason is because I'm a bit stressed. I've had some dealings with Mr. Stress this year, so it's not new exactly, but there's a pretty straightforward reason for it this time: my dad is having surgery tommorrow. Nothing major, just routine hernia surgery. But I've always been one of those worst-case-scenario types, so anything that could conceivably go wrong, I can assure you, I've thought of it.

But yet I still want to get something up here, yet I can't think of anything to say. I've become Barton Fink, only my hair is better. At any rate, I think I've come up with something. After much deliberation, I've decided to blatantly rip off another website, in this case, Superdickery, which consists of unintentionally dirty comic book panels and covers. I'm immature and they make me laugh, plus they pretty much speak for themselves, so I don't have to say anything, which, now that I think about it, I actually DID end up saying something, so this post has pretty much negated itself.

Huh, how about that?

So Long, Farewell, Auf Wiedersehen, Goodbye

I have decided, after mucho consideration, to take a wee break from this blog. Not a long break, but just, I need to be away from the self-imposed responsibility of posting for a little while. I've got too much going on now, and twice as much on my mind, and I'm just not able to give TDYL much attention now. I'm not closing up shop, I promise. I will return at some point, in the not too distant future, because I've grown rather fond of this little blog.

It'll be ok, don't fret. Besides, I'm not leaving the entire internet or anything: I'll still be around, just not HERE for a little bit. You see? Don't be sad, be...Melancholy, but get over it quickly, and then segue into memories of the happy times-make it a smooth transition for yourselves. It's only temporary, and like Macarthur, I shall return...

Of course, there's also the possibility that either A) no one will notice I'm gone, or B) everyone will be glad to see me go. Yeah, whatever, I'm coming back anyway, assholes, and you can go right to hell if you don't like it. However, if that's not the case, disregard my outburst. Cheers.

Isobel Campbell & Mark Lanegan-"Revolver"

As this is my first post-Christmas post, I thought I would take this time to point out 8 things that I learned over the holidays this year.

1. When together, my brother and father cannot go more than 5 minutes without talking about the Dallas Cowboys.

2. If I give it too much thought, a gift as innocuous and cheap as 2 boxes of chocolate covered cherries can make me cry.

3. The average adult female can only watch the Suite Life of Zack and Cody Christmas episode 4 times before lashing out at her loved ones.

4. I will constantly bitch about the fact that they show a Christmas Story non-stop on tv, but eventually, I will end up watching it at least once.

5. Every single time I watch the aforementioned film, when the Bumpass hounds swipe the turkey and Darren McGavin yells "Sons of bitches!" out the back door, I produce a sound that I am pretty sure has never been made by any other human being.

6. My mom is the most awesome person that ever lived. (I already knew that, but it bears repeating.)

7. When it is placed on your foot, the Fureal Friends Butterscotch Pony weighs about as much as a real, adult horse.

8. I don't care what anyone says, if a person wants something badly enough, an innanimate object CAN make them happy.

Subtle Plans Are Here Again

Due to various holiday plans and preparations, I'm posting the saturday movie a couple of days early. I've got a ridiculous amount of things I have to do in the next few days, and if I get five minutes to myself (highly unlikely), I want to spend it doing absolutely nothing, not fighting with Blogger.

On top of all that, I really just don't FEEL like posting. Every year, I look forward to Christmas, and then when it gets close to it, I get depressed. I don't know why, exactly; it's a fairly recent development, just in the last few years. I suppose it has something to do with becoming a mother, and having that feeling of not being able to make Christmas as happy an experience for Harper as it was for me when I was a kid. But then again, maybe I've glossed over my childhood memories to make them seem happier than they really were, I guess everyone does to a degree. There's something more than that at play, but I've never been able to put my finger on it, plus I've already been down quite a bit lately, even before the idea of another Christmas sunk in-put it all together, and I feel like pure crap.

But enough of me and my whining, on to the movie...

This is not what I was planning to post. I had a film all picked out, and for whatever reason, I changed my mind. I happened upon this one purely by accident, and when I found it, I was surprised I hadn't already thought of it. Without realizing it, watching this has become a tradition for me: for the past, say, 5 years, late Christmas Eve/Early Christmas morning, I watch it while doing some Xmas-related mom activities (you know the ones I mean...Yes, you do) and I think that this year in particular, it fits my mood more than anything else I could post in it's place: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians, Rudolph, Silent Night, Deadly Night-none of those really fit my mentality of "Depressed, yet able to laugh" (well, not so sure about SN,DN-that might produce a chuckle.)

So, what's this movie (not exactly a movie) I keep droning on about? It's Blackadder's Christmas Carol (see? Not a movie.) It's got Rowan Atkinson, Miranda Richardson, Robbie Coltrane, Stephen Fry and, oh yes, Hugh Laurie (who, despite popular belief, had a career before House); It's got your clever bastardization of Dickens; and it's got your dry and semi-tacky British humor that all the young kids seem to like these days-if that's not perfect holiday entertainment...I can't think of a clever metaphor to insert there, so I should probably end the post now.

Happy Holidays, kids.

The Richest Man in Town

While searching for a film today, I came across 2 that would be perfect for my whole "December Saturdays Christmas Extravaganza" (yes, I gave it a name...Not a very good name, but it gets the point across). My final decision on which one to post came down to practicality: next weekend, I'm probably going to be too busy to post anything, and if I'm not too busy to post, I will definitely be too busy to say much about the film, so I'd rather wait and post something that I don't have much to say in regards to. I'm not too happy about doing it this way, because the film I'm posting today is more closely associated with Christmas, and I'd rather wait and post it ON Xmas day, or at least only a few days before. But I can't.

This movie...

I have a distinct memory of the first time I actually saw this movie, even remember the exact date: December 24, 1991. At age 15, I had already become the strange hybrid of film snob and celluloid trash connisseur that I am today. In the wee hours of that Christmas eve morning, my trashy side had just finished watching Popcorn, a silly, late-80s horror flick. After it was over, at around 2am, I was still wide awake and looking for something else to watch. I was flipping through the channels, and upon seeing an ad for It's A Wonderful Life, which was about to start, I paused and a bizarre inner debate commenced.

Until that time, I had managed to avoid seeing IaWL, which was rather difficult, because at that time, you had to ACTIVELY evade it since they showed it like 10 times a day around Christmas. Everything I had heard about this movie suggested it was nothing more than treacly smaltz, and I wanted nothing to do with it. Still, I had a need to cleanse my mental pallete of the grungy aftertaste of Popcorn, and I figured this would do the trick. Besides, even at 15 I knew that no sane person can fairly judge anything without familiarizing themselves with it first, so until I actually watched it, I was exempt from criticizing it. So, I threw up my hands and said "Fuck it" (even at 15, I had a potty mouth) and prepared myself for unapologetic sappiness.

Cut to me a little over 2 hours later, laying on my bed and sobbing into a pillow. I already knew what was going to happen even before I started watching it, I had already seen the ending long before then, and I thought I had prepared myself for the uber-happiness I was witnessing. What I HADN'T done was take everything that happened prior to the ending, into account: that damn Jimmy Stewart made me give a rat's ass about George Bailey and his effect on the people around him, the events of his life, and his eventual reward, led to me become an emotional, incoherrent, blood-shot wreck. In other words, I liked it.

If you haven't ever seen it, and have avoided it because you think it's uncool and corny, you need to be more open minded. It is corny, very much so, but as for uncool, there's a few thing you should take into consideration before you judge too harshly.

Dalton Trumbo, Dorothy Parker, and Clifford Odets all did uncredited work on the script. That's cool.

The film was labeled "subversive" by the FBI, due to it's political statements about post-WWII society and was also deemed communist propaganda because of the film's stance in reference to the common man up against big business, and Frank Capra's association with left-wing organizations. That's also cool.

The scene at the dance, when George and Mary are doing the Charleston: that guy that opens up the pool? That's the guy who played Alfalfa on the Little Rascals, and by definition, any movie that features someone who was brutally murdered is very cool...You know, if you're twisted like I am.

I realize that no one actually watches the full length films that I post: it's takes up too much time, not to mention it's a bit of a strain to watch something that's about 5x5 inches in size. I post them because it's fun, not because I expect anyone to watch them. That being said, I still don't expect anyone to watch this on the computer, but I DO recommend that if you've never seen this, that you catch it when it's on tv, or go out and rent it: Occasionally, even the most jaded among us need something to warm our hearts, and what better time is there to do that, than during the holidays?

Knew Your Father, I Did

Prepare yourselves-this is one of those posts where I go on about how I won't be posting for awhile. Like most of the other times I do this, I'll throw up some form of media to tide you over until I return-I'm good like that.

So, um, yes, I'm not going to be posting very often. I have this thing I started yesterday, and my time to do shit I want to do is all kinds of limited. I haven't gotten a new job-JOB yet, not exactly, although I AM getting paid for it, albeit very little (and the first one of you who says the word "Prostitution" is going to get stabbed through the internet). It's complicated and weird and actually very, very boring. So boring-I swear to God, my brain is going to be a worthless puddle of soup before the end of the year. More so.

I will attempt to throw up at least one post a day, although for a couple of weeks, it may not be anything more than a song or a video. I'll probably get in a couple of long-winded something-or-others up on the weekends, though, so you've got that to look forward to. Actually, it won't be much different than it is now, I guess. Huh. Forget I said anything.

PS-the thing-a-ma-bob I'm posting is an MST3k short, Mr. B Natural. It's the story of a freakish androgynous woman who stalks and harasses a little boy until he has to become institutionalized. Or takes up a musical instrument; I think the mental hospital came later, they just left it out. Watch it: It's horrifying and hilarious (and short). Plus it has Joel, who, as we all know, is 10,000,000,000,000 times better than Mike. At least all the SANE people know that.


Oh, yes I DID say that. Heh heh.

Happy Thanksgiving

I decided to go ahead and post a bit earlier than I intended. For one thing, I probably won't be up very late tonight, and tomorrow morning, I'm going to be a little busy. I'll be alternately helping prep the meal, wrangling my child, watching the parade on the talking picture box, and bracing myself for the arrival of my sister and her sons (and most likely, her 2 teeny, tiny dogs)-no time for makey posty.

I'm not too keen on what Thanksgiving stands for, but I'm always willing to put my beliefs aside for some of my mom's turkey and dressing (I like to smoosh it together with cranberry sauce). Plus, I DO think it's a good idea to ponder (once a year, at least) the things that I'm grateful for, because on any other day, I'm too busy bitching about the things that I hate and consider a burden. The thing is, though, I don't know if I could come up with even 3 things I'm thankful for. Let's see.

1. My family, however insane and extremely annoying they can be, they're good people and I love them, and they love me (Yes, Harper is included in that statement-she can be more insane and more annoying than ANYONE, God bless her)

2. My friends. Actually, the same thing that I said about my family also applies to my friends (Yes, this also applies to you internet people, although the annoyance factor is diminished)

3. Lucidity. An odd thing to be thankful for, you say? Perhaps, but I am odd, and I am very happy being wide awake and fully aware of my suuroundings. S'nice.

Wow, I did manage to think of three things. Of course, on the flipside, there's something for me to bitch about this year: Midnight Express is not on tomorrow. I know, that seems to be a rather random thing to complain about, but I have watched that movie every year on Thanksgiving for the last 4 years, each year, it has been on television (why? hell, I don't know). I don't know why I care, frankly-I didn't like it that much. I guess the main reason I watched it, was because I was baffled that there was some program director out there that thought this was the perfect Thanksgiving tale (maybe it's allegorical: Family=Turkish prison, triptophans=hashish?). At any rate, now I gotta find a new tradition. I did some searching on the digital cable guide, and 3 movies popped out at me:

Babe.

Jaws.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre.

Of those three films, I have two of them on DVD and video (probably not the two you think, either), so that might end up being a factor in what I choose, plus, one of them makes me cry (that one probably is the one you think it is), and I really don't feel like crying because of a movie. I also don't feel like being any more nauseus than I have to, so that disqualifies one of them. Then there's the fact that I watch one of them on a regular basis as it is...

Ugh. I can't wait for Christmas.


(PS-I gotta add a song to this post. One of-nay, THE-bestest show in the history of ever premiered on Thanksgiving 1988 (if you don't know what in hell I'm talking about, there's a GIGANTIC hint at the very begining of this post). Radio Blog doesn't have any songs associated with the show, not even the Man or Astroman cover of the theme song. But since I can't help but think about that show when I hear this song, I'm postin' the mo fo.)

Dammit.

I've been hit by the meme fairy, specifically, that hussy, Jessucka. I don't like answering questions about myself, not because I'm a private person, I just feel weird talking about myself (That post I made a few weeks ago, where I listed almost all of my likes, dislikes and bizarre character traits? Almost sucked the life right out of me). But, since I can't turn down a challenge, and because I consider Jess to be an okay chickie, I'm going to do this thing. I'll be bitching about it for WEEKS to come, but I'm going to do it anyway. Le sigh.

1. Things that scare me: Fundamentalist Christian conservatives.

2. People who make me laugh: April, and Harper (she's a funny kid)

3.Things I hate the most: See #1, also Diabetes. And memes, I hate memes.

4. Things I don't understand: Too many to list.

5.Things I'm doing right now: Eating a sammich, filling out this damn meme.

6.Things I want to do before I die: Finish my sammich. Oh, and I'd like to see Harper grow up and become a fabulous woman.

7.Things I can do: Hmm, I can do plenty of things, but damned if I can think of any off hand.

8. Ways to describe my personality: If you don't know me that well-Shy and/or snobby and polite, If you DO know me-sarcastic, loud, and weird.

9. Things I can't do: Many things. First thing that comes to mind-I can't draw worth a damn.

10.Things I think you should listen to: The Clash, baby! (And Zero 7, I forgot about Zero 7)

11. Things you should never listen to: Bon Jovi. Heh Heh. Oh, and stupid people-ignore them at all costs.

12.Things I'd like to learn: Everything.

13.Favorite Foods: Well, this sammich is pretty good, other than that, I really don't know. Not much of a foodie.

14.Beverages I drink regularly: Diet Sprite, sweet iced tea, water.

14a. Beverages I'm trying not to drink regularly: Nothing really. I don't drink alcohol, or coffee, so I don't have any beverage addictions.

15. Shows I watched as a kid: Oh hell. Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes, Sesame Street, Scooby Doo, Flintstones, Pink Panther, Golden Girls (I'm not kidding), M*A*S*H (I was a weird kid), Dukes of Hazzard (I didn't have a choice). I didn't really watch shows like the Smurfs, and that kind of thing, because most of the cartoons that were on when I was little were crap.

16. Persons I am tagging: I tag NO ONE. I'm anti-tagging. I'm a taggist.

Blah.

Okay, I typed out about 4 different versions of this post and I deleted all of them. Here's the gist of it:

I had an awful, stinky, crappy, altogether lousy day yesterday, and it seems to be overflowing into today as well. I've got some issues-well, just one really-that I'm trying to sort through in my head, and it's impossible for me to formulate any kind of interesting/funny/clever/boring/ post. I'm going back to bed right now, and maybe I'll feel better later today. If not, I won't be posting anything until tomorrow, so I figured the least I could do was make a little filler post, just to scoot Elmer Fudd a bit further down the page.

Since the idea of making a post that talks about how I won't be posting anything seems a little strange to me, I'm adding a little music to it. These 2 songs have absolutely nothing in common, except that they're my most favorite songs in the world. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy if you don't want to-I'm not going to force you to like these songs just because I do; I'm not an egomaniacal monster. Ok, I AM, but still......

Me, Defined

I happened to glance at the 'about me' profile on my blog, and I figured that since my daughter has a birthday coming up in a few weeks, I'd change it. The trouble is, what should I say? I started on it, and each time I finished with it, it either looked too impersonal, or it was too long. I finally ended up deciding that when she does have her birthday, I'd just switch the '7' to an '8' and be done with it.

I also got to thinking about the fact that when I post, I hardly ever post anything about myself. You can pick up a few tidbits here and there, but for the most part, I come off as detached and guarded, which, granted, I sometimes can be. So, I thought, why don't I just lay myself out bare in a post? Mind you, you won't find any earth-shattering information here, like how old I was when I lost my virginity, or a heartfelt admission about my $1,000-a-day cocaine habit (not really), this is mostly just basic superficial info that one would pick up about me if they were around me on a daily basis. Some of this stuff you already know if you've read this blog for a while, some of it's stuff that only a handful of people know about, and mostly, I'm just typing stuff down as it comes to me, so if I don't say something in particular, it's not because I'm hiding some big secret-I just forgot, or it doesn't matter (not that ANY of this matters, but whatever). Also, there's no order to it-it's basically just a random jumble of things. And don't expect to find anything funny or heartwarming-these are just the facts.

I am a single mother-my daughter is my world. As I type this, I am currently without a job (thinking of making some big changes in regards to vocation). I have three pets-2 dogs, and a rabbit. I smoke-too much. I have a half-sister and a half-brother-I'm the youngest. My parents are still married to each other. I'm related to Doc Holliday on my dad's side of the family. I'm left handed. I like the color blue. I use humor alot, I also tend to be sarcastic-it's a defense, I suppose. If I could, I'd sleep during the day, and be up at night-I feel unnatural sleeping during the normal hours. I don't like to go out-I'm not a social person by nature. When I laugh, I bray like a jackass-very loudly too. I'm shy, and it sometimes comes off as snobbiness. I never learned how to ride a bike. Also, I can't skate. I don't drink alcohol. I know how to juggle. I'm double-jointed. I'm a bit of a nerd, and I have no problem with it. I like lists, any kind, really-I'm always jotting down some random grouping of things. I like showers over baths-I've never liked sitting in a stew of my own filth. I like cereal-I even eat it for dinner some days. My favorite season is winter. I feel sick to my stomach when I enter a school-I don't know why. I'm a democrat-sort of middle-of-the-road, I guess. I hate emptying the dishwasher. My most prized possession is a trophy my maternal grandmother won in a beauty contest in 1932, that's bent because she hit her date over the head with it. I say the word "Goddammit" too much. I like diet Sprite-it tastes clean. I still miss my dog, Gypsy, that died 4 years ago. I still like to color. I own too many pairs of sunglasses. I'm afraid of clowns and ventriliquist dummies. I like cardinals.

Hmmmm.....

I love Mystery Science Theater 3000-Joel over Mike, I'm unyielding in that. I think Joss Whedon is a genius. I've had a huge crush on Hugo Weaving for several years. I love Zero 7. I think Kurt Vonnegut is the most brilliant mind in the history of literature. I hope the Simpsons never go off the air. I think that Plan 9 From Outer Space and Reefer Madness are 2 of the greatest stories ever told. I think that Quint in Jaws was the best character ever put on film. I hate Tom Cruise. I love Bruce Campbell. I wish Joey Ramone was still alive. I have a girl-crush on Lauren Graham. I think the Smile Time episode of Angel was the best hour of anything ever televised. Also, as far as I'm concerned, if you look up the word 'Hot' in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of James Marsters. I love watching Golden Girls and M*A*S*H reruns. My most hated film character of all time is Noah Cross from Chinatown. I prefer Brian Cox over Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. I think Dolly Parton is cool. I like the name Apple-I wish I'd thought of it before Gwyneth Paltrow did. When I'm depressed, I watch old movies-especially anything with Rosalind Russell. I hate love stories. I like horror movies. I think Wild, Wild West with Will Smith is the worst movie I've ever seen. I still get goose bumps when I see the final 5 or so minutes of the Usual Suspects. My favorite actress is Cate Blanchett. I wish Rutger Hauer was still making lots of movies. I wish Lindsay Lohan made FEWER movies. I wish Paris Hilton would just die already.

Oh, and I like jigsaw puzzles.

So, that's pretty much what you'd pick up if you read my mind. Like I said, no mind-blowing information there, but I feel better sharing those little nuggets. Now, do you see why I couldn't put all that in my profile?

Soundgarden-"Fell on Black Days"

In case you weren't able to glean it from my super-uplifting song choice, I'm in a bit of a crappy mood. No real reason for it, but I'm just feeling a tad melancholy, and to top it off, I've-somehow-hurt my back, and so I've got stanky Icy/Hot fumes wafting off of my person, and that isn't helping any. Hopefully by tomorrow, this will pass and I'll feel like posting something besides a song. Until then.....

Thus Spake...Me

Okay chillun, I succumbed to the peer pressure and did one of those audio blogger posts. For the record, there's nothing all that spectacular about it, and it contains no actual information, it was just done for the hell of it. And because I was somewhat goaded into doing it (I am SO waving my fist in the direction of Toronto right now). A couple of things to take into consideration before you give it a listen:

I HATE the sound of my voice. Always have, always will. I'm convinced I sound like a long-lost relative of Cletus the Slack-Jawed Yokel. If anyone feels the urge to make fun of my voice, know that if you do, it will send me into a deep depression, from which I shall never recover. And it will be all your fault, and I will never speak, or in this case, TYPE, to you again.

I'm not a shy person, at least, not as shy as I used to be, but I loathe talking on the telephone. The Master does not approve of such devices. It'll be dark soon...M'kay, I don't know WHAT just happened THERE. Where was I? Oh, right, I don't particularly like talking on the phone, because I don't like not being able to see who I'm talking to. It makes me uneasy. So, when I'm talking to naught but DEAD AIR, it makes me a wee bit anxious, and you can tell by all the uncomfortable "um"s and the nervous laughter.

Listen if you must, but don't come crying to me if my voice frightens any animals or small children you have in your home.

A Loss For Words

I haven't posted anything here about my daughter before. I have a variety of reasons for not doing so, mostly having to do with her privacy, which is why I probably won't ever post her photo here. I don't intend to make a habit of this, but something she said recently has been gnawing at me, and I feel this is as good a place as any to air my frustrations.
My daughter-Harper-is 7 years old, and started the 2nd grade a few weeks ago. Just a few weeks into the school year, and she's been tagged as being "weird" and is being picked on. Naturally, she is upset by this. How in hell do I handle it?
I love weirdness, hell, I'M weird. I knew it a long time ago, and accepted it and in most situations, I've learned to use it to my advantage. How do I tell this little girl, who wants nothing more than to be accepted, that she will get through this ok? That some of the greatest minds in history were thought of as weird? Everyone I've asked about this, friends and family alike, have been able to offer nothing more than the usual, "Oh, kids can be so cruel" or "Tell her to just be herself". Well, DUH, but that's not very useful, now, is it?
I'm clueless here. There's the option of telling her to change the way she acts, which goes against everything I believe in, but if it keeps her from being in tears, I will, even though there is nothing wrong with how she acts. Should I tell her to ignore it all, tell her that she doesn't need those little brats as friends? I could, and she will pretty much be cementing her status as an outcast for the rest of her school years. I got nothing here. The only thing this little girl is guilty of, is being able to think outside the box, and she's having to pay for it with her self esteem.

Pointless Post Alert!

Normally, I wouldn't post photos of men I want to do filthy things to if I had no specific reason, but it's my birthday, as some of you know. I can't go out and celebrate it today, seeing as how it's the middle of the week, so I'm just going to settle for some innocent lusting. There's nothing wrong with that, is there? Oh well, here's to birthday wishes...