Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Skinny Pale People=Not Scary

As you may have gathered by my last review and the addition of several horror related links over to the right (my very favorite being Final Girl -Check it out if you have not done so), I have renewed my love affair with scary movies. Perhaps this is some kind of subconscious preparation for Halloween, because as far as I'm concerned, October is the most wonderful time of the year-I spit on December.

So, what did I watch last night?

It looks like a normal, everyday house, but the atmosphere about it is anything but. Something happened here once... no, even now there is a terror here, born of a spirit that possesses this place. The various supernatural experiences undergone by the different owners of the house, unaware of the horrible events that have taken place here, mingle across time, and the true form of the terrifying, invisible "Ju-On" that nests in this house becomes clear...

That's right, kids, I viewed the 2003 Japanese extravaganza, Ju-On. I will admit, that I'm not too familiar with the Japanese horror genre, but from everything I've heard, they're supposed to be fairly scary. If this movie is any indication, I've either A) Been misinformed, or B) Become jaded.

Why did I not find it scary? For one thing, I laughed through damn near the entire thing. Case in point: The sister of the husband of the first couple (don't ask me any names-I haven't a clue), gets stalked by the Ju-on ghost in her office building (at least I THINK that's where she was), then, after she gets to her apartment, she does a few utterly asinine things:

1. Her brother calls her from outside her building. Now, WE know that it's not her brother, but even if she's not aware that it's some skinny, crunchy woman in a dirty nightgown, considering how her brother was acting earlier, she should still be a little leery. Especially when he has forgotten what number apt. is hers. She buzzes him in.

2. The phone makes a weird, otherworldly noise, so she chucks it out into the hallway.

3. Finally, the fear becomes too much for her, and in a fit of stark, raving terror, she......Hides under the covers on her bed. She hid....Under...The fucking.....Sheets. I haven't done that since I was 5. As far as I'm concerned, she deserved everything she got after that pathetic display.

The whole movie was like that to varying degrees. I just-- is it me? Have I seen so many ghosts, zombies, masked psychos and crazed, transexual camp counselers that I've become numb to any attempt at horror? Am I losing my childlike sense of wonder and fear? Or was Ju-on just not scary? I need answers, people!