Sunday Music Dump-"I'm Old" Edition

As I mentioned the other day, my birthday is coming up. Since the odds of me bringing it up again are slim to nil, I thought I'd devote today's SMD to that not-so-glorious day in history.

The idea of a bunch of birthday songs seemed inapropriate since it's MY birthday, so I decided to go a different route. I dug up a list of the top 100 songs for the year I was born (1976 to be precise), and picked a handful of songs that I...Don't hate, from said list.

I thought long and hard ('bout 2 minutes, tops) about including a couple of them, because I'm a little ashamed that I...Don't hate them. You can mock me if you like, but I'll make you pay. Is it really worth it?

My Birthday IS Coming Up, After All

I don't often post about my most obsessive obsessions on here (yeah, I don't know why. Who cares?), but I had to make a note of this. I'd kill to get my hands on Stephen's cast (preferably with him in it, but that's a whole other post), and realistically the only way it would be close to financially feasible for me to get it WOULD be to hire myself out as a hitwoman. Or I could give prostitution a go, but killing people for cash sounds much more appealing to me. Shocking, I know.

Hey Nation! Stephen Colbert is auctioning off his cast for charity. Get ready to start placing your bids on the cast signed by New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, Katie Couric, Bill O’Reilly, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Russert, Tony Snow and Brian Williams. The celebrity-signed cast (photo available upon request) will be posted on the eBay auction block after Thursday night's show on August 23 with bids being accepted through Monday, September 3. The winning bid will be announced on-air the week of September 10 at 11:30 p.m. ET/PT. Proceeds from the auction will benefit the Yellow Ribbon Fund....


Comedy Central

Sunday Music Dump

PS-I think I'll toss this one up for a kick. Kind of a perverse, twisted kick since it's been on a loop in my head for the past couple of days, and I know that when you all see the title, it will begin looping through YOUR head, too. Matter of fact, you don't even have to listen to it, and you're still gonna be all "Ba ba bwaana, ba ba bwaana bwaana bwaa".

You're welcome.

Is There Anything He Can't Do?

I didn't do a movie post yesterday, and I'm not going to do a Music Dump post today. I've got...Well, I've got the PMS, if you must know, and I just don't feel like rooting through all the media at my disposal and making my picks. It's just a week, you'll live.

But since I'm as kindhearted as a...Really kindhearted person, I'll put up something. I had a strange urge to see this video today, so watch that if you're so inclined. It's old, but it's still really nifty, IMO. And my O (my OPINION) is all that matters here (try and argue with me right now-I'll cut ya, I swear to God.)

The Brood

I saw this picture on Gallery of the Absurd, and it is simultaneously cracking me up/ creeping me out.

If you are unfamiliar with the subjects of this image, it's The Duggar Family, who have acquired a bit of fame due to the fact that they will NOT stop having kids. In fact, they recently added a 19TH MEMBER to their already painfully huge family.

It's none of my business if people want to have a bunch of kids, obviously (and in fact, I've got a few friends who have big families), and I generally don't judge people for stuff like that, it's just their REASONING that gets me. See, the Duggars are a part of the Quiverfull Movement, which is made up of people who believe things like this:

Quiverfull's principal authors and its adherents also describe their motivation as a missionary effort to raise up many Christian children to affect the world for the cause of the Christian religion.

Now THAT, that bothers me. Again, I figure that people can believe anything they want, as long as they let me believe what I want, and everything's fine. The problem there is that it's people like THIS that, more often than not, do their damnedest to try and get EVERYONE ELSE to buy what they're selling (it is an Evangelical movement after all), and think that people who don't believe what they believe are somehow lesser than they are that give me the creeps.

And they're having oodles and oodles of kids so they can pass their beliefs on to them, and then some of their kids will have a bunch of kids, and then THEIRS and so on and so on infinity. Beware.



So, yeah, these people give me the screaming heebies jeebies. But that picture sho is funny.

Sunday Music Dump

There's no reason for me to share this, but shortly after I woke up today, I stepped on an upholstery tack and drove it all the way into my foot. I've gone through 3 band aids already. It hurts rilly, rilly bad.

Annnnd that's all.


Boy, can I tell a story or what?

Visions of the Mekong Delta Flash Before Johnny's Eyes

My week has been not so good (I don't wanna go into it). But it's almost over, that's the important thing, and tomorrow, hopefully will make up for the last several days. You see, every year our town hosts a carnival of sorts, and those seedy people set up camp yesterday. Tomorrow night, I plan to eat oodles of questionable food, waste money on rigged games, avoid the leers of dirty, filthy carnies, and barf my guts out while riding the Zipper.

My official stance is that I'm going because Harper wants to go, and while this is partly true, the fact of the matter is, I'm mainly going because I want to. I can play up my sophistication and sharp intellect (what?) til the cows come home, but when you get right down to it, I'm just easily entertained white trash. I'm ok with that.

In addition to being a simple-minded hick, I'm also a weak and frail woman, so I'll be using the rest of the weekend to recover (mainly recovering from the prior week's events, not so much the carnival), so I thought I'd toss up a little video. Now, I thought and thought about what to post that would fit in with my carnival shenanigans: possibly an episode of the wonderful tv series 'Carnivale', which was unceremoniously canceled by those dicks at HBO. Or perhaps 'The Funhouse', the Tobe Hooper horror movie that scared the living daylights out of me when I was a kid.

No.

I ended up deciding on an MST3k short, 'Johnny at the Fair'. A fair isn't the same as a carnival; it's bigger and there are usually more farm animals (not taking into account anything that the carnies might be into. I kid the carnies. Those dirty, filthy carnies), but it's close enough. I had doubts about posting an MST short, because I didn't want to rip Jenner off, but she generally sticks to the Mike shorts, while I'm more of a Joel gal (because he's better. Doy.)

So, I will return on monday (maybe sunday, it all depends), probably with a long-winded post complaining about how the PC police have ruined carnivals by making them get rid of the sideshow freaks.


God, how I miss the freaks. Damn, maybe I should have posted the movie 'Freaks' instead. Or 'Freaked' with Alex Winter. Whatever happened to that guy anyway? Shit, now I gotta go Google....

RIP

On the same day, no less.

Michelangelo Antonioni, the Italian director whose chilly depictions of alienation were cornerstones of international filmmaking in the 1960s, inspiring intense measures of admiration, denunciation and confusion, died on Monday at his home in Rome, Italian news media reported today. He was 94...

New York Times Obit for Antonioni


Ingmar Bergman, the master filmmaker who found bleakness and despair as well as comedy and hope in his indelible explorations of the human condition, died yesterday at his home on the island of Faro, off the Baltic coast of Sweden. He was 89.

New York Times Obit for Bergman

Sunday Music Dump

Spa-LAT

Do I dislike Beyonce? Nah, not really. Did I laugh at this? Hell. Yes.

Boum Beyonce
Uploaded by kurb35

Sunday Music Dump

An Open Letter to Val Kilmer

I'm watching a Maury "My daughter is a mean little whore" episode, and it has put me in a foul mood. The reason I say that right up front is because I'm going to pick on you a tad, and I don't normally pick on people based on their appearance. I mean, I DO, but I try to avoid doing it where people can read/hear it, but I'm pissed right now, and when I'm pissed, my sense of decorum goes right out the window.
So, I'm watching this Maury episode and farting around on the internet, and I come across a photo of you. You know, I realize that not everyone is perfect (I'm sure as hell not), and that age does things to a person: they get wrinkles, get fat, go grey, etc.

It would seem that you opted for "get fat":

I wouldn't point this out based on this photo alone, I mean, your head's turned and it could just be an unfortunate angle. BUT there's this:

And THIS (my favorite):

...To back all of it up.

Val, sweetie, you're an actor, a damn good one at that, but still, your main job is to look pretty for our entertainment. You're not one of those character actors who can get away with looking like shit (Tombstone notwithstanding-you were GREAT in that, BTW: I say that "Huckleberry" shit ALL the TIME.) Remember how you looked in Top Gun? That beach volleyball scene was something to behold, in fact I wouldn't be saying any of this if you weren't so damned hot before. I know, I know, that was 20 years ago and you're much older now, but look at Jane Fonda-the woman is 70 and she still looks fantastic. Yes, I know some of it is due to surgery, but most of what she has going on you can't get from a doctor.

You seem to spend a lot of time at the beach-go swimming. Or surfing. Get off of your increasingly fat ass and do SOMETHING besides making out with skanky chicks. If not for yourself and your health, then do it for the people who have to look at you.

Then again, in that most recent photo, you look happy, so perhaps the added poundage has diminished your unrepentant assholishness, for which you are so noted. And I guess if you can't be as hot as you once were, being a nice and decent person would be enough to make up for it. But I doubt that's the case, so lose some weight.

I guess that's all have to say, so Mazel Tov, tubby and after seeing the wetsuit photograph again I would like to add: good luck hunting down the guy who stole your bukkit.

Warmest regards...

Ha-HA!

PAGANS have pledged to perform “rain magic” to wash away cartoon character Homer Simpson who was painted next to their famous fertility symbol - the Cerne Abbas giant.
The 17th century chalk outline of the naked, sexually aroused, club-wielding giant is believed by many to be a symbol of ancient spirituality.
Many couples also believe the 180ft giant, which is carved in the hillside above Cerne Abbas, Dorset, is an aid to fertility.
A giant 180ft Homer Simpson brandishing a doughnut was painted next to the well-endowed figure today in a publicity stunt to promote The Simpsons Movie released later this month.
It has been painted with water-based biodegradable paint which will wash away as soon as it rains.
Ann Bryn-Evans, joint Wessex district manager for The Pagan Federation, said: “It’s very disrespectful and not at all aesthetically pleasing"...

The Sun

Sunday Music Dump

Ooh, Puppy!

I'm going to be busy this weekend, which is to say, I'll be sleeping, watching tv, and just generally avoiding any kind of activity whatsoever. I've gotten approximately ZIPPO sleep this week, and I need to recoup.

Anyhow, before I begin my weekend of sloth, I thought I'd post a movie, and you will be pleased as punch to know that it's a movie that was featured on Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Killer Shrews (but it's not the MST version). The plot, as near as I can figure it, has something to do with Roscoe P. Coltrane from The Dukes of Hazzard and Festus from Gunsmoke fighting off medium-sized dogs who seem to be draped in bath mats. It's gold, Jerry, GOLD!

Now, Google HAS the full version, but you have to pay for it and that seems kind of silly, so I'm supplying the YouTube version, which is cut into 7 parts. I'm posting the first video, and then a link to it, where you can find the rest of the clips (if anyone actually DOES go through the trouble of watching all of it, I will be suprised.)

It's Like Alien, but Without the Underwear

Tagger, Please

It's a fact...

I've been tagged by two people: Bonnie Blue and Alonzo Mosley, and since I'm awake, I figured I could go ahead and get this out of the way. These are the rules:

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.

Now, I'm not going to be tagging anyone, because everyone I have internet contact with has already done it, or has been tagged by someone else. I'm not entirely sure I can come up with 8 things about myself because I've pretty much covered eveything already. But I'll give it a go...

1. I like westerns. I hated them the entire time I was growing up, then when I was in my 20s, I finally sat down and gave one a fair shot, and that was it. This is not to say that I haven't seen some crappy ones, it's just that now I won't write a film off just because it features an abundance of horses. The best western (har) I've ever seen: The Searchers

2. I used to collect candles, but I quit. Still, people buy them for me as gifts so I either use them or put them in storage where they end up melting 9 times out of 10. If your electricity goes out, come to my house: I'll hook you up.

3. I like old folks. If given the choice to be around kids, people my own age, or the elderly, I'll pick the elderly. Which is strange because...

4. When I was a kid, my mom worked at a nursing home, and I pretty much grew up there (there, and the sheriff's office:my dad was a deputy.) There was one woman, Mrs. Potts, who scared the bejesus out of me. She was a harmless oldster in hindsight, she couldn't talk and according to my mom, she used to be a teacher and loved kids. But she freaked me out. She was always coming at me with this huge, rictus-like smile on her face, saying nary a word. Usually I'd manage to flee from her clutches, but one day she was too quick for me. She grabbed my arm and proceeded to march me towards her room. I pitched the biggest FIT in the history of the known universe-screaming, crying, carrying on- which was completely out of character for me, because even as a kid, I was really polite and quiet. Fortunately, my mom swooped in and saved me from whatever horror awaited me (probably some of that hard ribbon candy. You know the kind, where you take one and the whole thing is attached to it in some mutant candy wad.) Of course I feel kind of guilty about it now, making such a huge spectacle when the old bird didn't mean me any harm. But whaddya want, I was 4.

5. Giraffes creep me out. Google Locusta the Poisoner if you want to know why.

6. I'm a pretty decent volleyball player. Haven't touched (flushed) a ball in years, but I'd be willing to wager that my serve is still perfect.

7. I've never outgrown liking really bright, garish neon colors. Same goes for anything with glitter and/or sequins. If it's neon AND glittery, it acquires 'sacred treasure' status (see: fluorescent green sparkly sunglasses I've had since the 4th grade.)

8. I can't think of anything else, so I'm just going to say that I am presently watching a rerun of Designing Women.

It's a fact!

Sunday Music Dump-Canada Day Edition

PSA

The Boomerang channel is looking to write a new page right into history.
The Cartoon Network's retro channel filled with the animation the Boomer generation grew up with will air all 166 episodes of The Flintstones in chronological order and without commercials. It is the first time the network has run a marathon of all episodes in a series.
The holiday stunt will begin on July 4 at 6 a.m and will run until July 7 at 5 p.m. A bit of trivia: The pilot episode was called The Flagstones.
There will also be a best of the Flintstones VOD offering.
The Flintstones was the first animated prime time sitcom when it debuted in 1960 on ABC and was essentially an homage to the Honeymooners team of Jackie Gleason and Art Carney.


Broadcasting Cable

Theater of Pain

I found this a few days ago, and since then I've spent quite a bit of time debating what to say about it. The it dawned on me that I've said everything there is to say, so I'm just going to leave it alone and let the movie speak for itself.


MANOS The Hands Of Fate 1966

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Pavement-'Range Life'