Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Shaving IQ Points

I had a bit of a stressful day yesterday, and in an effort to get my mind off of things, late in the day I sat down in front of the tv and channel surfed for a bit. My search criteria was only that I didn't have to think about what I was watching, and, if possible, it was to be something that would end up making me feel superior. Now, I was fully aware of the existence of this program, and had seen bits and pieces of it over the years, but I'd never sat down and watched an entire hour of it. After the hour was over, I was filled with a mix of bemusement, horror, smugness, nausea, and a big old helping of schadenfreude.

Ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, on March 27 2007, I sat down and watched my very first full "You Are NOT the Father!" episode of Maury.

Like I said, I had seen bits and pieces of it over the years, but actually watching a whole hour, one person after the other who feels the need to procure a DNA test to determine the identity of their baby daddy, is much, much worse(better?) Over the course of the hour, there was not one person who had any redeeming qualities whatsoever-it was an endless parade of trash, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm thinking it won't be the last time I watch it. What does that say about me? Does it make me a bad person that, when the paternity test proved to be negative, the reactions of both the non-baby daddy and the slut-mama made me bray like a jackass on pot? Well, I don't care: after a bad day, I think everyone is entitled to have a laugh at the expense of the dregs of society, and if that makes me wrong, I don't wanna be right. Besides, if they didn't want us to mock them, they wouldn't have gone on Maury.

I know I'm probably the last person on the face of the Earth who hadn't watched an episode, but I invite you all to laugh with me, so I'm including a couple of clips. Unfortunately, these people weren't on the one I watched...No I take back the 'unfortunately'-if they had been on there, with the mood I was in, I probably would have gone into hysterics and subsequently had a stroke. So, watch, enjoy, bask in the glow of feeling superior to another human being. You know you want to.