Tuesday, July 31, 2007


On the same day, no less.

Michelangelo Antonioni, the Italian director whose chilly depictions of alienation were cornerstones of international filmmaking in the 1960s, inspiring intense measures of admiration, denunciation and confusion, died on Monday at his home in Rome, Italian news media reported today. He was 94...

New York Times Obit for Antonioni

Ingmar Bergman, the master filmmaker who found bleakness and despair as well as comedy and hope in his indelible explorations of the human condition, died yesterday at his home on the island of Faro, off the Baltic coast of Sweden. He was 89.

New York Times Obit for Bergman

Wednesday, July 25, 2007


Do I dislike Beyonce? Nah, not really. Did I laugh at this? Hell. Yes.

Boum Beyonce
Uploaded by kurb35

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

An Open Letter to Val Kilmer

I'm watching a Maury "My daughter is a mean little whore" episode, and it has put me in a foul mood. The reason I say that right up front is because I'm going to pick on you a tad, and I don't normally pick on people based on their appearance. I mean, I DO, but I try to avoid doing it where people can read/hear it, but I'm pissed right now, and when I'm pissed, my sense of decorum goes right out the window.
So, I'm watching this Maury episode and farting around on the internet, and I come across a photo of you. You know, I realize that not everyone is perfect (I'm sure as hell not), and that age does things to a person: they get wrinkles, get fat, go grey, etc.

It would seem that you opted for "get fat":

I wouldn't point this out based on this photo alone, I mean, your head's turned and it could just be an unfortunate angle. BUT there's this:

And THIS (my favorite):

...To back all of it up.

Val, sweetie, you're an actor, a damn good one at that, but still, your main job is to look pretty for our entertainment. You're not one of those character actors who can get away with looking like shit (Tombstone notwithstanding-you were GREAT in that, BTW: I say that "Huckleberry" shit ALL the TIME.) Remember how you looked in Top Gun? That beach volleyball scene was something to behold, in fact I wouldn't be saying any of this if you weren't so damned hot before. I know, I know, that was 20 years ago and you're much older now, but look at Jane Fonda-the woman is 70 and she still looks fantastic. Yes, I know some of it is due to surgery, but most of what she has going on you can't get from a doctor.

You seem to spend a lot of time at the beach-go swimming. Or surfing. Get off of your increasingly fat ass and do SOMETHING besides making out with skanky chicks. If not for yourself and your health, then do it for the people who have to look at you.

Then again, in that most recent photo, you look happy, so perhaps the added poundage has diminished your unrepentant assholishness, for which you are so noted. And I guess if you can't be as hot as you once were, being a nice and decent person would be enough to make up for it. But I doubt that's the case, so lose some weight.

I guess that's all have to say, so Mazel Tov, tubby and after seeing the wetsuit photograph again I would like to add: good luck hunting down the guy who stole your bukkit.

Warmest regards...

Monday, July 16, 2007


PAGANS have pledged to perform “rain magic” to wash away cartoon character Homer Simpson who was painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.
The 17th century chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant is believed by many to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.
Many couples also believe the 180ft giant, which is carved in the hillside above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, is an aid to fertility.
A giant 180ft Homer Simpson brandishing a doughnut was painted next to the well-endowed figure today in a publicity stunt to promote The Simpsons Movie released later this month.
It has been painted with water-based biodegradable paint which will wash away as soon as it rains.
Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: “It’s very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing"...

The Sun

Friday, July 13, 2007

Ooh, Puppy!

I'm going to be busy this weekend, which is to say, I'll be sleeping, watching tv, and just generally avoiding any kind of activity whatsoever. I've gotten approximately ZIPPO sleep this week, and I need to recoup.

Anyhow, before I begin my weekend of sloth, I thought I'd post a movie, and you will be pleased as punch to know that it's a movie that was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Killer Shrews (but it's not the MST version). The plot, as near as I can figure it, has something to do with Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard and Festus from Gunsmoke fighting off medium-sized dogs who seem to be draped in bath mats. It's gold, Jerry, GOLD!

Now, Google HAS the full version, but you have to pay for it and that seems kind of silly, so I'm supplying the YouTube version, which is cut into 7 parts. I'm posting the first video, and then a link to it, where you can find the rest of the clips (if anyone actually DOES go through the trouble of watching all of it, I will be suprised.)

It's Like Alien, but Without the Underwear

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Tagger, Please

It's a fact...

I've been tagged by two people: Bonnie Blue and Alonzo Mosley, and since I'm awake, I figured I could go ahead and get this out of the way. These are the rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.

Now, I'm not going to be tagging anyone, because everyone I have internet contact with has already done it, or has been tagged by someone else. I'm not entirely sure I can come up with 8 things about myself because I've pretty much covered eveything already. But I'll give it a go...

1. I like westerns. I hated them the entire time I was growing up, then when I was in my 20s, I finally sat down and gave one a fair shot, and that was it. This is not to say that I haven't seen some crappy ones, it's just that now I won't write a film off just because it features an abundance of horses. The best western (har) I've ever seen: The Searchers

2. I used to collect candles, but I quit. Still, people buy them for me as gifts so I either use them or put them in storage where they end up melting 9 times out of 10. If your electricity goes out, come to my house: I'll hook you up.

3. I like old folks. If given the choice to be around kids, people my own age, or the elderly, I'll pick the elderly. Which is strange because...

4. When I was a kid, my mom worked at a nursing home, and I pretty much grew up there (there, and the sheriff's office:my dad was a deputy.) There was one woman, Mrs. Potts, who scared the bejesus out of me. She was a harmless oldster in hindsight, she couldn't talk and according to my mom, she used to be a teacher and loved kids. But she freaked me out. She was always coming at me with this huge, rictus-like smile on her face, saying nary a word. Usually I'd manage to flee from her clutches, but one day she was too quick for me. She grabbed my arm and proceeded to march me towards her room. I pitched the biggest FIT in the history of the known universe-screaming, crying, carrying on- which was completely out of character for me, because even as a kid, I was really polite and quiet. Fortunately, my mom swooped in and saved me from whatever horror awaited me (probably some of that hard ribbon candy. You know the kind, where you take one and the whole thing is attached to it in some mutant candy wad.) Of course I feel kind of guilty about it now, making such a huge spectacle when the old bird didn't mean me any harm. But whaddya want, I was 4.

5. Giraffes creep me out. Google Locusta the Poisoner if you want to know why.

6. I'm a pretty decent volleyball player. Haven't touched (flushed) a ball in years, but I'd be willing to wager that my serve is still perfect.

7. I've never outgrown liking really bright, garish neon colors. Same goes for anything with glitter and/or sequins. If it's neon AND glittery, it acquires 'sacred treasure' status (see: fluorescent green sparkly sunglasses I've had since the 4th grade.)

8. I can't think of anything else, so I'm just going to say that I am presently watching a rerun of Designing Women.

It's a fact!

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Sunday Music Dump-Canada Day Edition


The Boomerang channel is looking to write a new page right into history.
The Cartoon Network's retro channel filled with the animation the Boomer generation grew up with will air all 166 episodes of The Flintstones in chronological order and without commercials. It is the first time the network has run a marathon of all episodes in a series.
The holiday stunt will begin on July 4 at 6 a.m and will run until July 7 at 5 p.m. A bit of trivia: The pilot episode was called The Flagstones.
There will also be a best of the Flintstones VOD offering.
The Flintstones was the first animated prime time sitcom when it debuted in 1960 on ABC and was essentially an homage to the Honeymooners team of Jackie Gleason and Art Carney.

Broadcasting Cable