The Princess is in Another Castle

I had planned to watch a movie this weekend and post about it for my 80s movies dealybobber, but I ended up falling under the thrall of "The Dark Knight" instead. Sooooo. I have no 80s movie to post about today.

I will get to it tomorrow or the next day, so until then, enjoy some weirdness courtesy of the Best of Craigslist.

Do you love to play Super Mario Brothers on the Classic Nintendo System? Do you like to get tagged from behind while you do it? This is the post for you then...

You Sho is Ugly

A little change o' pace today:



1985's 'The Color Purple'

Starring: Whoopi Goldberg, Danny Glover, Oprah Winfrey and Margaret Avery. Directed by Steven Speilberg.

Genre: drama

Plot: "How long is Celie gonna put up with that asshole?"

Sister, sister: I've seen this movie a grand total of one time. About three years ago, I was with a group of women you'd think wouldn't be affected by such a thing and all of 'em, including myself, were bawling like big fat babies by the end. It's a very emotionally strong film, mostly because of Whoopi Goldberg. She's so damn cute you just want to drag her home with you and feed her a pot of stew and cover her up with a big blanket. She's less cute by the time she picks up with Oprah and almost cuts her lousy husband's throat, but you want her to kill him, so that's kinda cute too.

However, the movie would be nothing-NOTHING-without Shug Avery, the juke joint singer who befriends Celie after having an affair with her no-good husband. Again, I've only seen it once, but there's two scenes that stand out vividly in my head, both involving Shug. The first one is a scene where Shug sings a song to Celie in the bar. The look on Celie's face throughout the whole thing is priceless.

The second scene deals with Shug and her father, a preacher who has disowned her. Shug's father is raising the daughter that Shug had out of wedlock, and she's the soloist in the church choir. She and the choir are singing a song in a packed church one afternoon while Shug and her friends are outside having a party not far away and Well.. I started bawling while LISTENING to the YouTube clip. I'm such a baby.

Where are they now?:

Whoopi Goldberg has been reduced to doing battle with that pinch-faced republican woman on "The View".

Danny Glover has five movies in the works. I thought maybe he was "getting too old for this shit" but apparently I was mistaken.

Oprah is, well, Oprah. If you've managed to go this long without knowing what she's up to, I'm sure not gonna be the one to tell you.

Margaret Avery was in "Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns" which I have not seen. I can't abide more than two minutes of Madea. Perhaps I'M getting too old for this shit.

You can get it Here.

Earworm

This popped into my head today and I can't get it out, so I'm passing it on to you. Enjoy. Or not. I don't care, I just want it gone.

That Girl is, Was and Always Will Be Nada

Today's movie:



1986's 'Pretty in Pink'

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Harry Dean Stanton, Jon Cryer, Annie Potts, James Spader and Andrew McCarthy.

Genre: Drama

Plot: Andie, A poor emo girl tries to rise above her station in life by falling in love with a dead-eyed rich boy.

Oh God, not her again: I've seen this movie more times than I'd like to admit, and honestly, I'm not sure why. I liked Duckie, and Annie Potts as Andie's punkish boss, but otherwise I was all "Meh". Part of it is because I've never understood the reasoning behind any of Molly Ringwald's characters. In '16 Candles' she has a decent, if goofy family, is well-off financially and she pouts for the whole film. In the 'Breakfast Club', she's popular, rich and she pouts for the whole film. In 'The Stand', her dad is friggin' Dr. Kelso, she manages to snag Gary Sinise and she pouts for the whole film. (Yes, I know most of the planet, including her dad, died. Doesn't matter-she would have pouted regardless.)

And in Pretty in Pink, she's kinda poor, but she has a goofy, sweet best friend who's crazy about her, she has a job in a cool record store with a great boss, she has a bitchin' car, her dad is friggin' Harry Dean Stanton, and she pouts throughout the whoooooooole film.

I don't think the PIP pouting would bother me so much, but for the fact that she was pouting over Andrew McCarthy. She manages to lock-in on the most souless, flat, zombie-ish man in film history and then mopes because she thinks she's too poor to hang with him and James Spader, who's the SECOND most souless man in film history. What the hell is wrong with this girl? Maybe she's short a little soul herself. Witness her reaction here:



Humorless twat.

Where are they now?:

Jon Cryer is on 'Two and a Half Men', which is inexplicably popular.

Andrew Mccarthy has a horror movie in post-production. Shockingly, it's not a zombie movie.

Annie Potts still pops up on various tv shows and films. I'll always have a soft-spot for her because Mary Jo was the character I most related to on 'Designing Women'. Yes, I watched Designing Women and I LIKED it, too.

James Spader stars in the lead role on 'Boston Legal', which I've never watched.

Harry Dean Stanton will probably still be acting long after we're all dead.

You can buy it Here, or you can do yourself one better and get the Soundtrack instead. It's loads better than the movie.

I Want to Kill Everyone, Satan is Good, Satan is Our Pal

Today's movie:



1989's 'The 'burbs'

Starring: Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Rick Ducommun, Corey Feldman, Wendy Schaal, Henry Gibson, Brother Theodore, Courtney Gains and Gale Gordon.

Genre: Comedy

Plotooey: Uptight yuppie and his loony pals become convinced that their new neighbors are devil-worshiping cannibals. They may be right...

There goes the goddamn 'burbs post: I started this post yesterday, but my heart wasn't in it for some reason. I loved this movie, it still makes me laugh like a hyena (that Bruce Dern is a stitch), but writing about it made me feel not quite sad, but something a few levels below sad, somewhere in the "meh" area. Last night while I was in the shower (where all my epiphanies take place), the source of my 'meh' came to me: I miss Tom Hanks.

I'm fully aware that Tom Hanks is still around. I'm not talking about the Tom Hanks that endorses presidential candidates and gets pelted with award statuettes, I'm talking old school Tom: goofy comedic actor with a borderline afro that won my heart with movies like this, not to mention the television classic, 'Bosom Buddies'.

I'm not saying I don't like the movies he's made in the last several years, I do. All I'm saying is the dude needs to make some more comedies. I know you bring down mad accolades when you execute a 7 ft tall Christ-like black man and attempt to return an ungrateful MAAATTTT DAAAAMON home to his family, but enough is enough. He's got the praise, he's got the awards, he's proved his point-he can act. WE GET IT.

I realize that he was kind of typecast back in the 80s as a lovable goofball and he probably wanted to escape that. The thing is, he did escape it, only to be typecast as Mr. Drama. The last non-animated comedy he was in was 'The Terminal' and that wasn't even funny. I'm not saying he has to make Bachelor Party 2 here, just be funny once in a while. Meryl Streep can pull it off, Robert Deniro can pull it off, and they were both in 'The Deer Hunter' for Pete's sake: someone who cut his teeth on this kind of thing can damn sure pull it off. And it's Tom Hanks, so even if he DID make Bachelor Party 2, people would go see the thing. I wouldn't, but I would go see The 'burbs 2.

But only if it's got Bruce Dern in it, because he was HI-Larious in this.

Where are they now?:

Tom's been pretty well covered (and no one would know where he was if I didn't tell you, of course), as has Corey Feldman on the last post. That leaves...

Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher and Courtney Gains all have films in post production and/or being filmed. Also, for future reference I can now say definitively that Courtney Gains-the ginger fellow-was Malachi in 'The Children of the Corn'. Isaac was the guy with the weird voice. I could never remember which was which and I don't think I'm alone in that.

Wendy Schaal is the voice of Francine Smith on 'American Dad'.

Henry Gibson is still kicking and recently had a recurring role on 'Boston Legal'.

Brother Theodore passed away in 2001.

Gale Gordon left us in 1995. Aww, Mr. Mooney.

I did some fairly extensive poking around, at least five minutes worth, but I'm not quite clear what happened to Rick Ducommun. I'm 95% sure he's still doing stand-up comedy, but I wouldn't swear to it in a court of law.

Fetch it Here. Then shut up and paint your goddamned house.

You Guys Wanna See a Dead Body?

Today's movie is:



1986's 'Stand By Me'

Starring: Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldman, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland and Richard Dreyfuss. Directed by Rob Reiner. Based on 'The Body' by Stephen King.

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Coming-of-age

Plot: Four kids go on a trek to see a nasty-ass corpse.

Boom baba, boom baba: Aww, who doesn't love Stand By Me? It's a really sweet movie, especially when you consider the source and the subject matter. Let's look at this "on paper" for a second:

There's a kid-Gordie-whose brother just died. Gordie is a smart, sensitive boy, but his parents liked his brother more and now they just ignore him. His best friend Chris is also a good kid. However, his family is trash and HIS brother is a thug who spends all his time with his greaser buddies. There's Teddy, who's kind of an oddball. He's half-blind, his father is apparently insane and he's abusive to his son-burned his ear off and everything. Then there's Vern. Vern is fat and stupid, which trumps all else.

They get it in their heads to go look at the decaying body of a dead child. They almost get flattened by a train, accosted by leaches, chased by a junkyard dog and stalked by the aforementioned greaser thugs. All of this is brought to you by the guy who came up with 'IT' and 'The Shining' and directed by someone who, until this movie, was best known as Meathead on 'All In The Family'.

...And it was very well-made and poignant as hell, made all the more so by the untimely death of River Phoenix a few years later. So yes, I'm a fan of Stand By Me. It's a great movie with a lot of memorable moments. However, in the interest of fairness, I should admit that I cannot watch this scene without gagging.

Where are they now?:

Wil Wheaton acts periodically and does voice-over work. He has a well-known (and pretty entertaining) Blog and is a fellow Farker. I have nothing bad to say about Wil, at least not since he hung up his Starfleet uniform. God, I hated Wesley.

River Phoenix died of drug-related heart failure in 1993.

Corey Feldman pretty much "screwed the pooch". After a lucrative career as a child and teen actor, he decided he liked drugs and Corey Haim and flushed it all down the crapper. He can still be seen in some D-grade films and various reality shows, including one based on his life with the Haim.

Jerry O'Connell grew up nicely. His acting career is decent enough , he's not fat anymore, he avoided the pitfalls that beset River and Corey and he's married to this. Good on you, Vern.

Kiefer Sutherland fights the turrists on 24 every week. He also fights Christmas trees in his downtime. Little bit of a drinker, that one.

You can purchase Stand By Me Here if you're so inclined.

Super Relax

I'd stab each and every one of you if it meant I could sleep THIS peacefully.



Have a nice weekend everybody.

I Gave Her My Heart, She Gave Me a Pen

Today's movie is:



1989's 'Say Anything'

Starring: John Cusack, Ione Skye, John Mahoney, Lili Taylor, Pamela Adlon and Loren Dean. Directed by Cameron Crowe

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Romance

Ploteroosky: Impossibly perfect boy falls in love with prissy smart girl. Peter Gabriel music ensues.

In yooooouur eyyyeees: Did I have a thing for Lloyd Dobler? Does Raggedy Ann have cotton titties? Come on, now. Cameron Crowe and John Cusack went out of their way to pretty much ruin an entire generation of girls with this movie. They gave us a guy who was smart, sweetly sarcastic, cute, good with kids, had an awesome girl for a BFF, didn't bitch when he had to be the designated driver and he knew how to romance a gal, even if she didn't deserve him in the least-who's gonna measure up to that in life? He also had excellent taste in music:



Peter who?

Here's a frightening notion to ponder-according to IMDB's trivia page on Say Anything, Kirk Cameron was nearly cast as Lloyd. Just let that sink in for a second.

As I have gotten older, I've been able to actually notice other things about the movie besides John/Lloyd, the main thing being Lili Taylor as Corey, Lloyd's non-annoyingly emo best friend who still pines for her ex, Joe. Corey eventually comes to her senses and tells Joe to piss off, but her tortured sad/angry girl song stylings prior to that ("Joe lies, Joe lies, Joe lies, when he cries") are GOLD.

Where are they now?:

John Cusack will never again live up to this, nor Better Odd Dead (and maybe Grosse Point Blank-that was awesome), but he's still making an effort. He's currently working on an anti-war film with...Wait for it...Hillary Duff.

Ione Skye is still around, though not as prolific as she once was. She recently had a brief role in David Fincher's 'Zodiac'.

John Mahoney played Sideshow Bob's dad on an episode of the Simpsons last year. Love him.

Lili Taylor recently completed a couple of film roles and has/had a show on Lifetime, 'State of Mind'.

Pamela Adlon is the voice of Bobby Hill on 'KIng of the Hill', which is apparently still on the air. I had no idea.

Loren Dean is still acting. His role in SA was so small that it really doesn't merit his being here, I just wanted to take this opportunity to say that he was great in 'Mumford' which was a fantastic movie.

Snag a copy Here.

RIP. Damn.

LOS ANGELES, California (CNN) -- Comedian-actor George Carlin, known for his raunchy, but insightful humor, died Sunday in Los Angeles, his publicist said. He was 71.

Jeff Abraham says Carlin went into St. John's Health Center on Sunday afternoon, complaining of chest pain. Carlin died at 5:55 p.m. PDT, the Associated Press reported.

Carlin, who had a history of heart trouble, performed as recently as last weekend at the Orleans Casino and Hotel in Las Vegas.

Carlin was best known for his routine "Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television," which appeared 1972's "Class Clown" album.

When Carlin uttered all seven at a show in Milwaukee in 1972, he was arrested for disturbing the peace, the AP reported. The comedy sketch prompted a landmark indecency case after WBAI-FM radio aired it in 1973.

The case was appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court where the justices ruled on a 5-to-4 vote that the sketch was "indecent but not obscene," giving the FCC broad leeway to determine what constituted indecency on the airwaves.

"So my name is a footnote in American legal history, which I'm perversely kind of proud of," Carlin said. "In the context of that era, it was daring."

Cont.

I'm listening to this in the other window and I'm going to post it here. The subject matter is a bit touchy and I'd probably never post it under normal circumstances, but fuck it, it's my favorite and these aren't normal circumstances.

Darwin Laughs While I Suck My Thumb

I like to think I'm a reasonably intellegent person, but occasionally I have brain fart so epic that it wipes out every smart thing I've ever done.

Last night, I saw a mouse so I went to get a trap for it. I baited the trap with peanut butter and stuck it in the store room, to which the mouse had run. I check the trap today and the little bastard had licked the trap clean without setting it off.

So. I start over and set the trap again, this time baiting it with cheese instead. Before I continue, I'd just like to say that the trap is weirdly made. It's got a piece of fake cheese on it and you're supposed to put the bait on that part of it. The fake cheese sticks up at an odd angle and in my mind, I thought it would be more effective if it was more parallel to the bottom of the trap. I also thought that if a mouse could slurp peanut butter off of it without triggering it, I could just kinda push the fake cheese down a little...

Yeah. Right on my thumbnail. The pain is just now beginning to subside, but my embarrassment will stay with me for quite some time and that's not even the end of it. After I finished making a fool of myself, I took the trap back out to the store room. I put it down and the trap went off and FLUNG the cheese to lord-knows-where. I looked for a few minutes, but ended up just putting another piece on it.

You may mock me in the comments below at your leisure. Thank you and good night.

If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say About Anybody, Come Sit by Me

Today's movie:



1989's 'Steel Magnolias'

Starring: Sally Field, Dolly Parton, Shirley MacLaine, Daryl Hannah, Olympia Dukakis, Julia Roberts, Tom Skerritt, Sam Shepard and Dylan McDermott.

Genre: Comedy/Drama/Chick Flick

Plot: Southern women be gettin' their hair did. Oh, and dying.

Ahh sugar, sugar: I've often joked that, to me, Steel Magnolias is the scariest movie ever made. I'm only half-kidding. Usually when I do these type of movie things, I do them assuming that everyone has seen the movie-I'm not reviewing them here, I'm just shooting the shit, basically. But today, for this one, I'll make an exception and explain part of the plot, and yes, it's a big ol' spoiler if you haven't seen it.

Julia Roberts' character, Shelby, is a diabetic. Shelby is told that while she is able to have children, it would probably be best if she didn't. So what does she do? She gets pregnant, it ends up taking its toll on her body, she goes into a coma and then croaks. My daughter has type 1 diabetes, and, well, it makes it kinda hard to watch now.

That being said, Shelby's diabetes is the dramatic anchor of the movie and aside from that BIG HUGE SCARY plot point, the movie is a comedy. If I could find a way to edit out all the diabetes stuff, I'd watch it all the time, because it's a very funny movie. I have ovaries, I'm from the south and it's got Dolly Parton in it-I'm biologically designed to like this movie, even though I don't care for the chick films. It's got a shitload of quotable lines and the cast-especially Shirley MacLaine-is awesome, save for Daryl Hannah.

I swear, every time I see her in a movie, I think of that Paula Poundstone bit about how if people want to see Daryl Hannah on film that badly, they should stick a picture of her in the corner of the screen, 'cuz she's got no business acting. She's WAY out of her element here and she takes me right out of the movie each time I see it. Until the end when I start bawling, because I can't NOT watch the thing all the way through because I'm apparently a masochist.

In sum: Funny movie. Diabetes is bad. Daryl Hannah may be worse.

"Is Dylan McDermott nice in person?": Since this isn't your typical 80s movie in that it didn't feature any flash-in-the-pan types, I'm gonna spare myself the work on the 'where are they now' section. They were acting before Steel Magnolias, they're still acting now.

Grab it Here.

So it's Sorta Social, Demented and Sad, But Social.

Today's movie is:



1985's 'The Breakfast Club'

Starring: Emilio Estevez, Anthony Michael Hall, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Ally Sheedy and Paul Gleason. Directed by John Hughes.

Genre: Comedy/Drama

Plot: Five cliches spend all day becoming bestest buddies during Saturday in-school-suspension.

Memories: I liked this movie a lot. When I was TEN. I used to spend the night at my cousins' house about once a month back then, and we'd watch this every time. Then we got older and realized that people generally don't fit into neat little pre-packaged stereotypes and we moved on to better films. At least I did. I should call and ask what they think of TBC these days. I've made myself all curious now.

I snark, but I honestly don't think it stands up. It's got a few good lines and I like Paul Gleason in this (which may be why I can't relate to the young people in the movie), but once I grew up a bit and actually WENT to high school, I found I couldn't identify with this movie at all. I was neither an outcast or a popular little teen queen in school, I was just one of the regular kids, just plugging along. I was a bit weird, but I hid it well and I got along with most of my classmates, who, come to think of it, didn't fit any of John Hughes' stereotypes either.

Which is fine. I'm talking about John Hughes here, not high art. It just kinda sucks when you find out that life isn't as easy as you've been led to believe as a child. Yeah, easy. If my peers in high school were as cut and dried as 80s teen movie tropes, I would have been able to rule over their weak-minded asses with an iron fist.

Where are they now?: I really don't care. But...

Emilio Estevez seems to have decided directing is where it's at.

Anthony Michael Hall is in the upcoming Batman movie, 'The Dark Knight'. Ya Rly.

Judd Nelson managed to not die, which is pretty impressive. If you turn the tv over to Cinemax late at night you can still sometimes catch him practicing his craft.

Molly Ringwald had a baby last year and may or may not be on a tv show premiering this summer or this fall. Maybe.

Ally Sheedy is still acting.

Paul Gleason assumed room temperature in 2006. RIP.

You can snag it Here.

Let Her Go, You Bitch!

Today's movie is:



1986's 'Aliens'

Starring: Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn, Lance Henriksen, Carrie Henn, Paul Reiser and Bill Paxton. Directed by James Cameron.

Genre: Science Fiction/Horror

Plot: Most awesome woman ever is unceremoniously awakened from an awesome space nap by that twatty guy from Mad About You. Takes yet another space nap. When she wakes up from THAT nap, she's forced to protect a bunch of space marines, a rare non-annoying film kid and Bishop, the universe's most awesome android (with apologies to Lt. Commander Data) from ugly-ass space boogermonsters.

What I remember: I really don't have any 80s-related memories attached to this. It's just that it's my favorite science fiction film of all time and it was made during the decade in question, so in it goes.

I like pretty much everything about this movie, but if I were forced to choose my 3 favorite things about Aliens, I'd go with Bill Paxton's "GAME OVER!" freak out; the big climactic battle with the alien and Ripley when she's in that exo suit thingamadoo; and This right here. Goddamn, I love Lance Henriksen.

Where are they now?: Welp...

Sigourney Weaver is still being all Sigourney Weaver-ish, although if you ask me, I don't think 'Baby Mama' is an appropriate use of her talents.

Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen seem to have been relegated to the B-movie shelves, which makes me kinda sad. Not too sad though, because between the 2 of them, they've got like 15 movies in post-production. Also, Michael Biehn is a sexy, sexy man.

Paul Reiser seems to be sticking to the writer/producer thing these days.

Bill Paxton has come a relatively long way since appearing as a huge turd in 'Weird Science'. Now he's mainly a metaphorical turd on 'Big Love'. Good show, BTW.

Carrie Henn, who played little Newt, quit acting after her role in Aliens, and is now a school teacher. This is what she looks like now.

You can snag a copy Here.

This is Heavy...

Today's movie is:



1985's 'Back to the Future'

Starring: Michael J. Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson, Crispin Glover and Thomas F. Wilson. Directed by Robert Zemeckis.

Genre: Sci-fi/comedy

What is it?: A teenage boy gets roped into traveling back in time when his loony scientist friend takes a bullet in a mall parking lot. He meets the teenage version of his parents and hijinks? You better believe hijinks ensue.

Back in tiiiime: I remember going to see this movie in the theater on my ninth birthday. I got to choose what we saw since it was my birthday and I chose this because I had a little (huge) crush on Michael J. Fox. I think after the movie, I got to go buy a bunch of crap at Skaggs Alpha Beta, which actually was a pretty decent store, at least to a nine year old.

As for the movie itself, this was my first introduction to the madness that is Crispin Glover, who, in the space of one single Letterman appearance, informed my long-held love for weird people and/or things; Biff still stands as one of my most hated film assholes of all time; and over the past couple decades, I've pretty much perfected my Doc Brown/ Christopher Lloyd impression.

Overall, I think it's a good movie, and pretty clever for it's day, but I've seen it about 11,000,000,000,000 times since then, so the thrill is gone. I do own it though, in case I change my mind and get the urge to watch it. Stranger things have happened.

Where are they now?: The main peeps are still kicking around.

Michael J. Fox occasionally acts, in addition to raising awareness of Parkinson's Disease and Stem Cell Research.

Lea Thompson has mastered the art of the TV movie (nothin' wrong with that).

Tom Wilson still acts, performs stand-up and does voice-over work for cartoons (which everyone in my house knows about after I blurted out-loudly-during a Spongebob episode, "Dude! That fish-guy is totally Biff from Back to the Future!" Similar incidents happen with great frequency in my house. My family loves me anyway.)

Christopher Lloyd is still working, though it's impossible for him to reach the heights of Reverend Jim ever again, not even if he lives to be a thousand.

Crispin Glover is still creeping people out, and recently played the role of Montag the Magnificent in a remake of The Wizard of Gore. Bijou Phillips is apparently in it as well, so I'll be taking a pass.

You can grab it Here, or you can come to my house, we can watch my copy and I'll wow you with my Doc impression. I'm serious, it's uncanny.

No More Yanky My Wanky

I'm starting a new thing here and in the interest of saving time, I'm going to keep the explanation brief.

Harper started summer vacation a little over week ago and it's made me sentimental. When I was a kid, if I wasn't outside during the summer, I was inside watching movies. Being that I grew up in the 80s, well, you can gather what kind of movies I watched. So I've decided to do something similar to the month-long Boogerman-athon I did back in October, only this will be spread out over 3 months and it will be with 80s movies instead of horror movies. And I won't be posting every day, just every couple of days. See, it's totally exactly the same, only different.

First up, in case the blatantly obvious post title didn't give it away:




1984's '16 Candles'

Starring: Molly Ringwald, Justin Henry, Michael Schoeffling, Haviland Morris, Gedde Wantanabe, Anthony Michael Hall and Paul Dooley. Directed by John Hughes

Plot: Spoiled proto-emo girl pouts because her family has more important things to deal with than her birthday.

Genre: Comedy

What I remember about it: You may have sensed some hostility in my plot summary there. I loved the movie, seen it many, many times. But the one thing I came away with after every viewing, was the fact that Samantha Baker was one of the most unsympathetic characters in teen movie history. I can empathize to a point with the whole forgetting the birthday thing, but they lost any shot at pity by making Samantha so unlikable.

Seriously-she does nothing during the entire movie but mope and whine and it grated on my nerves to no end. And we're supposed to want Jake Ryan to leave his teen queen girlfriend, Caroline, who seemed like a genuinely nice person (and also loads of fun if her behavior at the post-dance party was any indication) for HER? What, are you kidding me?

I think one of the main reasons I didn't like Samantha, aside from her being a spoiled brat, was her whole "If you don't know, I'm not going to tell you" passive/aggressive schtick. They forgot your birthday? FUCKING TELL THEM. You'll make out like a bandit later, trust.

On the other hand, as annoying as she was, I still watched the damn thing repeatedly because of the stereotyped awesomeness that was Long Duk Dong, and I still quote his lines on a daily basis, some 24 years (!) later.

Where are they now?: Believe it or not, all the lead actors are still acting, save for one. According to IMDB, Michael Schoeffling (Jake) has a successful business selling hand-crafted furniture in Pennsylvania, where he lives with his family.

In case you haven't seen it, or don't own it, or don't get cable where they show it at least once a month, you can buy a copy of 16 Candles Here.

RIP

LOS ANGELES - Harvey Korman, the tall, versatile comedian who won four Emmys for his outrageously funny contributions to "The Carol Burnett Show" and was seen to hilarious effect on the big screen in "Blazing Saddles," died today. He was 81.

Korman died at UCLA Medical Center after suffering complications from the rupture of an abdominal aortic aneurysm four months ago, his family said in a statement released by the hospital.

A natural second banana, Korman gained attention on "The Danny Kaye Show," appearing in skits with the star. He joined the show in its second season in 1964 and continued until it was canceled in 1967. That same year he became a cast member in the first season of "The Carol Burnett Show."

Mercury News

10 Years Ago Today...

..I was young and newly married and newly pregnant. On this particular date ten years ago, I had made a trip to the local WIC office (in addition to being young, married and pregnant, I was also poor), and the TV in the office was on the news. This was the story they were covering.

I was a huge fan, in addition to being an hormonal, emotional, pregnant wreck, so I started bawling right there in the WIC office. If memory serves, I think I just got up and went home and didn't go to the actual appointment.

Weird, the things you remember.

Happy Birthday Jenner!!

Due to some late-breaking drama and a major lack of sleep, this post will not be as substantial as I wanted (the brain, she ain't working so good). Be that as it may, I was damned and determined to acknowledge your birthday here, and yes, I know I'm a day early.

YouTube didn't have the CG clip I wanted to post, but this one fits perfectly with the topic at hand. Oh and check your blog-I left you a present there as well (and I'm fighting the urge to make a poop joke here...Heh, I said 'urge' and 'poop' in the same sentence.) Happy birthday, Jenner, and it goes without saying-but we still say it, that's our way-I love you very, very much.

Happy Birthday Melissa!

I know I'm a couple days early, but I have a potentially busy weekend ahead of me, so I thought it best to err on the side of caution and get this up now. I had every intention of sending you something in the mail, but due to, well, stuff, I never got the chance.

I debated a good bit on what to post, before my elephantine memory pointed me towards this. Enjoy, I love you and I hope you have a great birthday weekend!

Bzzzzzzzz

We've got half as many puppies as before: today Molly, Gracie and Rory all went to new homes. Gracie and Molly are still together and Rory's new owners have a couple of other pets, so hopefully they will adjust quickly. Or that's what I keep telling myself to keep from crying.

No, actually, I'm super, thanks for asking. The other 3 have kept me pretty occupied. Plus I had no sleep last night, which has made me extra, EXTRA busy. I don't know what it is, but when I suffer from an hellish lack of sleep, I get a lot of energy. Much like Apu on the Simpsons when he worked for like 4 days straight and he got so wound up he thought he was a hummingbird. That's me today-Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I don't know where I'm going with this exactly-I'm starting to think I posted just so I could work in that Apu reference. Like I say, I've had NO sleep, so I can't be held accountable for any rambling nonsense I post.

No, wait, I know what it was. It's pitchuhs', I gots pitchuhs of the puppies. These were taken in the last couple weeks, while we still had all of them. They're between 5-6 weeks old in them and it goes without saying, cute. as. hell.

Rapid Random Rubbish

I've been super-busy this week due to some major drama that really isn't appropriate to talk about here. I mean, I could, but it would be disrespectful to my family as a whole, and as rude as I may seem, deep down I'm all about decorum. You understand.

Once things die down 'round heah', I'll get around to picking a movie and crowning a winner in the "What Should Jamie Watch" contest. Yes, I gave it a name. I'm a nerd. I haven't decided what the winner will get yet, but I can assure you, it will be a major award.*

I did have some time today, so I thought I'd get a quick post up. Only a couple of things to cover, neither of them very important, and both completely unrelated to each other. First up, my iPod.

Recently, I got around to actually rating the songs I have on there-all 700+-and last night while adding some more songs on iTunes, I got to poking around.



If that screencap is to be believed (you might have to click on it to make it big enough to read), those are my favorite songs, if you go by the ratings. I would never have guessed. Neil Diamond? Really?

The second thing I wanted to mention: Remember last year when I posted about that family who keeps squirting out crotch dropplings? Do you? Well, guess what. As both a godless heathen and as someone whose uterus cried 'Uncle!" after just one child, I'm perpetually horrified and fascinated by those folks.

I don't have a third thing, so in keeping with the random theme, I give you an LOLcat.




*Note: the winner will NOT get a Christmas Story Leg Lamp. If I had one, do you REALLY think I'd give it away?

I Didn't Know Barney Rubble Went Into Journalism...

I need a laugh (I'm fine, btw, just want a good chuckle) and this video always delivers. Have a good weekend, everyone.

Rutting Netflix

I'm in a weird area of my life right now. On the plus side, Harper is doing well, my mom is recovering nicely from surgery and my neighbors-THOSE neighbors-are moving as I type this. On the downside, due to my mom's surgery, the fact that my nephew still hasn't moved out and my dad becoming the laziest man alive since he retired, I have oodles of household responsibilities now. Which is to say I have to do EVERYTHING in the house.

They leave their trash everywhere, and I have to pick it up and take it out. Their laundry, I do it, in addition to mine and Harper's. I have to tend to the pets, all ELEVEN of them. Clean the kitchen, do the floors, scrub the funk out of the toilet, dust, listen to everyone bitch and moan and stand by and watch as my spoiled nephew reduces our front yard to something out of Tobacco Road. It's not so much the chore-type stuff, it's the little things. If you finish off an entire can of Pringles, throw the fucking can in the fucking trash. Is it THAT hard? Really? Jesus Christ. It's legally my house now, but when that happened, I didn't realize that meant everyone else here would suddenly not give a shit anymore. Mercy.

As a reward for my endless work, I've managed to acquire a new bedspread (This here) and a badly needed new pair of sneakers (Them there). They're nice and all, but somehow they don't quite alleviate all of my stress.

Used to, when I reached my breaking point, I'd watch a movie and it would make me feel better. But lately I've come to realize that I'm in a film rut. I get all these movies from Netflix and half the time I send them back unwatched. The other half, I do watch them and can't even pay attention. The last movie I watched and thoroughly enjoyed, believe it or not, was Enchanted. And that was only because Harper was watching it in my room, otherwise I wouldn't have made it through it. Honestly, aside from that I don't think I've watched an entire movie in months. I still watch TV, mainly Scrubs reruns and my recent obsession, Corner Gas (Goddamn you.)

As much as I enjoy those shows, not to mention an endless supply of cartoons, I miss watching movies. This is where YOU people come in.

I need recommendations. I don't care the genre (except love stories-that's a big DO NOT WANT there), just any movies you guys like a lot. One thing though, I don't want any shitty movies. I like schlock as much as the next nerd, but what I'm looking for is a movie that will rock my face off.

Translation: I don't want 'good-bad' I want 'good-GOOD'.

I don't think I've ever asked for this kind of advice on here before, so just be sports and indulge me. I'll even sweeten the deal for you: if I pick your recommendation and I like it, I'll give you something. I don't know what, but I'll do my best to make it something tangible. That's only if I like it, though; if it sucks, I'll hunt you down like a dog and make you watch David Hassellhoff's "Hooked on a Feeling" video until your eyes bleed.

Get cracking and don't let me down, people.

Gogol Bordello-'Start Wearing Purple'

This is stuck in my head hence, I'm posting it.

I'll try to get back to posting semi-regularly soon. Things are rather hectic for me right now, to put it mildly. Puppies, Harper's sick and my mom is having surgery tomorrow.

The good times are killing me.

Pups-n-Stuff

As I reported back at the beginning of February, my dogs Pepper and Patches became involved in a torrid affair. Patches was all of 6 months old at the time, while Pepper was around 4 and a half, which makes her a Beagle/Daschund/Cougar mix, apparently. Since Patches was so young, we hadn't had him fixed yet, as we were under the horribly mistaken illusion that he was too young to breed. We hadn't had Pepper fixed because up until that point, she hadn't been around any other males dogs for any length of time. We thought at one time she might be pregnant, but it turned out to be a false pregnancy, and not the last time, either.

Long story short: as of this writing, Patches' nads are a distant memory, and my bedroom is now a flophouse for 9 dogs: Pepper, Patches, Lily and Pepper's 6 puppies. They were born last Tuesday, and until yesterday, they along with Pepper were staying in Harper's room, which is also where they were born.

Pepper is a wonderful mother-for the first week, she didn't leave them except for very brief bathroom breaks. If anyone picked up one of the puppies, she'd flip her shit until they were returned to her side. Of course, a gal can only take so much and over the weekend, she decided that she missed being around her people, so I carted the whole bunch of them in here. Now she spends most of her time nursing, getting frequent belly rubs, begging for scraps and standing vigil against Lily and Patches. Lily and Patches have no ill will to the pups; aside from some curiousity, they don't pay much attention to them. But if they so much as darken Pepper's side of the room, she barks her head off.


I'm rambling a little, so I'll wrap it up. The reason I'm posting is because my sister came by today and took some pictures of the new family and I wanted to share them because they're just so darn cute I could plotz.


The proud Papa. He's grown quite a bit since the last time I posted about him:



Miss Thang:



Clockwise from left, Molly, Zach, Rory, Maggie, Gracie (middle) and Botwo:



Gracie and Rory:




Note Maggie, the chubby brown and white one in the middle. She's like that about 98% of the time:



I love this picture. The look on Pepper's face just says it all:

RIP

I ruminated a good while on whether to post about this or not. I wasn't exactly a fan of his, and I'll admit that some of that had to do with his politics: I don't have anything against guns but come ON. In the end I decided that anything bad I think about him can't stand up to This.

Or This.

Or OMFG THIS!

This was pretty good, too. Really underrated, sweet gem of a movie. So underrated that there's not even a trailer for it on YouTube. Seriously, it's really cute-if you ever find yourself in a sappy mood, check it out.

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Actor Charlton Heston, whose chiseled features and commanding presence won him epic roles from Moses to Michelangelo, died on Saturday night at the age of 84, his family said.


The Oscar-winning Heston, a former president of the influential National Rifle Association lobbying group, died at his home in Beverly Hills with his wife Lydia at his side, the family said in a statement.

Heston had announced in 2002 that he was suffering symptoms of Alzheimer's disease.

"To his loving friends, colleagues and fans, we appreciate your heartfelt prayers and support. Charlton Heston was seen by the world as larger than life," the family said.

"No one could ask for a fuller life than his. No man could have given more to his family, to his profession, and to his country. In his own words, 'I have lived such a wonderful life! I've lived enough for two people'," the statement added.

The family said a private memorial service would be held.

In his heyday, Heston's rugged features and conservative lifestyle seemed to belong to another age. As director Anthony Mann said: "Put a toga on him and he looks perfect." Frank Sinatra once joked: "That guy Heston has to watch it. If he's not careful, he'll get actors a good name."...

Yahoo News

Happy Easter Everybody

RIP

Science-fiction writer Arthur C. Clarke, who co-wrote the epic film "2001: A Space Odyssey" and raised the idea of communications satellites in the 1940s, died Wednesday at age 90, an associate confirmed.

Clarke died early Wednesday at a hospital in Colombo, Sri Lanka, where he had lived since the 1950s, said Scott Chase, the secretary of the nonprofit Arthur C. Clarke Foundation.

"He had been taken to hospital in what we had hoped was one of the slings and arrows of being 90, but in this case it was his final visit," Chase said.

Clarke and director Stanley Kubrick shared an Academy Award nomination for best adapted screenplay for "2001."

The film grew out of Clarke's 1951 short story, "The Sentinel," about an alien artifact left on the moon.

CNN

Harper's Bizarre

I haven't done one of these in awhile. Used to when I would post these, I'd say a little something about any issues that Harper was having in her life at the time. Thankfully, there's really nothing to say right now. Things are fairly mellow for her lately-she even got her bike back (more on that in the comments on the post below.) She's still dealing with some of the same old issues, but things seem to be in somewhat of a holding pattern for now.

Translation: Things aren't great, but they ain't too bad either. At the very least, I don't have that worried, gnawing feeling in my stomach right this minute, so that's good enough for me.

The reason I haven't done one of these H.B. posts in several months is because she hasn't been pilfering through my CDs much. Well, she still does occasionally, but when she does, she seems to hone in on something embarrassing (you don't need to know that I have a CD that features the theme song to St. Elmo's Fire in my possession. And you don't need to know that my kid likes to listen to it. Yet here I am telling you about it. I fail.) Besides all that, she's got her own music to root through now, so I guess the allure of mommy's music is no match for the musical juggernaut that is Hannah Montana.

Except for this. She's been playing this one like crazy lately. I have to say, it's a joy to watch her when she listens to it: she bounces around like a ball, shakes her bootay and screams "SO WHAT!" at the top of her lungs. It makes me so proud, I can't even tell you.

Yes, Bruce, They Are Pricks

Harper is on Spring Break this week, and wouldn't you know it, it's rained every day except today. Fortunately it's extremely nice outside this afternoon-sunny, 75 degrees-perfect weather for her to go ride her bike. So a few hours ago, I granted her request to go out and she immediately comes back in and asks "Where's my bike?". I get up and go look and it's nowhere to be seen:some scum sucking, bilge biting rat-bastard stole it.

Who does this? It's an old, crappy bike, the seat cushion is totally gone, it's like sitting on a hemorrhoid generator. Hell, I hope whoever stole it DOES get a scorching case of 'roids, if not worse. Actually, I hope they get polyps and they become so constipated that sitting on the bike would be pure torture, in which case, I hope they have to ride it forever.

Sonofabitch.

Believe it or not, I'm not as enraged as I was when it first happened (if I was, I wouldn't be able to type, the whole post would look like this :"UGCDLHVFOUYR!!). Once my neck cooled off-my neck gets all hot when I get mad-this thing popped into my head. See, I can never get mad enough that I don't remember stupid shit I've seen on tv over the years. It's technically not the same thing, but it's related. If I wanted to be all specific, I'd have to post a review of the Bicycle Thief or something. It's just been so long ago that I saw that and I'm still KIND OF pissed, so I don't think this would be the best time to pontificate about a classic Italian film. As it is, I'm having a hard time following the Fairly Oddparents, which is on tv right now. I think Timmy's in the hospital or something, I dunno.

At least no one stole his bike.

I'd Feel Sorry for Her if I Liked Her

I looked at this photo of Patricia Heaton of 'Everybody Loves Raymond' fame for a solid 2 minutes, wondering why it gave me the creeps. After a close-up examination, the answer came to me like a shot. Can you figure out what's wrong with this woman picture?

The Crazy 88's Can Kiss My Patootie

Last night, due to some Ghostworld talk(haven't seen it? Do it. Now. Go, go, go!), I had a hankering to see a clip from the movie. In particular, the opening sequence where Enid (the delightful Thora Birch) is watching the 1965 Bollywood film Gumnaam. This clip is technically from Gumnaam and Thora Birch is nowhere to be seen in it, so there's really no need for me to mention Ghostworld, other than to use it as an excuse to get as many people to watch it as possible.

This song and the clip itself make me want to bounce off the walls like a wild woman. It's just so peppy and cool and campy that I can't take it, and for a lazy hag me, that's saying something.

By the by, if you've seen Kill Bill, this might seem a little familiar. I'm just speculating, but I'm thinking that Quentin Tarantino has seen Gumnaam at some point. Again, I'm just running this up the flagpole, but this scene brings to mind the fight sequence in KB between the Bride and the Crazy 88's. And once again, this is just my theory. Of course, I wouldn't say it if I wasn't right, but I have to put a disclaimer in there, regardless. Ahem.

Bill Withers-'Ain't No Sunshine'

Just because.

Enough Already

I really, really, REALLY don't like to get into politics or other similarly touchy topics on this blog, but this is driving me nuts and I have to say something.

There seems to be a proliferation of stories and opinions concerning the current democratic presidential race that say things like this:

""They're running to the rock star, to the momentum, to the excitement...And I am worried that if Hillary doesn't get elected, I am never going to see a woman president in my lifetime. I do think her chances are slipping away, and it [ticks] me off."

I'll say it right off: I'm a feminist. I was raised to believe that just because I'm female, it didn't necessarily make me weaker or less valuable a person than a man. I read stuff like Ms. Magazine while in my teens and it helped to form the-arguably-strong woman I am today. The thing is, while I read all of the feminist literature I could get my hands on, due to the common sense that was also instilled in me by my parents, I never had the notion that I deserved something just BECAUSE I was a woman.

My issue with comments like the above, is that in almost every article I've read like that, they never make a mention of Clinton's stand on any issues. Not her voting record, nothing except her gender, and they all have the tone of "we want a president with a vagina, it doesn't matter WHO it belongs to".

At first I thought that opinion was held mainly by the old-school 2nd Wave feminists, the ones who fought so hard for abortion rights and equality in the workplace that, along the way, some of them became slightly blind to reality. It comes down to a matter of age and experience in some ways. Or so I thought until Tina Fey's "Bitch is the new black" rant on Saturday Night Live last week:

“Women have come so far as feminists that they don’t feel obligated to vote for a candidate just because she’s a woman. Women today feel perfectly free to vote for whoever Oprah tells them to.”

Completely ignoring the asinine Oprah dig, I'm a little baffled that the first comment could possibly be used as an insult. I thought for sure she was being sarcastic-it's Tina Fey for god's sake, she makes a living doing comedy. But the consensus seems to be that she was for real, and if she is, she dropped quite bit in my esteem. No one with any sense should feel obligated to vote for someone JUST BECAUSE they're a woman, or JUST BECAUSE they're black, or white or for any other ultimately shallow reason. How many people voted George W. Bush into office because he was the one they'd "rather have a beer with"?

Am I going to vote for Hillary Clinton? No. Is it because she's a woman? No. Do I want a woman president someday? Absolutely, if she's qualified. Do I think there are people out there that won't vote for her because she is? Of course I do, and those people are idiots, but equally idiotic are the ones who'd vote FOR her based only on that reason. I don't truly believe that Tina Fey or any of the others are voting for her based on the gender issue alone, but when they focus on that and ignore everything else they lose credibility and so does their candidate, and really, anyone else who would vote for her based on politics does as well.

I guess my point with all of this is that, this is the highest office a person in this country can hold. As we've learned this last go-round, they can make some life changing decisions for the rest of us, whether we like it or not. So for our own sakes, we have GOT to ignore the outer trappings of the candidates and focus on what they stand for, or we could very possibly be in some deep doo-doo in the next 4 years. So if you want to vote for Hillary Clinton, fine, that's your call. But if you do, make sure you do it for the right reasons. 'K?

It's Official: I'm a Mutant

Fear me.

About 6 or 7 years ago, I managed to break one of my upper right premolars. I held off doing anything about it for a couple months, until it eroded enough that the nerve became exposed and I was praying for death. So I went to the dentist and had him yank it out. No fuss, no muss-that was the end of that, right?

Nuh uh.

This morning I felt this weird not-quite-pain where the premolar once was. I ran my tongue across it and I felt something hard. I thought maybe I had a piece of food stuck in there so I poked at it with my finger (and looked damn classy while doing so, I must say) and it didn't budge. So I go get a mirror and take a look and sure enough, there's a new got-dang tooth springing up in my 31 year-old mouth.

Before anyone says it: it wasn't a baby tooth. I did all my tooth losing and growing when I was still in elementary school. So the only other possible explanation is that I'm just a freak of nature. It's weird enough that I don't have any underarm hair (nada, nothing, not even fuzz. Not that I mind), now I've got unexpected replacement choppers forming.

Hell, maybe it's some kind of strange karmic reward. I've always gone out of my way to practice proper oral hygiene, and aside from breaking the tooth to begin with, I've never had any problems with my teeth-not one cavity (we'll just gloss over the wisdom teeth chapter of "My Adventures With Dentistry"). That's more comforting than the other explanation, which is that I've become something akin to a sideshow attraction and will soon have to start hanging out with the bearded lady (mom?) and the beloved Bat Boy.

Actually, that would be a pretty sweet deal, so I guess I win either way.

Filmed in Glorious Sphinctervision

I thought about posting a movie today like I used to, but I couldn't find one that suited my mood. Instead, I'm just posting an old music video.

I'd say something about it, but I'm too flabbergasted to come up with a description. All I can say is it would take some cheese of epic proportions to replace The Shatner's spectacular(ly bad) cover of Rocket Man in my heart. This doesn't quite cut it, but I'd say Telly has come closer than anyone ever will.

This Man is Wearing a Push-up Bra. Now he is Pleasing

Today is the 48th birthday of Joel Hodgson, creator and original host of MST3k. In the interest of full disclosure, when I was in my late teens, I would have gladly offered him my hand in marriage had the opportunity arisen.

In honor of this day, I've made a top 5 list of my favorite Joel episodes of MST3k (difficulty: no Manos) and I'm including one of my favorite shorts.

1. Eegah!
2. The Amazing Colossal Man (The episode that broke my MST3k cherry, as it were.)
3. Mitchell (Joel's last episode as host, and the only episode that ever made me cry.)
4. Attack of the Eye Creatures
5. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster

Sunday Music Dump

I feel blechy and I don't feel like deciding what songs to post. Plus, the site I usually use is all wiggy lately and I don't wanna do battle with it. But if you want some music, feel free to use This. To paraphrase a televison ad from my youth: You do all the work so I don't have to.

Stress, Strife and Stupidity

I haven't posted in awhile and since my absence has been noted by at least one person, I figured an explanation was in order (that, and I want to purge my brain a little.)

I don't feel like going into the exact details of everything that's gone on in the last few weeks, so here's the basic info about the big offenders:

My nephew. He's been living with us (me, Harper and my parents) full-time since the day before Thanksgiving. He and his mom had a falling-out due to his behavior so my mom told him he could stay here. Well, his behavior has gotten worse since then and he and I had a scuffle last friday. We're getting along ok now, but his attitude and the things that have happened due to that have caused a great deal of unease in the house. Which leads me to...

My parents. My mom has pretty much had enough of my nephew, but she doesn't quite know what to do about it. She knows that there's only a couple of things she can do to get him to straighten up, but they're the hard choices. She's been put in that position before by other people (including me) and when it came down to it, she was capable of doing the whole 'tough love' bit and it worked each time. But the thing about tough love, is it's just as tough on the person doing the loving as it is on the victim, er, recipient. So for now, she's not doing anything, and her nerves are shot because of it which is making her moody as hell, WHICH in turn, is making everyone around her (except my nephew, of course) miserable.

Add to that, my dad retired right before Christmas and he's kinda got ants in the pants about it. He's not used to not working and being home and being forced to endure all the drama has him pretty fed up. So he and my mom are tense with each other, and I get to listen to her wondering why he's so distant and cranky lately. The mind boggles, mom.

My precious pets. Pepper went in heat 2 weeks ago and last week, she was in full-on whore mode. Patches, my boy, my little sweet baby, couldn't handle it. He whined and sniffed and humped and finally he managed to seal the deal. Repeatedly. So in a few months, I may be the proud owner (briefly-I can't keep them) of even more dogs. On a related note, he has an appointment with the vet on Monday morning...

Then there's Harper. Things are rough for her lately. Her best friend decided her didn't want to be friends with her at all anymore, and he made it known in the snottiest, meanest way possible. Then she had an appointment with her psychiatrist last week and he switched her medication. It hasn't started to fully work yet, and she's gotten marks against her in her school folder every day this week. On top of that, I had to call the school nurse to tell her about the change in meds and I swear to god, a more priggish, condescending woman you will never meet. I think my biggest pet peeve is people telling me shit that I already know and acting like they just laid some capital-K Knowledge on me and in that conversation she did it ten times over.

That's not even half of everything, that's just all I'm willing to talk about here. All I can say about the rest of it, is that the words "Bipolar disorder", "Community Service" and "Homeschooling" are involved. They aren't assigned to just one person, I just say it to give you a general idea of what I refuse to come out and say directly.

So I have to deal with all of this. Everyone else has their own drama going on, so I don't get to talk about it (minus those of you that know the whole story-my friends who live in the internets have been great). Plus, I'm one of those people who other people like to tell their problems to and the thing about people like us, is that we're not supposed to have issues. We're not supposed to have our own drama to deal with. We're not supposed to vent or bitch, we're there to listen to THEM and if we're stressed we're just supposed to suck it up and deal. Fuck that noise, goddammit. I'm tense as hell and I'm ready to climb the water tower across the street and start picking people off. 'Course, I don't have a gun, so I'd probably just end up chucking peanuts at passing cars or something.

So....For those of you wondering why I haven't been posting, now you know.