Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I Want to Kill Everyone, Satan is Good, Satan is Our Pal

Today's movie:

1989's 'The 'burbs'

Starring: Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Rick Ducommun, Corey Feldman, Wendy Schaal, Henry Gibson, Brother Theodore, Courtney Gains and Gale Gordon.

Genre: Comedy

Plotooey: Uptight yuppie and his loony pals become convinced that their new neighbors are devil-worshiping cannibals. They may be right...

There goes the goddamn 'burbs post: I started this post yesterday, but my heart wasn't in it for some reason. I loved this movie, it still makes me laugh like a hyena (that Bruce Dern is a stitch), but writing about it made me feel not quite sad, but something a few levels below sad, somewhere in the "meh" area. Last night while I was in the shower (where all my epiphanies take place), the source of my 'meh' came to me: I miss Tom Hanks.

I'm fully aware that Tom Hanks is still around. I'm not talking about the Tom Hanks that endorses presidential candidates and gets pelted with award statuettes, I'm talking old school Tom: goofy comedic actor with a borderline afro that won my heart with movies like this, not to mention the television classic, 'Bosom Buddies'.

I'm not saying I don't like the movies he's made in the last several years, I do. All I'm saying is the dude needs to make some more comedies. I know you bring down mad accolades when you execute a 7 ft tall Christ-like black man and attempt to return an ungrateful MAAATTTT DAAAAMON home to his family, but enough is enough. He's got the praise, he's got the awards, he's proved his point-he can act. WE GET IT.

I realize that he was kind of typecast back in the 80s as a lovable goofball and he probably wanted to escape that. The thing is, he did escape it, only to be typecast as Mr. Drama. The last non-animated comedy he was in was 'The Terminal' and that wasn't even funny. I'm not saying he has to make Bachelor Party 2 here, just be funny once in a while. Meryl Streep can pull it off, Robert Deniro can pull it off, and they were both in 'The Deer Hunter' for Pete's sake: someone who cut his teeth on this kind of thing can damn sure pull it off. And it's Tom Hanks, so even if he DID make Bachelor Party 2, people would go see the thing. I wouldn't, but I would go see The 'burbs 2.

But only if it's got Bruce Dern in it, because he was HI-Larious in this.

Where are they now?:

Tom's been pretty well covered (and no one would know where he was if I didn't tell you, of course), as has Corey Feldman on the last post. That leaves...

Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher and Courtney Gains all have films in post production and/or being filmed. Also, for future reference I can now say definitively that Courtney Gains-the ginger fellow-was Malachi in 'The Children of the Corn'. Isaac was the guy with the weird voice. I could never remember which was which and I don't think I'm alone in that.

Wendy Schaal is the voice of Francine Smith on 'American Dad'.

Henry Gibson is still kicking and recently had a recurring role on 'Boston Legal'.

Brother Theodore passed away in 2001.

Gale Gordon left us in 1995. Aww, Mr. Mooney.

I did some fairly extensive poking around, at least five minutes worth, but I'm not quite clear what happened to Rick Ducommun. I'm 95% sure he's still doing stand-up comedy, but I wouldn't swear to it in a court of law.

Fetch it Here. Then shut up and paint your goddamned house.