Monday, January 01, 2007

Everybody Into the Pool

WARNING: This post is going to be just a tad on the morbid side, so if you're offended by conjecture about death, GET OUT NOW!

Last night, instead of going out like most people do on New Year's Eve, I stayed home, and talked myself into cleaning Harper's room. Ostensibly, that's a job for her, but the room had gotten so cluttered that she couldn't possibly have done it herself. See, during the summer, it was so hot in there, due to the central AC going on the fritz, that she had been sleeping in my room for the past several months, and we had basically just been throwing her stuff in there and not thinking about it. Well, one of my new years resolutions (OK, only) was that I wanted-nay-NEEDED my room back, so after she went to sleep, I grabbed a wad of trashbags and set about sorting through the massive nightmare of clutter that would have felled even the most hearty of men (I'm a chick, therefore I could handle it with no problem.)

After about an hour of hearing nothing but the crinkle of trashbags and the clatter of flimsy plastic, I decided to turn the TV on for some company. I flipped through the channels for awhile before deciding on The Andy Griffith Show. I'll admit, I like the show-it's comforting, and doesn't require much thought (normally, I have no problem with thinking, but I was too busy chucking toys and paper into a bag to subject myself to any mental exertion over a tv show.) That being said, it actually DID end up making me think, but it had nothing to do with the shenanigans taking place in Mayberry.

I got to wondering why Andy Griffith was still alive.

Now, now-I don't have any ill will towards Andy: that's not what I'm saying. What I mean is, last year, after Don Knotts died, they had a bunch of people on Larry King who had worked with him, including Andy Griffith. I remember thinking that he wasn't looking so good; he's old, and he seemed a bit addled, and I thought to myself that his time on this mortal coil was looking a bit short. Cut to almost a year later, and as far as I know, he's still kicking.

After I finished with the room (or after I got too tired to go on-I didn't finish cleaning it until this afternoon. It looks GREAT, BTW), I got on the interweb and did some poking around a couple of those celebrity dead pool sites. Some of the names listed on those sites just jumped out at me-I either whole heartedly agreed with the notion that the person would be croaking sometime soon, or I thought they were dead already.

On that note, I have compiled a list of people that, in my opinion, have a tenuous grip on their own mortality. Again, I would like to state that I don't actively dislike any of these people-even if I did, I'm not the type that wishes death on a person. Let me make it known that I don't WANT them to die, but I will say that if any of these folks were to pass away this year, it wouldn't shock the hell out of me (although I would feel a bit creepy if any of them died after I put their name on a list like this), and to drive the point home that I am a stand-up gal, I would never actually bet money on the death of anyone, so if we were to lose any of these folks, I would not benefit financially-that's just gross: The knowledge that I can foretell a visit from the Grim Reaper is all I need, thankyouverymuch.

Estelle Getty
Lady Bird Johnson
Nancy Reagan
Richard Dawson
James Arness
Richard Widmark
Natasha Lyonne
Charlton Heston
Ernest Borgnine
J.D. Salinger
Carl Reiner
Walter Cronkite
Courtney Love
Muhammad Ali
Harry Morgan
Abe Vigoda
Kirk Douglas
Fred Phelps (ok, maybe there's some wishful thinking going on with this one.)

May they all (except Phelps) live long and prosper.