The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Awhile back, I said I was going to make a list of my favorite horror movies, and I figured if I don't do it now, there's really no point in it. Seeing as how I'm spending tonight at home, fending off trick or treaters (Harper got her's done on saturday), and have nothing else better to do, I will regale you with some of my faves.

The inclusion of a film on this list does not necessarily mean that the movie scared me-since I passed 20 years old, and have experienced the horrors of the real world, it takes a LOT to frighten me (matter of fact, I'd say that the scariest movie I've ever seen is Steel Magnolias:diabetic daughter grows up, gets married, has baby, drops dead. Well shit, LET'S WATCH IT AGAIN!). No, these are just movies that I liked for one reason or another. And they aren't in order of how much I like them, I instead opted for chronological order. Picky, picky, picky.

Nosferatu
Freaks
White Zombie
Cat People
The Bad Seed
A Bucket of Blood
Peeping Tom
The Haunting
2000 Maniacs ( I have a distinct memory of watching this with my mom when I was around 9 years old. My mom rocks.)
Repulsion
Night of the Living Dead
Don't Look Now
Black Christmas
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Trilogy of Terror
Carrie
Suspiria
Halloween
The Shining
The Evil Dead (Duh.)
The Funhouse (I don't know why, I just liked it.)
My Bloody Valentine
Christine
The Dead Zone (The image of Nicholas Campbell sliding those scissors into his mouth will be with me for the rest of my life. The rest of my LIFE.)
A Nightmare on Elm Street (This is one of those that scared the shit out of me when I first saw it. Now, it's almost quaint.)
April Fool's Day (Excellent movie, highly underrated.)
Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer (Ok, THAT one scared me.)
The Hitcher (I love Rutger Hauer, plus the movie gets bonus points, because when I watched it with one of my friends a few years back, the scene where that Howell guy spits on him and he SMELLS IT, literally made her puke.)
Bad Taste
Evil Dead II
Near Dark
The Stepfather
It
Candyman
Dead Alive
Army of Darkness
The Frighteners
Exorcist: The Version You Haven't Seen Before (Why this one and not the original? 2 words: Back Bend.)
Jeepers Creepers
28 Days Later
Shaun of the Dead

I'm gonna remember more later, I just know it, so I reserve the right to edit this list as I see fit. Obsessive compulsiveness:Now THAT'S scary.

Lamb-"Gabriel"

The Decemberists-"The Engine Driver"

The Word I'm Searching For is "Impressionnant"

I had insomnia again last night. I swear, for one week every month like clockwork, sleep eludes me, and I'm forced to turn to the televison for comfort (Teacher, mother, Secret lover). So, I'm sitting in the living room last night, pondering life's great mysteries while watching an old episode of Sister, Sister (What? SHUT UP!)and since Sister, Sister isn't exactly the best inspiration for philisophical musing, I decided I'd watch a movie. I was scanning the digital cable guide, and did you know that 2am isn't the most opportune time in the world to locate thought-provoking film? My choices were limited to soft-core porn, and what seemed to be the entire ouvre of one Lorenzo Lamas, and seeing as how I wasn't currently in the mood for either at that time (I'm NEVER in the mood for Lorenzo Lamas. EVER), I almost threw up my hands in defeat. I perservered, however, and I found a bright, and glittery diamond hidden amongst all the cinematic turds that were on display before me. (I REALLY need to work on my metaphors)

I had never seen Eyes Without a Face (Les Yeux Sans Visage) before last night, and it soundly kicked my ass and left me for dead, which was precisely what I needed. The plot, goes thusly:

A surgeon, feeling guilty over his daughter's facial disfigurement--so horrible that she wears a mask--in an accident for which he was responsible, uses his assistant to kidnap young women. He attempts, without success, to transfer their faces to his daughter.

I'm actually grasping for something to say about this film to do it the proper justice. It's not a straight-up horror movie, it's more of an arty rumination on the lengths people will go to for love (in this case, a father for his daughter), the power of guilt, and a good, old-fashioned medico God complex. That's not to say the movie didn't make me uneasy: Witness Christiane (that would be the daughter), sporting her mask:

That's downright unsettling, and I will admit that, the first time it showed her in that mask, I expressed my displeasure at the sight vocally: "YEEEEEEEEEEEEKKK!"

The main thing I carried away from this film, is the thought "Would I be capable of something like that, if I were responsible for my daughter's face looking like the BBQ platter at TGI Fridays, would I be able to kill to set things right?" Hmm, perhaps. I think the most disturbing thing in the film though, aside from Ms. Expressive up there, is an exchange between the doctor, and a man who has lost his daughter.

The morgue notifies the doctor that they have a girl, who may or may not be his daughter (he's claiming to all and sundry that she's still missing), and they also notify another father(who's daughter was killed BY the doctor, and left faceless to boot), just to cover their bases. They call the doc in first, and he says that it is, in fact, his daughter. They send the other man away, and he and the doctor cross paths outside of the building. The man asks if he's sure that it was his daughter, and the doctor says, yes, he is sure. The man, obviously distraught, can't let the subject go. The doctor says something to the effect of "I don't know why I should have to comfort you, you still have some hope", then he shoots the man a nasty look, and drives off. C-C-C-Cold-hearted. Snake. I think I could conceivably kill someone, but I couldn't say THAT.

All in all, it was a great movie, but I'm just feeling kind of inarticulate today. If you haven't ever seen Eyes Without a Face, hunt down a copy. Movie good, me like.

I need a nap.

On It's Side, It's Infinity

Harper went and turned eight years old today (HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY!), and I had planned to post the entire Spongebob movie for her. For whatever reason, I've decided against that, and have instead opted to post 2 cartoons and a tv sitcom. Harper loves these shows, watches them all the time (I, of course, am unfamiliar with all 3, since I am too mature to be drawn in by such silliness. Did anyone buy that?).

I realize that pretty much all I've posted lately is music and YouTube clips, but things have been pretty hectic around here, what with illness, not just this, but 3 other birthdays, Halloween preparations, and general drama. Once Halloween is over, I should be back to my usual posting habits. No, wait, I'm still planning to blow up Parliament on Guy Fawkes Day, so I'm booked solid til after the 5th...Erm, um, no, no, I should be back to normal after Halloween-forget about that other thing.

Ghostland Observatory-"Candy Rider"

powered by ODEO

Spooky Saturday

Y'all are getting two movies today in honor of Halloween. Isn't that cool? Yeah, jack. (you will also get one tomorrow in honor of Harper's birthday-she doesn't know what I'm gonna post. Shhh)

Your first flick is called Within the Woods. Now, it's only about 30 minutes long, so technically I'm not posting 2 whole movies, more like a movie and a short. WtW holds a special place in my heart, as it was the prototype for the Evil Dead movies. I might have said this before, but I LOVE the Evil Dead movies, and I also love Bruce Campbell and Sam Raimi. You want to bring out my raving inner geek, bring up Bruce and Sam around me-I'll go into the nerdiest, longest-winded shpiel you've ever heard. (I'm trying to contain myself right now, and let me tell ya, it's hard)

The quality of this clip isn't too clear, because it's ripped from one of the few remaining VHS copies of the original super-8 film, hence why it looks like a snuff film, so you've been warned. The copy I have here at home looks the same way (Mine's a LITTLE bit clearer, not much). Yes, I have a copy of this-did I not make myself clear earlier about worshipping E.D., Bruce and Sam??

Your second film was specially requested by Mrs. Mellberg: Carnival of Souls, as directed by Herk Harvey (I like saying 'Herk Harvey'. HERRRRRRKKKK!). I really need to watch this movie again, because I haven't seen it but once, and that was a long time ago, so therefore I can't say much about it. In fact, I'm done with this post now. What? You want me to bring down a curtain? LEAVE ME ALONE!

Ladytron-"Destroy Everything You Touch"

I'm debating posting something, but it's kind of long, and really rather pointless. While I stew in my own indecisiveness, you can listen to this. Aren't I a gracious and thoughtful blogger?

Double Bubble

Somehow, in the last few days, I managed to take time out from my busy schedule of chasing down an unwilling 7 year old and spraying her throat with Cloraseptic, to watch 2 movies, neither of which I hated like poison. Huh!

The first one was Cube Zero:



This movie was BAD. I don't mean 'bad' like, "Oooh, that dude is Baaaad", I mean bad as in 'not good' (for the record, I have never in my life uttered the sentence 'oooh that dude is bad'-I don't want anyone thinking I talk like that). It stars a cast of...Several people you've never heard of (The lead actor DID seem very familiar to me, and it wasn't until close to the end of the movie when I figured out where I knew him from. I am not going to SAY where I knew him from, because that would be an admittance that I actually watched that show, and too many people know about that already), none of whom were burdened with an overabundance of talent. The dialogue was God-awful, and the characters were all pretty one-note.

The plot, as near as I can figure it, is: there's this big building-it's a prison or something-that's shaped like a big cube, and it's got 26 separate cells. Some of these cells have deadly traps in them (which the prisoners test by flinging a boot into the room-seriously), and the prisoners go from one to the other, trying to get to the edge, or maybe the center-I really have no idea-so they can escape. There's 2 guys that watch and moniter the prisoners, and one of them decides to help the new lady-person prisoner escape so she can return to her daughter, but that means that he has to go in after her, and in effect, become a prisoner himself. Ya dig?

This movie was terrible, and I loved every bit of it. You've got THAT plot, you've got a death machine that has great, big buttons on it that read "Yes" and "No" (they employ said machine during 'exit' tests, where they ask the prisoners if they believe in God-I was howling), you've got your overdone, cartoonish villain (complete with bad-movie villain staple: the disfigurement, in this case his eye), you've got your heroine, who apparently thinks that THE performance to rip-off is Terminator 2-era Linda Hamilton, and you've got your annoying fat guy who attempts to serve as comic relief. So, so, bad. If loving this movie is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

The second movie I watched, and loved for entirely different reasons, was Ravenous:



This one is a bit tougher to explain, but I'll just rip-off the description from IMDB:

Captain John Boyd receives a promotion after defeating the enemy command in a battle of the Mexican-American War, but because the general realizes it was an act of cowardice that got him there, he is given a backhanded promotion to Fort Spencer, where he is third in command. The others at the fort are two Indians, George and his sister, Martha, who came with the place, Chaplain Toffler, Reich, the soldier; Cleaves, a drugged-up cook; and Knox, who is frequently drunk. When a Scottish stranger named Colquhoun appears and recovers from frostbite almost instantly after being bathed, he tells a story about his party leader, Ives, eating members of the party to survive. As part of their duty, they must go up to the cave where this occurred to see if any have survived. Only Martha, Knox, and Cleaves stay behind. George warns that since Colquhoun admits to eating human flesh, he must be a Windigo, a ravenous cannibalistic creature.

This movie kicks all kinds of ass. It's billed as a horror movie, but at it's core, it's a dark comedy, and dark comedies are my very reason for being. Some people might be put off by the whole cannibalism thing, but not I. Of course, I don't condone the ingesting of human flesh-that would be wrong-but in the setting of a work of fiction it doesn't bother me. Plus, it makes for some very fine morbid humor (Colquhoun/Ives waxing philisophical while eating a stew made from Knox-parts:" Ben Franklin once said 'Eat to live, don't live to eat. Hmm? Hmmmm?"). Also, I automatically love any film that has lively bluegrass music playing during a grisly murder/chase scene (the score was co-composed by Damon Albarn, God bless 'im).

All the characters in this movie are played as quirky misfits (save for Guy Pearce as Boyd-he's all broody due to the ravages of war and whatnot), my favorites being David Arquette (sure, I like David Arquette okay) as pothead cook Cleaves, and Robert Carlyle as the Charlie Manson-looking Colquhoun/Ives. As a matter of fact, all the actors do fine work here....Except for one.

I think Guy Pearce has it in him to put in a performance that isn't completely wooden (in fact, I know he can-witness The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert), but for some reason, he tends to choose roles that just don't play to his abilities. His Boyd was the film's biggest flaw, and he seems to bring down the batting average of a lot of the movies he's in. Don't get me wrong, Memento and LA Confidential (and Ravenous) were fine films, but that was almost in spite of him. I like him well enough, and he's certainly easy on the eyes, but he needs to liven it up a bit. That's all I'm sayin'. Overall though, I ♥ Ravenous, and I wouldn't be averse to watching it again some time.... If I can get time out from Cloraseptic duty. Sigh.

Oh. My. God.

When I read this, I choked on my Diet Sprite, and sprayed it all over my moniter, keyboard and lap. I wept with joy, and between the tears and Sprite, I can't be sure, but I may have even peed my pants a little bit.

Rockers the Pixies have made a dramatic U-turn and are set to begin work on their first album in 15 years early next year. The band reformed in 2004 for a lucrative world tour after splitting in 1991, when the relationship between Black Francis and Kim Deal broke down.
Earlier this year, Black said he had ditched plans to record new material because the songs he'd composed lacked the feel of authentic Pixies tracks.
But he now says, "We're rehearsing in January. I know we like playing and everyone likes touring together, so to keep doing that and not record anything is kind of like being a country fair band. We don't want to do that, so the only thing we can do is become a vital band again."

Starpulse

Am I going to post some Pixies songs to go along with this awesome story of forgiveness and maturity? Bet your ass.







EDIT: And by request, Debaser. I swear, there's just no pleasing some people.......

Anyone Else Remember Those Commercials for Dolly Madison Snack Cakes?

I'm still dealing with a sick kiddo today, and even though I did get SOME sleep, I still feel incapable of formulating a coherent post. I could say that I'm posting this for Harper, which is partly true, but mainly, I'm posting it for myself (the onset of Halloween is making me nostalgic).
I now present to you, commercial-free, "It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!"

Harper's Bizarre

I haven't gotten lazy. I realize that my last few posts have been pretty much nothing but music and video clips, but I have NOT gotten lazy. That would imply that I wasn't lazy to begin with (Ba-dum-bum!). Seriously, yesterday, I was too busy wrasslin' with the nefarious monster known as Beta Blogger to post anything more substantial (since I got Haloscan running again, and my title pic up, I now hate BB %86 less than I did yesterday). Plus, at the end of last week, I had some trouble at home: Harper got into a bit of a scuffle. No, 'scuffle' isn't the appropriate word: some 10 year old bastard bully boy next door tried to beat the snot out of her ( I'm still hating him at %120 capacity-I don't care if he is 10).

What's my excuse today? Well, Harper is at home, sick, with strep throat, AND I had absolutely NO sleep last night-none, nada. So, you combine all of that-the stress from last week, the nightmare that is BB, my sick baby, and the no sleep, and you do not get a nice picture. I'm loopy at this point. If I posted anything more than this, it would descend into mad gibberish, like repeatedly typing "No TV and no beer make Jamie something-something"-No one wants that.

I wouldn't post anything AT ALL, but Harper has recently discovered the Beatles. She heard this song for the first time the other night, and she just sat there, perfectly still, with a very serious look on her face while she listened to it. Then, she asked to hear it again. Also, with everything that's transpired in the last few days, it's almost rather fitting. So, I am posting this song, and dedicating it to my Sweetie Pea.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

Since it's sunday, and I tend to get bored on sundays, I've decided to switch my blog to Blogger Beta. What that means is, I'm going to be, well, NOT posting anything else today. I'll be too busy tweaking things, re-doing other things, and cursing Blogger when it all turns to shit and I have to throw it all away and start fresh (I am saving a back-up, BACK-UP copy of my template just in case).

As with most of my posts that don't really say anything, I'm including a little music, in this case, I'm posting 4 songs I like that have 'Black' in the title. That seems both oddly specific, and oddly random, but that's how I roll, baby.

Honorable mentions in the "Songs With 'Black' in the Title" awards go to: Fell on Black Days by Soundgarden, Black Dove by Tori Amos, Black Betty by Ram Jam, The Man in the Long Black Coat by Joan Osborne and of course, Black Boys from the hippie musical extravaganza 'Hair'.

(Update: Blogger Beta sucks ass. It doth verily suck ass, and if you're thinking of switching to it, I have one word for you: Fucking DON'T! So that's 2 words-I still got my point across.)

I. Rock.

OUT LOUD. I rock hard-harder than anyone you've ever met. I rock louder and harder than....Um, well, Pete Townsend of the Who, for example-back in the day, he rocked pretty hard. BUT NOT AS MUCH AS I ROCK RIGHT NOW! I am rocking upside down, sideways AND diagonally. I am....

Sorry. I got a little carried away there. I'm sure it won't ever happen again. I'm just happy right now, because I figured out a way to give YouTube's video time-limit the runaround. GO ME!

What happened was, I was going through my favorites on the aforementioned YouTube, deleting a bunch of stuff, because I had stuff that I'm not even sure why I saved it in the first place, much less want to watch again. I was going through my playlists, and I noticed for the first time (on some very rare occasions, I'm not all that observant ), that you can EMBED entire playlists. I also remembered that some kind soul had uploaded the 'Manos: The Hands of Fate' episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 awhile back, cut up into 11 bite-sized pieces. You see where I'm going with this? I think you do.

If you've been reading this blog for any length of time, you are familiar with the premise of MST3k, so I won't go into it again. What about Manos? Well, Manos is probably the most famous episode of MST. Those guys took a movie that causes people physical and mental pain, and re-fashioned it into comedic platinum (I don't care for gold). What is the movie about? A vacationing family falls into the clutches of the leader of a very tiny cult of people who seem to worship a hand...Or something, I dunno-they love hands: it's on staffs, artwork, a nifty Bea Arthur-esque muumuu, and they also seem to enjoy relieving other people of their own manos-es-es (Mani??). The highlight of the movie (I almost called it a film-that would have been a gross overstatement of a compliment), and I use the word 'highlight' very loosely, would have to be Torgo, the lecherous, big-kneed, goat-voiced houseboy (supposedly he was meant to be a satyr-you know: half-man, half-goat; deity of the woods and mountains, which is weird, because this takes place in a desert setting...Oh my God, I'm attempting to question the filmaker's logic while talking about Manos: The Hands of Fate-I've gone off the deep end.)

I hate Manos-I watched and reviewed it right here on this very blog a few months ago. Watching it un-MSTied is an exercise in cruel torture, in fact, I'm thinking about calling Amnesty International and reporting myself for making myself watch it. BUT, watching the MST version is the very definiton of pure, sweet, sweet joy. Watch it if you haven't ever seen it-you'll thank me later.

(I realize this embeded playlist player thingy isn't perfect: it looks different, and you can't watch the episode seamlessly (plus, I had to make it smaller because it pushed my links down to the bottom of the page and I won't stand for that). Look at it this way: eventually, I probably would have posted the whole thing ANYWAY, but this way, I won't have to either A) post 11 different players, or B) post 11 different links. That would have looked positively trashy.)

Viva Italia

OK, I figured that since Halloween is just around the corner, I would branch out from the many, many films listed under 'public domain' on Google video, and kick things up a notch by using 'horror' as my search term. That was a FANTASTIC idea if you ask me, because right there, on the second page, I found a Dario Argento film-Dario FUCKING Argento (that would be the Italian Master of Horror for those of you who don't follow these kinds of things). The man made Suspiria, which is made up of %99.9999 awesome. This film of his that I'm posting today-1975's Deep Red, aka Profondo Rosso-I have not seen, so I can't gauge it's percentage of awesomeness: it may suck hose water, I don't know. But, I'm willing to give Deep Red-and Dario-the benefit of a doubt, and I WILL watch it sometime this weekend: I'm cool like that.

Blah.

Okay, I typed out about 4 different versions of this post and I deleted all of them. Here's the gist of it:

I had an awful, stinky, crappy, altogether lousy day yesterday, and it seems to be overflowing into today as well. I've got some issues-well, just one really-that I'm trying to sort through in my head, and it's impossible for me to formulate any kind of interesting/funny/clever/boring/ post. I'm going back to bed right now, and maybe I'll feel better later today. If not, I won't be posting anything until tomorrow, so I figured the least I could do was make a little filler post, just to scoot Elmer Fudd a bit further down the page.

Since the idea of making a post that talks about how I won't be posting anything seems a little strange to me, I'm adding a little music to it. These 2 songs have absolutely nothing in common, except that they're my most favorite songs in the world. Enjoy. Or don't enjoy if you don't want to-I'm not going to force you to like these songs just because I do; I'm not an egomaniacal monster. Ok, I AM, but still......

Spear and Magic Helmet?

I had a strange urge to see this cartoon this morning, and would you believe that You Tube actually had it? They're slowly getting back on my good side. Slowly.

Me, Defined

I happened to glance at the 'about me' profile on my blog, and I figured that since my daughter has a birthday coming up in a few weeks, I'd change it. The trouble is, what should I say? I started on it, and each time I finished with it, it either looked too impersonal, or it was too long. I finally ended up deciding that when she does have her birthday, I'd just switch the '7' to an '8' and be done with it.

I also got to thinking about the fact that when I post, I hardly ever post anything about myself. You can pick up a few tidbits here and there, but for the most part, I come off as detached and guarded, which, granted, I sometimes can be. So, I thought, why don't I just lay myself out bare in a post? Mind you, you won't find any earth-shattering information here, like how old I was when I lost my virginity, or a heartfelt admission about my $1,000-a-day cocaine habit (not really), this is mostly just basic superficial info that one would pick up about me if they were around me on a daily basis. Some of this stuff you already know if you've read this blog for a while, some of it's stuff that only a handful of people know about, and mostly, I'm just typing stuff down as it comes to me, so if I don't say something in particular, it's not because I'm hiding some big secret-I just forgot, or it doesn't matter (not that ANY of this matters, but whatever). Also, there's no order to it-it's basically just a random jumble of things. And don't expect to find anything funny or heartwarming-these are just the facts.

I am a single mother-my daughter is my world. As I type this, I am currently without a job (thinking of making some big changes in regards to vocation). I have three pets-2 dogs, and a rabbit. I smoke-too much. I have a half-sister and a half-brother-I'm the youngest. My parents are still married to each other. I'm related to Doc Holliday on my dad's side of the family. I'm left handed. I like the color blue. I use humor alot, I also tend to be sarcastic-it's a defense, I suppose. If I could, I'd sleep during the day, and be up at night-I feel unnatural sleeping during the normal hours. I don't like to go out-I'm not a social person by nature. When I laugh, I bray like a jackass-very loudly too. I'm shy, and it sometimes comes off as snobbiness. I never learned how to ride a bike. Also, I can't skate. I don't drink alcohol. I know how to juggle. I'm double-jointed. I'm a bit of a nerd, and I have no problem with it. I like lists, any kind, really-I'm always jotting down some random grouping of things. I like showers over baths-I've never liked sitting in a stew of my own filth. I like cereal-I even eat it for dinner some days. My favorite season is winter. I feel sick to my stomach when I enter a school-I don't know why. I'm a democrat-sort of middle-of-the-road, I guess. I hate emptying the dishwasher. My most prized possession is a trophy my maternal grandmother won in a beauty contest in 1932, that's bent because she hit her date over the head with it. I say the word "Goddammit" too much. I like diet Sprite-it tastes clean. I still miss my dog, Gypsy, that died 4 years ago. I still like to color. I own too many pairs of sunglasses. I'm afraid of clowns and ventriliquist dummies. I like cardinals.

Hmmmm.....

I love Mystery Science Theater 3000-Joel over Mike, I'm unyielding in that. I think Joss Whedon is a genius. I've had a huge crush on Hugo Weaving for several years. I love Zero 7. I think Kurt Vonnegut is the most brilliant mind in the history of literature. I hope the Simpsons never go off the air. I think that Plan 9 From Outer Space and Reefer Madness are 2 of the greatest stories ever told. I think that Quint in Jaws was the best character ever put on film. I hate Tom Cruise. I love Bruce Campbell. I wish Joey Ramone was still alive. I have a girl-crush on Lauren Graham. I think the Smile Time episode of Angel was the best hour of anything ever televised. Also, as far as I'm concerned, if you look up the word 'Hot' in the dictionary, you'll see a picture of James Marsters. I love watching Golden Girls and M*A*S*H reruns. My most hated film character of all time is Noah Cross from Chinatown. I prefer Brian Cox over Anthony Hopkins as Hannibal Lecter. I think Dolly Parton is cool. I like the name Apple-I wish I'd thought of it before Gwyneth Paltrow did. When I'm depressed, I watch old movies-especially anything with Rosalind Russell. I hate love stories. I like horror movies. I think Wild, Wild West with Will Smith is the worst movie I've ever seen. I still get goose bumps when I see the final 5 or so minutes of the Usual Suspects. My favorite actress is Cate Blanchett. I wish Rutger Hauer was still making lots of movies. I wish Lindsay Lohan made FEWER movies. I wish Paris Hilton would just die already.

Oh, and I like jigsaw puzzles.

So, that's pretty much what you'd pick up if you read my mind. Like I said, no mind-blowing information there, but I feel better sharing those little nuggets. Now, do you see why I couldn't put all that in my profile?

Oh My.....

A-HAHAHAHAHAHA!! Ohhhhh.... Ahem. I wasn't going to post another list for a week. I figure that I tend to go overboard with them, so I've decided to start pacing myself, but I saw this, and I couldn't resist. Could. Not. Resist.

Considering how much I love bad movies, I guess it's only natural that I would also love bad lists, and this one is a doozy. This guy has made a list of 10 great American TV series. Now, you won't find anything like Twin Peaks, The Simpsons, MASH, or any other crap like that-madness to even think those are good shows-what's wrong with you? However, you will find stuff like The Fall Guy and Manimal. The Hoff even makes an appearance.

Keep in mind that it is not my intention to mean-spiritedly mock the guy who posted this-it's obvious that where he lives, these shows haven't been off the air that long, or they are just getting some of them, and most likely, these are the only type of shows they get (I'm HOPING that's the case, anyway). I think the whole thing is quaint, and kinda cute. Mine is a gentle, friendly mocking.

You know I'm falling all over myself to check the archives for any other lists. You better believe it.

Techtainment

Harper's Bizarre

It was suggested to me the other day by Jenner, that perhaps I should make use of my daughter's growing obsession with music, and make posting the songs she currently plays ad nauseum, a regular feature. Well, I happen to think that is a spiffy idea, so I'm running with it. I also thought that in honor of her first official gig as DJ, I would conduct a little interview with her:

Me: So, why do you keep going through my cds?

Harper: I don't know.

Me: Do you like music?

Harper: YES! Giggles

Me: Who is your favorite musician, or band?

Harper: Aly and AJ, and Johnny Cash

Me: Really? What's your favorite Johnny Cash song?

Harper: I Walk the Line. Is that candy?

Me: Yes, it's kind of old though.

Harper: Can I have it?

Me: I don't care. This song I'm posting today-you've played it quite a bit. Why?

Harper: I don't know. Can I go outside?

Me: No. It's raining.

Harper: Then, can I go watch tv?

Me: Go ahead. Give me a kiss.

Harper: Kisses

Me: Now, GIT!

Harper: Giggles, leaves

So, there you have it. I'd say my first interviewing job was a ROUSING success. Of course, I also say that purple and orange go well together, and that Dream Warriors was the best entry in the Nightmare on Elm Street series, so I'm probably not the best judge of these kinds of things.

Top 40 Countdown

I was gallivanting around the internet last night, looking for an interesting list (yes, in case you were wondering, I actually DO go around searching for them) and I came across This Here.

What that there is, is a list of the top forty uses of pop music in film. Their main criteria, was that the music be something that had already been released, in other words, not something that had been performed expressly for the film. That doesn't matter really, but I can dig that kind of anal-retentive approach to list making. Also, they get bonus points for utilizing You Tube: if a list entry had a corresponding clip available, they posted it.

That's not to say that I'm completely enamoured with the list: they had 10 Things I Hate About You on there, not once, but TWICE. I don't have anything against 10TIHAY particularly, but I can think of 2 film/music moments better than those, right off the top of my head. Then again, they did have Harold and Maude and Manhunter (two of the best movies EVER) on there, so I can't hate them just for that.

However, since I watched all the clips they posted, I now have the second half of this song in my head. I CAN and WILL hate them for THIS.

Bullz-Eye

Perfect Sunday Music

Your Experiment Today...

Once again I'm posting the saturday movie a bit early. So what? Is there a law saying it has to be done at a set time? I shun your laws and the men who make them, as I am a rebel (I am also VERY tired, and kinda sick-keep that in mind when you read whatever I may say in this post... Unless it's something really profound and brilliant, in which case, I meant to say it, and am in my right mind. Otherwise, I am mad with exhaustion and should be ignored at all costs). Saturday, I plan to sleep late, sit on my ass in front of the tv, and fade in and out of consciousness, and what that means is, I ain't a-gonna feel like postin' no movies tomorrow.

What are we watching this week?

I am posting a full-length MST3k episode today. Why? Because I just now noticed that Google has some of my favorites (and yes, eventually I will post those too-SUCK IT!), and also, it's a good way for those of you who don't know who That Guy is to get acquainted with him, and learn why some of us dig him (and his cohorts) so very, very much. See? Everyone benefits.

Also, no hints about the specific episode, because the only person who would know, would guess INSTANTLY, and then DEMAND a cookie. You know you would-don't lie.

Depeche Mode-"Halo"

I am having an off day.
I got no sleep last night (that's bad), but my morning was free, so I was able to get a little nap (that's good). This afternoon, I had to take Harper down the street so she could see the homecoming parade (that's good). The parade gave me a headache (that's bad), and she spent the entire time playing with the other kids (that's good). Thankfully, since I have no life to speak of (that's bad), I have nothing to do tonight but sit around the house and laze about (that's good). The house is also cursed (that's bad).

Is there a point to this boring story? Yep:this is probably going to be the only thing I post today. You have my sincerest apologies...Ok, so they're not all that sincere...Ok, so I'm not sorry at all-don't put me on the spot like that.

Psychedelic Furs-"Love My Way"

Believe it or not, this is one of Harper's picks. God bless her...

After This, I Promise to Stop With the Birthday Posts, I Swear.

Some guy named Michael J. Nelson turned 42 today. Supposedly, he used to write for and later starred in some tv show back in the 90s-Mystery Science Theater 3000. I, of course, have no firsthand knowledge of the existence of such a program, so I can't verify that, but that's what I've heard. It's not like I can quote a ridiculous number of his lines, and I most CERTAINLY never had a gigantic poster of him and his robot friends on my wall when I was 18 years old. I also don't think his dimples are absolutely adorable. Nope.

Apparently, nowadays he does commentary on special DVD editions of classic B-movies, and allegedly, there's a website where you can download commentaries he's done for a few more recent films. I think it's called Rifftrax or something, I'm not sure. Also, the word on the street is he's written a few books-that might be true, I dunno.

I hope he had a nice birthday, whoever he is. Oh, BTW: These clips of that show he was on could be entertaining, I have no idea. I myself, cannot sing the 10th season theme song at the drop of a hat (for the record, I also don't know the varying theme songs from the other seasons), and this short, A Case of Spring Fever-it might be somewhat amusing, who knows? It's not like I've laughed my ass off at it eleventy billion times, and I can't quote it or anything ("I own your ass, fat boy! Get back here!" "Rip, tear, expose, horrify friends" "You spring loving bastard"), and anyone who says I can is a filthy, lowdown liar.

Quality of Life

So, I watched this documentary the other night, Mademoiselle and the Doctor. It follows two people: 79 year old Lisette Nigot, and Dr. Philip Nitschke. More specifically, Lisette wants to die, and she wants Dr. Nitschke's help.

Dr. Nitschke is sometimes known as the Australian "Dr. Death", and when assisted suicide was briefly legalized in Australia in the mid-90s, he was the first person in the world to legally administer euthanasia. Now that it's ILLEGAL again, he holds workshops, designed to give legal and medical advice on dying with dignity.

Lisette is healthy, she's not depressed and is not in any pain. She just feels that at 79, she's just lived as long as she wants to. She never married, nor had children. She talks about attending the Sorbonne during WW2, working in the PR department of the Waldorf Astoria during the 1950s, and nonchalantly drops names like the Duke and Duchess of Windsor, The Kennedys and Marilyn Monroe. She also implies that she had many lovers, but not any that she had any great love for. She was very intelligent, quick, and not sentimental in the least. I liked this woman A LOT.

Your enjoyment of this film depends on a couple of factors: Obviously, you have to be the type of person who can find entertainment in a documentary-I've known many people who outright refuse to watch them. Secondly, it helps if you're not extremely anti-assisted suicide. Personally, I've never given it much thought, but after watching this movie, I've developed somewhat of an opinion.

There's one man in the film, who is dying of bowel cancer. I believe he was around 66 years old. He LOOKED like he was about NINETY six. He could not eat anything, he was in constant pain, and was unable to move from his hospital bed. He was begging to die, and it seemed to me that they were torturing this man by making him live.

Towards the end of the film, Dr. Nitschke goes to California for a convention for proponents of euthanasia. Natually, there were quite a number of protesters, and he had to hire a bodyguard to protect him (not going to touch on the irony of having to have someone protect a person from being killed by people who are against ending life. Not gonna say a word.) One of the genius protesters postulates that, once they start legalizing voluntary euthanasia, naturally they will want to legalize INvolunatary euthanasia. Yeah, chief, that's precisely what they have in mind. Yeesh.

Semi-spoiler coming up:

Lisette succeeds in commiting suicide. As much as I hate to admit it, I actually cried a little bit. She left a note, and a message on her answering machine:"I'm sorry, Lisette has gone on a trip and will not be returning." Her death ignited even more controversy in Australia, adding questions to the euthanasia debate about who EXACTLY should have the right to die-only sick people, or everyone. I'm not going to say what I think about that, one way or the other, but I highly recommend this movie.

Public Enemy-"Fight the Power"

I don't know why, but I've had an uncontrollable urge to hear this song all day long, which is strange, because as a rule, I don't like rap. Of course, if I want to hear a song, that means everyone else has to know what it is, and also have the option of listening to it. Damn, I gots a huge ego..

(If anyone is wondering why I have a picture of the DtRT version of the single, instead of a photo of Public Enemy, the answer is quite simple: Do YOU want to look at Flavor Flav? OK, so that's a question, not an answer-I still made my point.)

I Will Perfect My Own Rice of People

Legendary auteur Edward D. Wood jr would have been 82 today. Now, y'all know I love me some Ed, so I'm posting a couple of clips from his films as a paltry tribute: Bela Lugosi's "Atomic Supermen" speech from Bride of the Monster, and the trailer for Glen or Glenda. The man made pure celluloid crap-you can't argue with that. Logically, a person should not enjoy repeated viewings of his films, but as I always say: TO HELL WITH LOGIC! Usually after I say that, I throw my glass of scotch into the fireplace, and then I storm out the front door in a grand and diva-like manner.

But I digress..

I submit, that the reason his films are so enjoyable, is because they're UNIQUE crap, all crafted with his skewed 'artistic' vision (I have to wonder what kind of movies he would make if he were still alive, what with all the advances in special effects. Would he still be lighting pie plates on fire?). They don't make crap like that anymore. Who do we have making lousy movies nowadays? Uwe Boll? Who the hell wants to watch a Uwe Boll movie over and over again? Plus Ed had that cross-dressing thing going for him. Are there any cross-dressing filmakers around anymore? Well, I guess there's Larry Wachowski (did he ever get his sex change operation? Hmm.), but he's kind of a recluse, and his movies aren't TOO bad ( I love Agent Smith too much to be able to sufficiently bad-mouth the Matrix trilogy, but then again I HATE Keanu Reeves...But not as much as I love Agent Smith, so no, I can't talk smack about the Matrix).

ANYWAY, Happy Birthday, Ed- you made garbage that makes people happy. That's a rare feat indeed.

Blast(s) From the Past

I just spent about an hour watching old Sesame Street videos on YouTube. Why I spent an hour watching Sesame Street videos is a mystery, but I figured I might not be the only person who would get a kick out of such a thing so, I am sharing in my bounty. Enjoy, and don't blame me when-no,not 'if':WHEN- you get that Pinball song stuck in your head.

Rob Zombie-"Dragula"

(Is that the monster from The Phantom Creeps ? It HAS to be.)

Matthew Sweet-"Girlfriend"

It Dulls the Senses

It's almost 1 am and I'm awake. I just got through watching Silent Hill, plus my daughter's blood sugar is a little low, and I've got to keep an eye on her, so I figured I'd go ahead and post the Saturday movie.

How was Silent Hill? Hmm..You know what? I think I liked it. The dialogue wasn't the best, nor the acting. They could have done away with the subplot about the dad looking for his wife and daughter. The ending flat-out reeked. It was too long. It was based on a video game that I've never played, plus movies adapted from video games aren't known for their non-suckage. And still, I liked it. Go Figure.

Speaking of movies I like (you see what I did there?), how much do I adore today's feature presentation? The first time I saw this, at age 15, I had just watched The Shining, and I was completely unnerved. This came on right after, and by the end, I was my normal, happy-go-lucky self. Okay, so I've NEVER been happy-go-lucky. How about, "By the time the movie was over, I no longer was afraid my father was going to snap, chase us through a maze, and try to kill us all with an axe"? That'll do.

BTW:That little Shining anecdote? That's your hint this week. See? The story works on two levels.

Damn the Radio

Today I made the mistake of listening to the radio. Why was that a mistake? I'll tell you why: it was a mistake, because when I tuned in, they were playing NOTHING but 80s music. I will admit, that I enjoy a little 80s music from time to time. The problem lies in the fact that a good portion of it has a tendency to get lodged in your head, and won't go away for several days. I have three, count 'em, THREE songs on a continuous loop at this moment, just sort of alternating with each other. Like a medley, if you will. I'm going to have to get a lobotomy before the weekend's over.

Listen to these 3 songs, and perhaps through some sort of audio symbiosis, they will leave me, and get stuck in your head. Don't say I never gave you nothin'.

Were You NOT Expecting This?

I realize it's still early in the month, but I just love Halloween. It's always been my favorite holiday. (is it classified as a holiday? If not, what is it exactly? People don't get the day off from work, or school, so I'm thinking no. They should, though.) I get so excited every year, looking at the costumes and decorations, and now that I'm a mother, I also get to live vicariously through my daughter, helping her pick out her costume (what does she want to be this year, I asked her? Her response? Does she want to be a fairy princess, a ballerina, some generic cartoon character? Nope, she wants to be a vampire. That's my girl.)

One of the ways I celebrate the season, is by watching horror movies. I do this all year round, but during October, it's easier, and somehow more socially acceptable to watch them than it is to watch them at, say, Christmas time. So, taking my love of horror movies, AND my well-known love of lists into account, last night I did some searching for a LIST of HORROR MOVIES. I'm so predictable.

It's hard to find a decent list of horror films. Even Wikipedia, who has a list of what is supposed to be every horror movie ever made, is woefully incomplete. Then, you have the ones that some random so-and-so puts together, which is what I'm posting today. (I might make up my own at some point this month-believe me, you haven't seen the last horror/Halloween related post from me.)

This list is kind of..Blah. There's 100 movies on it, and an inordinate amount of them are sequels. I'm also thinking this isn't in order of what's scariest: Henry:Portrait of a Serial Killer comes in at #100, and that movie gave me the heebie-jeebies more than any other movie on this list. Not too many foreign horror films made the cut (wherefore art thou, Cannibal Holocaust?) and the top 20, which is what I'm posting, is like if the AFI made a list of horror movies.

Why am I posting a list that I don't really agree with? Oh people, one of the great things about a list, is picking it apart, and mocking the parentage of the person who made the list. Have I taught you nothing?

20. Child's Play (Pffffffffft!)

19. Alien (Is this considered a horror movie? It's a great movie, don't get me wrong, but where exactly does the line fall between horror and science fiction?)

18. Dead Alive (Features one of the best lines in film history:"I KICK ASS FOR THE LORD!")

17. Friday the 13th 2 (Ok, help me out here: In the first one, the killer turned out to be Mrs. Vorhees, all dressed up for an Indigo Girls concert, and avenging her dead son. This is the one where Jason is actually introduced. Was he supposed to have died, or did he live, and he just grew up fending for himself in the woods around Crystal Lake? I'm still a little foggy on that.)

16. Wes Craven's New Nightmare (That's the one where Heather Langenkamp plays herself, correct? S'okay, I guess. Different.)

15. Evil Dead 2 Dead by Dawn (OK, a little back story here: I love the Evil Dead series, with all my heart. I lap up any information about it as though it were candy and heroin, all mixed together. I even have a semi-crush on Sam Raimi. I'm a big nerd, yes, I don't care. This is my favorite of the three films. Is it scary? NO.)

14. Scream 2 (I don't think I even REMEMBER Scream 2. I know I watched it, but other than that, I couldn't tell you anything about it.)

13. Halloween 2 (Want a good time? Watch this while you're in the hospital.)

12. Dawn of the Dead (I've wracked my brain, and I don't think I've ever actually seen this. I saw the remake, but I never got around to this one. I'm filled with shame.)

11. Evil Dead (I've covered this. But I will add, that the first time I TRIED to watch this one, at the whopping age of 8 years old, it did scare the bejesus out of me. I finally gave it another try at age 16. It's gory, but not as scary as I'd made it out to be in my mind. Now I watch it at least three times a year.)

10. Hellraiser (I hated all the characters in Hellraiser, and it tickled me when Pinhead eviscerated them. I have anger issues.)

9. The Shining (I love the Shining. It's claustrophobic, and isolated, and it's also set in a cold location. For some reason, those three things are very unsettling to me. Plus, little Danny is cute, and I didn't have the urge to smack him, which is a rarity for me when I see kids in movies.)

8. Night of the Living Dead (I ♥ Johnny)

7. The Exorcist (I once started watching the Exorcist one morning before school, and I stayed home just to finish it. It's a good movie, but it didn't really frighten me. HOWEVER, when they re-released it with added footage, the scene of Regan doing that back-bend walk thing down the stairs was very....UPSETTING.)

6. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (I. Hate. Franklin. To this day. If I ever met the actor who played him, I would kick him in the nuts. I'm not kidding.)

5. Psycho (Suspense film, not horror. Just try and convince me otherwise.)

4. Friday the 13th (Ah, Kevin Bacon and his reverse tracheotomy. Good times.)

3. Scream (Am I the only person who didn't really like Scream? I just found the whole pop-culture awareness thing really tiresome.)

2. Nightmare on Elm Street (This is another "Scared the shit out of me at the time" movie. I watched this with my cousins when I was in the 4th grade. I slept about 2 hours that night, and I spent the rest of the night watching tv, including Dog Day Afternoon. An odd choice for a kid, but that was me:Odd. It doesn't scare me now, except Johnny Depp's poofy hair; THAT'S a little unnerving.)

1. Halloween (Good movie, scary, and it doesn't have the need to show you everything, great score, too. If you've got a 5 year old nephew, watch it with him-it's a comedy goldmine.)


List-by-some-other-guy-but-reposted-on-the-BMR

Foo Fighters-"Baker Street"

If I'm being completely honest, then I have to admit to a fondness for the original Gerry "Rehab" Rafferty version. I'll be turning in my cool card now.

You Wanna See Something Scary?

October-aka The Greatest Month of The Year-is here, which means it's only a couple of weeks 'til Halloween. To help get in the spirit of the season, here is a truly horrifying video. It's not scary in the classic definition, more like "It's so bad, it's scary". This woman has a face made for radio, and a voice made for...Um, well, perhaps she could show solidarity to some victimized girl by becoming an Ellen Jamesian -That would be PERFECT for her. God, I'm such a bitch....

The Sugarcubes-"Hit"

For the THIRD DAY IN A ROW, Radio Blog has left me high and dry, BUT I'm DAMNED and DETERMINED to post this song. Yes, folks, I'm turning to old reliable: YouTube. Kind of an odd video, but then again it's Bjork, so "odd" seems rather redundant.

I should also add that I'm exhausted-didn't get much sleep last night-so this is probably going to be my only post today. Don't cry, for I shall return tomorrow. That is, I will if I get some sleep tonight. Damn dogs, waking me up at 2,3 and 4am to go outside, and then one of them comes back in and pees on my carpet. Why did I ever get any pets? I swear to God.......

Sleater-Kinney-"The End of You"

I was geared up to post "One More Hour" by Sleater-Kinney today. Does Radio Blog have that song? Hell no. Now, if I wanted to post, say, the theme song from the Green Hornet, I would have no problem, but if I want one specific damn Sleater-Kinney song, I'm SOL. Sigh.





Oh, what the hell.....

Lush-"Kiss Chase"

Just for the record, I wanted to post "Superblast!", but Radio Blog only had 5 Lush songs, and only 2 of them worked. I'm mild-to-moderately pissed off because of that.