I Am Old Yeller's Morbidity

I've been uber busy this past week, and I've had a lot on my mind. Couple that stuff with the fact that I'm the laziest woman that ever lived, and the end result is that I've neglected the hell out of my blog. Hopefully things will settle down by the end of this week and I'll be able to devote even five minutes to posting anything.

I DID have about five minutes to devote to posting something today, but my brain is so preoccupied that I couldn't think of anything (actually, I did think of something, but who wants to read an incoherent five paragraph rant about how much of a pain in the butt it is to clean dried-up silly string off the side of a tree? Seriously, the whole post would have consisted of me going "GODDAMMIT!" over and over again-you're better off not being subjected to that). Then I remembered farting around on some silly quiz site yesterday, and I thought I could post the results of some of the tests I took. I really hate resorting to internet personality tests to fill up space on the blog, but fuck it, a new post is a new post, and that's all that matters.



Which Horrible Affliction are you?
A Rum and Monkey disease.


Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.


Which Colossal Death Robot Are You?
Brought to you by Rum and Monkey

Sunday Music Dump

Sunday Music Dump-Covers Edition

Mighty Little Man

About a month ago, I acquired another dog (for those of you keeping score at home, the TDYL Pet Tally now stands at 5.) His name is Patches (aka Patch, aka, Patchouli, aka Padamamie, aka Pothead, aka Patrick Star, aka Petra Haden...In case you were wondering, I HATE the name Patches) and he's a Jack Russell mix. He's about 3 months old, and he's quite the feisty little beast.

The first week that we had him, he attempted to make friends with Lily and Pepper and they, being the brave souls that they are, would jump on the couch and cower, just out of his reach. As you'll see, he's quite a vicious looking character. However as time has passed, the girls have become accustomed to his frightful visage and they've all decided to try and live together in harmony, I guess for my sake.

As for just HOW well they get along, Pepper does her best to put up with him, and will even play with him if the mood strikes her, which is exceedingly rare these days. At the ripe old age of 4 1/2 years old, Pepper is getting to be a cranky old bitch (and yet she's still my favorite, I wonder why). She's also become camera-shy for some reason, so she does not make an appearance in these photos.

Lily on the other hand has taken to Patches quite swimmingly and has assumed a bit of a maternal role in addition to being his bestest buddy-it's all really very sweet if you're into that kind of thing.

As for Patches himself, he's pretty well-behaved for a puppy, especially a male puppy. He doesn't chew very much and he's picking up the house training thing rather quickly, I guess because he goes out with the other dogs. He's kinda hyper, and when he's hungry, he drags his food dish into the middle of the floor so that I'll trip over it and feed his little fat ass. He also likes to sleep next to my head, and when you talk to him in the right tone of voice, he'll back-sass you. Oh, and he likes to chase and kill crickets and if you scratch him on the back just right, he does this full-body shiver thing-I swear, it's fucking precious...

So, I kinda like him, I guess. Just a little. Yeah.

Why?

I wasn't going to post anything relating to the Britney Spears VMA performance, but this little tidbit has me perplexed:

An Emmy Awards show source told Usmagazine.com that Fox is “in negotiations” with Britney Spears to make an appearance on Sunday’s telecast. “The idea is to have her come on and apologize for the VMAs,” the source reportedly said. “She’s weighing the offer.” A source close to Spears reportedly told US, “I can’t say this is 100 percent not true...[but] if she is doing anything for the Emmys then it’s not going through the official channels.”

Apologize? For what? Don't get me wrong-I saw that pitiful display the night it aired, and I'm not saying it was good in any way, shape or form-she acted high, she looked dumpy, and Oh mah Gawd, her HAIR. But it's not like she came out and dropped a deuce on the stage, she just didn't put on a good show. Have people gotten so sensitive that they have to be compensated for witnessing 4 minutes of mediocrity?

There's no chance in hell that Britney can gain my respect at this point: I figure her best bet is to disappear for about 10 years and make her comeback by appearing in a John Waters movie, then MAYBE I'll give her a chance. However if she apologizes for the VMAs, in my eyes, she will have blown it for good. Embrace your suckitude, Britney-it's all you have left to hold on to now.


Oh, and if you want to apologize for something, say you're sorry for getting out of cars while not wearing any underwear-that's just uncalled for and I REALLY don't need to see that THING again.

MSNBC

Eat It

I feel like shit.

That's probably not the classiest way I've ever started a post, but the point remains: I am not myself. All week long I've felt tired, weak, slightly depressed and kinda anxious. It's like that feeling you get right before you get sick, only it's lasting FOREVER. On top of all that, I've had insomnia for the past 3 days, and my hair is looking kinda ratty.

But I didn't come here to bring everyone down with me. That's just a bonus.

Really though, I haven't felt like posting anything all week, in fact, today's the first day I've even looked at my blog at all since Sunday. It's funny too, because I've read and seen a bunch of things that I probably would have posted about had I not been feeling like the Corpse Bride all week, but it was not to be. Actually, I came very close to posting about something last night, specifically Viggo Mortensen's bizarre Colbert Report cameo, but obviously I didn't. (Seriously, those 2 guys together on my TV at the same time? I don't want to be crass, but if I was feeling better, I would have feared for the integrity of my drawers.)

I'm starting to ramble, so I'll get to the point of this post. As I have previously stated, I feel like doodoo, and as much as I love you all, I'm more concerned with the state of my own body and mind right now. I've got over-the-counter meds and my big ol' down comforter to take care of the body part, and to take care of the mind part, I'm going to watch this movie-it always cheers me up.

After that, I'm getting my ass to bed, and hopefully I'll sleep more than 10 minutes.

Goodnight.

Or day. Whatever the hell...

Sunday Music Dump

RIP

Yay?

Talk about a turd in a punchbowl:

Pete Doherty is being lined up to play a zombie in a new BBC sci-fi show. With his dead-eyed expression and pale skin, the singer, 28, already looks like the flesh-eating undead. Buffy The Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon, 43, wants to cast Pete in Ripper, a spin-off of the cult series. Anthony Head, 53, will reprise his role as Giles to battle monsters in England.

'Joss admires [the] pop references in Doctor Who and thought it would be great to get some British musical and comic cameos in the new series,' a source tells the Daily Star. 'Pete seemed the obvious choice, with his love of the macabre. The blood paintings and the self-styled night creature are perfect. 'It's thought he'll play an approximation of his real-life persona – the zombie remnants of a rock star and poet unable to rest and therefore haunting London – with grisly results, of course.' If Pete signs up, he'll begin filming in January, for a June air-date.

Hmmmm.

I'm beyond pleased that the long-talked about Ripper spin-off may actually see the light of day-I'm a Buffy nerd, and so I care about this kind of stuff. But seriously, Pete Doherty? Do I love Anthony Head as Giles enough to suffer through watching Pete Doherty acting his way through a heroin haze?

Answer: Yes. Yes, I do.

Now Magazine

WTF Photo of the Day

Yahoo News

I Get Mist-y

It dawned on me the other day that I haven't posted hardly anything in awhile that wasn't music or a video of some kind. I've just been busy lately, and when I do have time to post, I don't feel like putting much thought into it.

Today isn't ANY different.

Awhile back, I read that Frank Darabont was going to adapt the Stephen King short story, The Mist, into a big-deal Hollywood movie. I was kind of excited about this because : A) I'm a goofy movie nerd; B) Darabont has done pretty well with King adaptations before (Shawshank, The Green Mile), and: C) The Mist is my absolute favorite King story (not my favorite NOVEL: that honor goes to the Shining. That book scared the piss out of me, of course I was 11 when I read it.) I love any story about a diverse group of people, trapped together in a confined setting, uniting against an unspeakable horror-it gives me a happy.

Well, yesterday I saw the trailer for the movie, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. It's always nice to see Marcia Gay Harden and Andre Braugher in anything, but I'm a bit troubled by the presence of Thomas Jane. I saw him in the trailer and had a horrible Dreamcatcher flashback (that movie was so bad, it gave me PTSD.) Come to think of it, I honestly don't think I've EVER seen a movie that starred Thomas Jane that didn't suck fuzzy monkey balls. I don't have anything against the guy personally, but yeah, his movies are not so good.

Maybe it's just me, though. Maybe I like The Mist too much as a short story to be objective enough. Someone else watch the trailer and tell me what you think.

Sunday Music Dump-"I'm Old" Edition

As I mentioned the other day, my birthday is coming up. Since the odds of me bringing it up again are slim to nil, I thought I'd devote today's SMD to that not-so-glorious day in history.

The idea of a bunch of birthday songs seemed inapropriate since it's MY birthday, so I decided to go a different route. I dug up a list of the top 100 songs for the year I was born (1976 to be precise), and picked a handful of songs that I...Don't hate, from said list.

I thought long and hard ('bout 2 minutes, tops) about including a couple of them, because I'm a little ashamed that I...Don't hate them. You can mock me if you like, but I'll make you pay. Is it really worth it?

My Birthday IS Coming Up, After All

I don't often post about my most obsessive obsessions on here (yeah, I don't know why. Who cares?), but I had to make a note of this. I'd kill to get my hands on Stephen's cast (preferably with him in it, but that's a whole other post), and realistically the only way it would be close to financially feasible for me to get it WOULD be to hire myself out as a hitwoman. Or I could give prostitution a go, but killing people for cash sounds much more appealing to me. Shocking, I know.

Hey Nation! Stephen Colbert is auctioning off his cast for charity. Get ready to start placing your bids on the cast signed by New York City Mayor Mike Bloomberg, Katie Couric, Bill O’Reilly, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Russert, Tony Snow and Brian Williams. The celebrity-signed cast (photo available upon request) will be posted on the eBay auction block after Thursday night's show on August 23 with bids being accepted through Monday, September 3. The winning bid will be announced on-air the week of September 10 at 11:30 p.m. ET/PT. Proceeds from the auction will benefit the Yellow Ribbon Fund....


Comedy Central

Sunday Music Dump

PS-I think I'll toss this one up for a kick. Kind of a perverse, twisted kick since it's been on a loop in my head for the past couple of days, and I know that when you all see the title, it will begin looping through YOUR head, too. Matter of fact, you don't even have to listen to it, and you're still gonna be all "Ba ba bwaana, ba ba bwaana bwaana bwaa".

You're welcome.

Is There Anything He Can't Do?

I didn't do a movie post yesterday, and I'm not going to do a Music Dump post today. I've got...Well, I've got the PMS, if you must know, and I just don't feel like rooting through all the media at my disposal and making my picks. It's just a week, you'll live.

But since I'm as kindhearted as a...Really kindhearted person, I'll put up something. I had a strange urge to see this video today, so watch that if you're so inclined. It's old, but it's still really nifty, IMO. And my O (my OPINION) is all that matters here (try and argue with me right now-I'll cut ya, I swear to God.)

The Brood

I saw this picture on Gallery of the Absurd, and it is simultaneously cracking me up/ creeping me out.

If you are unfamiliar with the subjects of this image, it's The Duggar Family, who have acquired a bit of fame due to the fact that they will NOT stop having kids. In fact, they recently added a 19TH MEMBER to their already painfully huge family.

It's none of my business if people want to have a bunch of kids, obviously (and in fact, I've got a few friends who have big families), and I generally don't judge people for stuff like that, it's just their REASONING that gets me. See, the Duggars are a part of the Quiverfull Movement, which is made up of people who believe things like this:

Quiverfull's principal authors and its adherents also describe their motivation as a missionary effort to raise up many Christian children to affect the world for the cause of the Christian religion.

Now THAT, that bothers me. Again, I figure that people can believe anything they want, as long as they let me believe what I want, and everything's fine. The problem there is that it's people like THIS that, more often than not, do their damnedest to try and get EVERYONE ELSE to buy what they're selling (it is an Evangelical movement after all), and think that people who don't believe what they believe are somehow lesser than they are that give me the creeps.

And they're having oodles and oodles of kids so they can pass their beliefs on to them, and then some of their kids will have a bunch of kids, and then THEIRS and so on and so on infinity. Beware.



So, yeah, these people give me the screaming heebies jeebies. But that picture sho is funny.

Sunday Music Dump

There's no reason for me to share this, but shortly after I woke up today, I stepped on an upholstery tack and drove it all the way into my foot. I've gone through 3 band aids already. It hurts rilly, rilly bad.

Annnnd that's all.


Boy, can I tell a story or what?

Visions of the Mekong Delta Flash Before Johnny's Eyes

My week has been not so good (I don't wanna go into it). But it's almost over, that's the important thing, and tomorrow, hopefully will make up for the last several days. You see, every year our town hosts a carnival of sorts, and those seedy people set up camp yesterday. Tomorrow night, I plan to eat oodles of questionable food, waste money on rigged games, avoid the leers of dirty, filthy carnies, and barf my guts out while riding the Zipper.

My official stance is that I'm going because Harper wants to go, and while this is partly true, the fact of the matter is, I'm mainly going because I want to. I can play up my sophistication and sharp intellect (what?) til the cows come home, but when you get right down to it, I'm just easily entertained white trash. I'm ok with that.

In addition to being a simple-minded hick, I'm also a weak and frail woman, so I'll be using the rest of the weekend to recover (mainly recovering from the prior week's events, not so much the carnival), so I thought I'd toss up a little video. Now, I thought and thought about what to post that would fit in with my carnival shenanigans: possibly an episode of the wonderful tv series 'Carnivale', which was unceremoniously canceled by those dicks at HBO. Or perhaps 'The Funhouse', the Tobe Hooper horror movie that scared the living daylights out of me when I was a kid.

No.

I ended up deciding on an MST3k short, 'Johnny at the Fair'. A fair isn't the same as a carnival; it's bigger and there are usually more farm animals (not taking into account anything that the carnies might be into. I kid the carnies. Those dirty, filthy carnies), but it's close enough. I had doubts about posting an MST short, because I didn't want to rip Jenner off, but she generally sticks to the Mike shorts, while I'm more of a Joel gal (because he's better. Doy.)

So, I will return on monday (maybe sunday, it all depends), probably with a long-winded post complaining about how the PC police have ruined carnivals by making them get rid of the sideshow freaks.


God, how I miss the freaks. Damn, maybe I should have posted the movie 'Freaks' instead. Or 'Freaked' with Alex Winter. Whatever happened to that guy anyway? Shit, now I gotta go Google....

RIP

On the same day, no less.

Michelangelo Antonioni, the Italian director whose chilly depictions of alienation were cornerstones of international filmmaking in the 1960s, inspiring intense measures of admiration, denunciation and confusion, died on Monday at his home in Rome, Italian news media reported today. He was 94...

New York Times Obit for Antonioni


Ingmar Bergman, the master filmmaker who found bleakness and despair as well as comedy and hope in his indelible explorations of the human condition, died yesterday at his home on the island of Faro, off the Baltic coast of Sweden. He was 89.

New York Times Obit for Bergman

Sunday Music Dump