"But don't be reading my mind between four and five: that's Willie's time!"
"Hi David, I'm Grandpa!"
"TELEVISION! Teacher, mother, secret lover."
"Uh oh, the lil' fat boy and his family are in trouble!"
You know how annoying it is when you get a song in your head and you can't get rid of it no matter what? Yeah? Try having TWO SONGS playing on an endless, alternating loop in your brain. I have both Echo and the Bunnymen and Husker Du imbeded in my noggin and damned if I know why. I heard a snippet of one and the other just seeped out of my subconscious. Argh..
PS-As you may be able to guess by these 2 choices, I was that kid who always showed up to school on monday morning, bleary eyed, because I was up late sunday night watching 120 Minutes on MTV
Let me start off, by saying that I am NOT a Star Wars person. I've seen them all, but I'm not what you would call a fan. Even so, I still found this to be funny as hell. It's a bunch of clips of Darth Vader pulled from the SW films, dubbed with lines from other James Earl Jones movies: "I'd like to increase the black representation of this committee. Gentlemen lets go for a stroll."
What, did anyone think I'd forget this? I had to save the best for last. This is another MST3k short, The Truck Farmer. I'm not going to say much else, because I just noticed that You Tube now has Time Chasers and Final Sacrifice (ROWSDOWER!), so I'm probably going to be up all night now. DAMN YOU TUBE! You've stolen my life!
Paris Hilton Death Clip
I found this the other day while searching for House videos. I hate this bitch on a level usually reserved for Nazis and child molesters. To get to the really good part, skip to about 1:06 on the time, that way you won't be subjected to any more of her shitty acting than necessary.
PS- I love that hey had "Whore" as one of the tags for this on You Tube.
Someone should have thought of this years ago:
Organisers of a music festival have had to change their fancy dress circus theme after some ticket holders told them they had a phobia of clowns.
The Bestival, which takes place on 8, 9 and 10 September near Newport, Isle of Wight, had asked festival-goers to turn up in curly wigs and large shoes.
But organisers decided to shelve the idea after a number of ticket holders said they suffered from Coulrophobia.
Revellers are still encouraged to wear fancy dress but to avoid clown outfits.
Organisers have suggested people instead turn up in "bunny ears, a Spam tin outfit, an astronaut's helmet, a witch's hat or just a plain old Buzz Lightyear lycra all-in-one" for the concerts which include performances by the Pet Shop Boys and the Scissor Sisters.
The Bestival, at Robin Hill Country Park, broke the Guinness World Record last year for the biggest fancy dress party when 10,000 people turned up dressed as cowboys and Indians.
Coulrophobia - fear of clowns - can cause panic attacks, shortness of breath, rapid breathing, irregular heartbeat, sweating, nausea and overall feelings of dread.
I think the United Nations or Amnesty International should take note of this, and make it a worldwide law , because no one shoud be subjected to those painted faces of evil.
I was going to post a clip from Stephen King's IT, to really drive the point home, but I would like to sleep again in the next few days. So, I'm settling for yet another MST3k vid, titled "Here Comes the Circus". It's pretty horrifying, but at least you can laugh while you cower.
So, I'm sitting down to enjoy some television late last night, and what do I see coming out of the talking picture box?
I almost wet my pants.
If I was making a list of my favorite bad films, this could very well be #1. Reefer Madness was made in 1936, and started out as a cautionary tale entitled, " Tell Your Children", before it was purchased by exploitation genius Dwain Esper. It was then recut to give it a more naughty tone, and retitled, becoming one of the most famous pieces of film doody in history.
I'm too lazy to go into the plot, so I'm going to copy and paste it from one of the film's many fansites:
Dr Carroll (Josef Forte), a high-school principal, warns a group of parents against the dangers of marijuana. He illustrates his point by telling the story of Bill (Kenneth Craig) and Mary (Dorothy Short), two of his students whose lives were destroyed by the drug. A crime ring operated within their town, which hooked teenagers on marijuana by supplying free reefers at parties given at an apartment owned by Mae (Thelma White) and Jack (Carleton Young).These parties were attended by Ralph (Dave O'Brien), an older student attracted to Mary, and Blanche (Lillian Miles), one of the crime gang who was interested in Bill. One day Mary's younger brother, Jimmy (Warren McCullum), took Bill with him to Mae's apartment, where Blanche quickly hooked him on the drug. Jimmy went driving while high, and hit and killed a pedestrian. Bill began an affair with Blanche. Mary went to Mae's apartment looking for Jimmy, and accepted a reefer from Ralph, who then tried to seduce her. Bill came out of the bedroom, and hallucinated that Mary was stripping for Ralph. He attacked Ralph, and as the two were fighting, Jack tried to break it up by hitting Bill with the butt of his gun. The gun went off, and Mary was killed. Jack made Bill believe he had killed Mary. At Bill's trial, Dr Carroll testified that he knew all of Bill's behaviour was due to his use of marijuana. Jack and Mae kept Ralph at Mae's apartment so he wouldn't tell the police what really happened. Ralph went insane through his drug use and beat Jack to death. The police arrested Ralph, Mae and Blanche. Mae talked, and the criminal gang was rounded up. Blanche explained that Bill was innocent, and he was released. Ralph was put in an asylum. Blanche committed suicide.
Makes sense to me! This movie is SO over the top, so melodramatic, so horribly acted, that you cannot help but love it. The evil, unmarried couple who live in sin and foist the most demonic of weed on unsuspecting children....Sleep in twin beds? How do the BRILLIANT law enforcement officials dispose of the ganja after the big raid? By BURNING it, of course! I'm not a big druggie or anything, but I've taken a toke or 2 in my day (I now officially sound 100 years old), and I have never seen anyone smoke a joint(after joint, after joint) the way the people in this movie do,like this Zeppo Marxesque piano player:
Instead of "Puff, puff, pass" it's just "Puff, puff, puff, puff, puff, puff", and they smoke so fast too, you'd swear it was laced with speed or something. I've seen this quite a few times, and it still amazes the hell out of me, that before this became the film it is today, that the people making it were serious. I mean, come on, how many of you have known a stoner like Ralph here, aka "Faster, FASTER!"?
Dude's more like a tweaker than a 420 boy.
This was remade a few years ago, as a musical spoof with Steven Weber and Alan Cumming, and it was ok, but you can't improve on perfection. I could go on, but I'm tired and have a sudden urge to go smoke a bowl. Since I'm such a sweetie, I'm providing a link to Google Video, where you can watch the entire film in all it's public domain glory.
Watch it, and remember: