Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Obligitory Thanksgiving Post

I watched a Charlie Brown Thanksgiving earlier this evening, much as I do every year, and as always I came away with more questions than answers. For instance: Snoopy prepares a lavish feast of pretzels, jellybeans, and enough toast and popcorn to nourish a small country. Why that food? I mean, how much more trouble would it have been to shove a turkey in the oven? Not that hard. And you already had all that toast-add some broth and celery and go ahead and make the damn dressing.

And what's up with those kids? Do they not have homes to go to? That butchy Peppermint Patty just straight-up invited herself and an arseload of other kids to Charlie Brown's house and expected him to feed them and then had the gall to complain when the meal wasn't up to her standards. Then Charlie Brown remembered that he and Sally had to go to his Grandmother's house to eat and got all worried about being a bad host so he invited those ungrateful shits to go with him-which I'm sure they didn't appreciate. Seriously man, no wonder he became a surly heroin addict.

You know what, though? Now that I think about it, Snoopy did make a turkey for himself and Woodstock there at the end, so perhaps he made the crappy meal as revenge for Patty's rudeness. Maybe ol' Snoop is smarter than I thought. 'Course, that brings up a new set of questions, not the least of which is why in the hell Woodstock would eat turkey, since he's also a bird, which would kinda make him a cannibal.


I'm going to be busy the next couple of days, so I figured I'd go ahead and get a holiday post up. I don't have much to say other than my scathing indictment of A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving, and so I bring you This (and this, this, and this-sorry, it's in four parts), which is arguably the most classic Thanksgiving episode of any TV show, ever (and no, it's not a CB Thanksgiving.)

If I don't post anything between now and Thursday-and I don't know why I would-I would like to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving!