Happy Fun Time Music Post

I'm in a pretty good mood today. I haven't had to go anywhere or do anything all day, Harper's been at a friend's house for the past hour, and the house is so quiet. Plus, I noticed that Reefer Madness is going to be on tv later today, and I FINALLY got my filthy mitts on some of This (it's pretty good, but I keep having to suppress an urge to lick the outside of the container. I do love that man.)

Oh yeah, and we're going to get another dog. Don't know what kind yet-only that we want a smallish/mediumish sized pup-so if you have any suggestions, leave them in the comments (or you could send them telepathically. Just not between 5 and 6-that's Jamie's time.)

I'd make a more substantial post, but I'm going to enjoy my sure-to-be fleeting good mood, watch the greatest bad movie in history, and make out with my ice cream, so you're only getting music today. Hey, I didn't have to post anything, so don't be a-bitchin' about it.

The Good Stuff

This post has 2 parts, because the first part didn't warrant it's own post. I figured I could subtly drop it in here, and no one would be too upset with me. If you are, then, tough.

1st: This Here. If anyone is wondering what I want for Christmas 2007 (and you know you are), or perhaps my birthday, 2008, this is right at the tippy-top of the list. I know I've always been a bit of a dork, but this gave me the most severe nerdgasm in recorded history, so I think I've now lost any semblance of cool that I may have ever had. But I don't care-it's love: real, nerdy, CGI enhanced love. Get it for me.

2nd: The saturday movie.

I happened to walk through the living room the other night, which is not all that rare an occurance, and there was a B-grade western from the 1930s/1940s playing on the tv. I didn't catch the name, or really notice anything about the plot, but it doesn't matter. What matters is, the man who played the stoic, sedate cowboy hero: I knew this man from somewhere. I sat down, and wracked my brain for about 10 minutes, and then it hit me. I recognized this dude, and after some checking, I found that my keen powers of observation were spot-on.



This man, this calm, collected, seemingly SOBER cowboy was.......





Ralph.

Ralph from Reefer Madness. Ralph, the manic-depressive, murderous, legally insane, fan of up-tempo piano music and perpetual toker of (apparently laced) devil weed. As you can imagine, I couldn't suspend my belief enough to buy him as a cowboy, but it gave me a good, hearty chuckle.

I took this as a sign that I HAVE to post Reefer Madness today. As I've stated before, I love Reefer Madness almost as much as I love air, water, and shelter. It is a thing of beauty, and a joy forever, and if there were a church devoted to the worship of this fine motion picture, I would be their most loyal, psychotically Tom Cruise-esque member. It's insanely overdramatic, the acting is atrocious, and it ain't too believable(HA!)-it's perfect. My only beef with Reefer Madness, is that it's not long enough. I hope and pray that one day they find some extra footage of it, and they can use it to whip up something longer than all of the Lord of the Rings movies combined-I'd sell my own mother for a copy.

If you've never seen it, shame on you. Watch it now, and save yourself from my scorn.

Double Feature Picture Show

I hit a bit of an impasse while looking for a film to post today. Allow me to explain.

I had every intention of presenting some obscure piece of dreck. I was in the mood for it, and some of the more discerning (persnickety) readers (not naming any names, but it rhymes with Ghandi) of this blog want something they don't already own.

In the middle of looking for celluloid garbage, I remembered seeing a certain film from Google posted on another site. I. Love. This. Movie. I had forgotten about it being on Google, because it's not listed among the public domain films, probably because to the best of my knowledge, it isn't IN the public domain. So, I could be breaking some kind of copyright laws by posting it, but I WANT IT ON MY BLOG. What is it? Here's a hint: "Kla-", no, that's too easy. Just watch it. (If you need another hint, all I will say is that it's a great movie, and I had it on that list of "50 movies to see before you die" I posted a couple of weeks ago. So if you haven't seen it, you should watch it in case you kick off in the next few days-you never know.)

But........Since I'm a woman of the people, I'm going to post a SECOND film, one that would seem to fit the very definition of "Garbage". Your second feature is called "Sex Madness". I have not seen this movie before, but read this:

This is a typical sex exploitation film from the early 1930s - complete with wild parties, sex out of wedlock, lesbianism, etc. A chorus girl's exposure to the "casting couch" also exposes her to syphilis.

You should also know that this was made by the same people who brought us Reefer Madness. Like I said, I haven't watched it yet, but according to my math: Lesbianism + Syphilis + The Geniuses Behind The Best Movie Ever Made= Solid Gold Entertainment.

They're Coming to Get You, Barbara

I wasn't going to post this until tomorrow, but seeing as how it's 1am here, it actually IS tomorrow, and I've got insomnia, so suck it up. As you regular readers of TDYL might be aware-all 5 of you-I posted a full-length motion picture (I like saying "motion picture". I don't know why) last saturday. While I'm almost certain that no one watched it, I got kind of a kick out of posting it, so I've decided to make this a weekly feature. Google video is just brimming with public domain films, ripe for the picking, and I feel that it is my responsibility to bring them to the less fortunate.

I had a hard time deciding just what movie to post. I pondered posting Reefer Madness, because as many of you know, I love Reefer Madness, and hope to one day wed it and have it's hysteria-prone, over-acting, bogarting, celluloid babies. But, I've already posted a link to it, way back when, and if you so choose, you can dig around and find it over in the archives.

Like last week, I'm not going to say -outright- what the movie is, but unlike last week, I'm doing 2 things. 1-This time, I've actually dropped a great big hint as to what the movie is. If you've seen it, then the clue is BLATANTLY obvious. And 2-this is actually a GOOD movie, in fact, it was pretty groundbreaking back when it came out, so you can't NOT watch it on the basis that it's a piece of crap.

Perhaps next week, I'll take requests. Isn't that gracious and agreeable of me? Yes, yes it is.

So, I'm sitting down to enjoy some television late last night, and what do I see coming out of the talking picture box?



I almost wet my pants.

If I was making a list of my favorite bad films, this could very well be #1. Reefer Madness was made in 1936, and started out as a cautionary tale entitled, " Tell Your Children", before it was purchased by exploitation genius Dwain Esper. It was then recut to give it a more naughty tone, and retitled, becoming one of the most famous pieces of film doody in history.
I'm too lazy to go into the plot, so I'm going to copy and paste it from one of the film's many fansites:

Dr Carroll (Josef Forte), a high-school principal, warns a group of parents against the dangers of marijuana. He illustrates his point by telling the story of Bill (Kenneth Craig) and Mary (Dorothy Short), two of his students whose lives were destroyed by the drug. A crime ring operated within their town, which hooked teenagers on marijuana by supplying free reefers at parties given at an apartment owned by Mae (Thelma White) and Jack (Carleton Young).These parties were attended by Ralph (Dave O'Brien), an older student attracted to Mary, and Blanche (Lillian Miles), one of the crime gang who was interested in Bill. One day Mary's younger brother, Jimmy (Warren McCullum), took Bill with him to Mae's apartment, where Blanche quickly hooked him on the drug. Jimmy went driving while high, and hit and killed a pedestrian. Bill began an affair with Blanche. Mary went to Mae's apartment looking for Jimmy, and accepted a reefer from Ralph, who then tried to seduce her. Bill came out of the bedroom, and hallucinated that Mary was stripping for Ralph. He attacked Ralph, and as the two were fighting, Jack tried to break it up by hitting Bill with the butt of his gun. The gun went off, and Mary was killed. Jack made Bill believe he had killed Mary. At Bill's trial, Dr Carroll testified that he knew all of Bill's behaviour was due to his use of marijuana. Jack and Mae kept Ralph at Mae's apartment so he wouldn't tell the police what really happened. Ralph went insane through his drug use and beat Jack to death. The police arrested Ralph, Mae and Blanche. Mae talked, and the criminal gang was rounded up. Blanche explained that Bill was innocent, and he was released. Ralph was put in an asylum. Blanche committed suicide.

Makes sense to me! This movie is SO over the top, so melodramatic, so horribly acted, that you cannot help but love it. The evil, unmarried couple who live in sin and foist the most demonic of weed on unsuspecting children....Sleep in twin beds? How do the BRILLIANT law enforcement officials dispose of the ganja after the big raid? By BURNING it, of course! I'm not a big druggie or anything, but I've taken a toke or 2 in my day (I now officially sound 100 years old), and I have never seen anyone smoke a joint(after joint, after joint) the way the people in this movie do,like this Zeppo Marxesque piano player:


Instead of "Puff, puff, pass" it's just "Puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff", and they smoke so fast too, you'd swear it was laced with speed or something. I've seen this quite a few times, and it still amazes the hell out of me, that before this became the film it is today, that the people making it were serious. I mean, come on, how many of you have known a stoner like Ralph here, aka "Faster, FASTER!"?

Dude's more like a tweaker than a 420 boy.

This was remade a few years ago, as a musical spoof with Steven Weber and Alan Cumming, and it was ok, but you can't improve on perfection. I could go on, but I'm tired and have a sudden urge to go smoke a bowl. Since I'm such a sweetie, I'm providing a link to Google Video, where you can watch the entire film in all it's public domain glory.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6696582420128930236

Watch it, and remember: