Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Yes, Bruce, They Are Pricks

Harper is on Spring Break this week, and wouldn't you know it, it's rained every day except today. Fortunately it's extremely nice outside this afternoon-sunny, 75 degrees-perfect weather for her to go ride her bike. So a few hours ago, I granted her request to go out and she immediately comes back in and asks "Where's my bike?". I get up and go look and it's nowhere to be seen:some scum sucking, bilge biting rat-bastard stole it.

Who does this? It's an old, crappy bike, the seat cushion is totally gone, it's like sitting on a hemorrhoid generator. Hell, I hope whoever stole it DOES get a scorching case of 'roids, if not worse. Actually, I hope they get polyps and they become so constipated that sitting on the bike would be pure torture, in which case, I hope they have to ride it forever.


Believe it or not, I'm not as enraged as I was when it first happened (if I was, I wouldn't be able to type, the whole post would look like this :"UGCDLHVFOUYR!!). Once my neck cooled off-my neck gets all hot when I get mad-this thing popped into my head. See, I can never get mad enough that I don't remember stupid shit I've seen on tv over the years. It's technically not the same thing, but it's related. If I wanted to be all specific, I'd have to post a review of the Bicycle Thief or something. It's just been so long ago that I saw that and I'm still KIND OF pissed, so I don't think this would be the best time to pontificate about a classic Italian film. As it is, I'm having a hard time following the Fairly Oddparents, which is on tv right now. I think Timmy's in the hospital or something, I dunno.

At least no one stole his bike.