Friday, March 30, 2007

Harper's Bizarre

Bit of a mini update..

Awhile back, I posted about Harper's school telling me to consider taking her to a psychologist to get tested, due to her behavior, and problems focusing on her studies. Weeeeeellll, today was her first appointment, and although I was extremely nervous, it went pretty well, and the doctor didn't say anything I didn't know already. He thinks that she exhibits signs of ADHD, but he's not willing to make a diagnosis until she's tested, which will be done in 2 weeks or so. There's more to all of it than that-nothing major-but I feel uncomfortable laying it all out in a blog post. As it is, I'm just glad the first appointment is over, and hopefully, with that tension out of the way, I'll be able to quit grinding my teeth while I sleep (my jaw HOITS, man.)

A song seems kinda superfluous, but I haven't done a Harper's Bizarre in a while, so I'll just slap this baby up there. I have no idea why she likes this song, but she does. I USED to like it, until every tv show and teen movie made from 1996 to 2000 included it on their soundtrack. It's still a good song, but I can't hear it now without thinking of Buffy and Angel dancing at the prom, after he was all "No, I can't take you, I used to be all evil, and now I gotta brood, blah-dy, blah-dy, blah" and she was all "But Angel, I looooove you, I don't care that you used to kill people and torture puppies. I don't care that we can't have sex because if we do, you'll get all evil and funny and not-whiny and start wearing leather pants again-we belong together. WAAAAH!" but then he showed up in a tux and stuff after Buffy got that sweet 'Class Protecter' umbrella and they danced and they were all happy and everything until the next episode, when Faith and the Mayor...

Oops, I went off on a little Buffy tangent. Sorry, sorry, it won't happen again.

Yeah, right...

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Shaving IQ Points

I had a bit of a stressful day yesterday, and in an effort to get my mind off of things, late in the day I sat down in front of the tv and channel surfed for a bit. My search criteria was only that I didn't have to think about what I was watching, and, if possible, it was to be something that would end up making me feel superior. Now, I was fully aware of the existence of this program, and had seen bits and pieces of it over the years, but I'd never sat down and watched an entire hour of it. After the hour was over, I was filled with a mix of bemusement, horror, smugness, nausea, and a big old helping of schadenfreude.

Ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, on March 27 2007, I sat down and watched my very first full "You Are NOT the Father!" episode of Maury.

Like I said, I had seen bits and pieces of it over the years, but actually watching a whole hour, one person after the other who feels the need to procure a DNA test to determine the identity of their baby daddy, is much, much worse(better?) Over the course of the hour, there was not one person who had any redeeming qualities whatsoever-it was an endless parade of trash, and as much as I hate to admit it, I'm thinking it won't be the last time I watch it. What does that say about me? Does it make me a bad person that, when the paternity test proved to be negative, the reactions of both the non-baby daddy and the slut-mama made me bray like a jackass on pot? Well, I don't care: after a bad day, I think everyone is entitled to have a laugh at the expense of the dregs of society, and if that makes me wrong, I don't wanna be right. Besides, if they didn't want us to mock them, they wouldn't have gone on Maury.

I know I'm probably the last person on the face of the Earth who hadn't watched an episode, but I invite you all to laugh with me, so I'm including a couple of clips. Unfortunately, these people weren't on the one I watched...No I take back the 'unfortunately'-if they had been on there, with the mood I was in, I probably would have gone into hysterics and subsequently had a stroke. So, watch, enjoy, bask in the glow of feeling superior to another human being. You know you want to.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

Watch Out For Snakes.

I was going to post my usual little sunday music thingamabob today, but I just wasn't in the mood. You know, I have to go and pick 5 or 6 different songs, pick out some purty colors for the players, and then drag all of it back here, not to mention choosing a cool picture to complete the experience. Pah, I'm TIRED! I don't have time for all of that mess today, so instead, I'm returning to my roots and presenting a film.

Now, due to some recent-ish misadventures in movie posting, I've decided on a public domain flick, because I'm sick of posting stuff, and then lo and behold, it gets removed a day later. It agitates me, and being the type of person I am, it makes me feel a little guilty. Not guilty because I posted copyrighted material-hell, I didn't upload "insert-movie/tv-show-title-here", but because I feel somehow responsible for those videos being removed, and that means that other people don't get to see it. One day I will post a long-winded schpiel on how people need to stop getting their panties in a wad over sites like YouTube, but as I said, I'M TIRED.

And I digress. Today, I am posting one of my top 5 worst films ever made, "Eegah!" (or part of Eegah, but you aren't missing anything by not seeing the whole thing, trust me.) Eegah was featured on MST3k many moons ago, and it was hilarious of course. I'd much rather post that version, but, well, you know...But even on it's own, it's...Okay, it sucks, it sucks bad, but it's a good kind of suck, and I'm kind of fond of it, although it's not on a par with say, Reefer Madness, it's got it's charm...Okay, I lied, it has no charm, it's bad, it's very, very bad. What do you want from me, huh? Just watch the damned thing. Christ.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Yeah, it's PRINCE'S Fault

The Federal Communications Commission has received bizarre complaints about Prince’s Super Bowl half-time performance.
Official moans and groans received by the FCC, following the televised spectacular last month, include one from a man who claimed the performance left him with erectile dysfunction.
Another woman complained she feared Prince's performance would turn her son gay.
The pop superstar made headlines for a naughty guitar pose he made behind a huge sheet towards the end of his 15-minute performance.

First of all, let me say that obviously, someone is screwing with the FCC. I refuse to let myself believe that someone could make an accusation THAT stupid. I realize that there ARE some folks out there that are, in fact, unapologetically ignorant, and their ignorance is usually compounded by some archaic religious beliefs. Throw in the occasional appearance by the"PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY?! OH NOES!!11eleventy!" crowd, and you've got a lot of idgits running around freely out there, but for the sake of my sanity, let's look at this as though some bored people are having a bit of fun at the expense of the Federal Communications Commission.

Out of a morbid sense of curiousity, I did some poking around on the internets, and I found a whole slew of letters to the FCC, that, if you wanna take them at face value, would lead one to believe that both Prince and the good people who make Snickers are going straight to hell (and we all know that the candy makers of the world have already established their place in heaven, so that's a load of horseshit.) If you want to have yourself a little chuckle/cringe, check them out Here.

You all read that, and I'm gonna go grab something to eat, because my appetite's a-pokin' at me, pokin' at me...Hmm..


Monday, March 19, 2007

I'm Back, Baby...

I have returned from my oh-so brief hiatus, and I honestly don't have much to tell. My week was pretty uneventful, aside from a trip to the zoo, and Harper finding out the truth about Santa, which was actually delightfully drama-free: she asked, I told, she basically laughed at me for going through all that trouble every year, and then went to sleep. Kids, huh?

I really don't have anything more to add to that, so I'm including this link to WWTDD?, which features a video of Lily Tomlin and asshole director David O. Russell going off on each other. It's...Interesting to say the least, and now I know (one reason) why I ♥ Huckabees was such a massive piece of doody. Massive. Doody.

Did I say "massive"? I did? Oh. I'm gonna go take a nap...