Sunday, April 12, 2009

Luke, Does This Robe Make Me Look Fat?

This morning I dragged my ass out of bed at 7am so that I could get myself and my offspring ready for the Passion Play at her church (she goes with my dad on wedensdays and sundays-I, being an amoral heathen, do not attend services.) H was in the play, she got to wear a robe and one of those Iron Sheik looking doohickeys on her head and wave a palm frond around and she did fabulously, of course. I'm very proud of her.

As for me, I actually enjoyed myself, which is a rare occurrence as far as me in church is concerned. But I did, I truly did. Saw some old friends, some current friends, managed to successfully dodge the nosy old church ladies and had a couple of laughs.

On the subject of laughs, I DID almost have an embarrassing moment at what would have been the most inappropriate time EVER. I'm sitting in of those torturous pews watching the play and it's at the part where Jesus is carrying the cross on his back and the Roman soldiers are poking at him with spears and he's miserable and all. It took forever so I start looking around and I notice the tomb that he's gonna pop out of later and there's a big-ass boulder in front of it. For most people this wouldn't prompt laughter, but for me, it almost did.

My mind is an overflowing fount of useless tv and movie trivia. I honestly don't watch much tv now, but I did when I was younger and even now when I see something, it only takes one time and it's lodged in my head forever. I'm not bragging, in fact I'm kind of shamed by it. Not like big, huge shame or anything, more of a "Great, if people didn't think I was a dork BEFORE they will now" kinda shame. No big deal, I guess it's just my cross to bear.


But I digress. Anyhoot, I'm sitting there watching Jesus slouch to his doom, see the tomb and I remembered a bit by David Cross when he was on Dr. Katz like 15 years ago. It was a 90 second or so riff on Jesus and of all the times I could have regurgitated it up in my head, it had to happen at THAT MOMENT.

Thankfully somehow, I managed to stifle the laugh-didn't even snort (which would have been worse)-and another cringe inducing interlude in a life filled with such was averted. And THAT my friends, is a real Easter miracle.

Dr. Katz
DVD Exclusive - David Cross on Jesus
Joke of the DayStand-Up ComedyFree Online Games